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Awkward Thanksgiving Moments

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by PIMPTRESS, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. PIMPTRESS

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    Calling your mother in law's new husband by the ex-husband's name repeatedly because you are drunk is awkward.
     
  2. Pinkcup

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    I decided to be a Good Daughter and wake up early to help my mom prepare dinner. After all, I did invite The Dude and he eats like a hungry rhino so I'm sure she's stressing out about side dishes and shit.

    Yeah. I sleepily stumbled downstairs to find my Mom at the kitchen sink, washing something...and my Dad right behind her with his hand up her nightgown. They were giggling.
     
  3. TX.

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    When your alcoholic uncle who has dementia and lives in a nursing home ends up eating way too much (bc he's out of the home and eating real food!!!1!1) and barfing all over the table without warning. My dad had to give him a shower and some more clothes. No wonder my dad and I dread the holidays around my moms family.
     
  4. walt

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    After dinner, the tv's on and Grandma ( who is losing her marbles a bit ) see "Miracle on 34th Street" and asks if this is on tv.

    "Yep."

    "What show is it ?"

    "Miracle on 34th St."

    10 minutes pass, the scene with Macy's parade in the background is on.

    "Oh, I thought the parade was on this morning, it's going on now ?"

    "Nope, it's the movie."

    Not exciting, but it was a little weird for us.
     
  5. $100T2

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    Enjoying the appearance of your sister in law in her bikini in the hot tub while your wife is in there too...
     
  6. zyron

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    The Aristocrats!
     
  7. JWags

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    We said awkward, not awesome.

    FOCUS: I have a cousin who is 22, that we have suspected of having a drug or alcohol issue. Not that it is a laughing matter, but its become ridiculous over the last few years as he mysteriously disappears during holiday gatherings only to reappear with a refilled Starbucks coffee cup. We all pretty much know he is dipping out to refill a boozy concoction, but now that he is over 21, its pretty suspicious considering he could legally be slamming Jack if he so wanted and its not like my family is a bunch of teetotalers.

    Fast forward to today, they left a few hours ago and he left his cup next to the garbage. Opening it up, the smell of liquor smacked me in the face. Not only that, we found an empty bottle of syzzurp in the garage. So it appears this year he got a bit sloppy and homeboy was getting his lean on, Weezy style. That explains alot about his erratic behavior.
     
  8. AlmostGaunt

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    This is perhaps not a real Thanksgiving experience, but I went out for 'Thanksgiving' dinner with some friends last night, largely because one of them is a lovely American girl who was feeling homesick.

    So, she is telling us the story of the first thanksgiving, and then we are apparently supposed to go around in a circle saying what we were thankful for. Now, we have been drinking for a while at this point, and we are in a jam packed restaurant with < 0.5m between the tables. My American friend, bless her heart, is sort of loud by default. After being thankful for her husband and her family and Australian wines, she bursts out with "Oh! And I'm thankful for Susanna (colleague) not harassing me about the talcum powder on the floor of the bathroom any more! Why yes Susanna, I do have a sweaty vagina!"

    Cue dead silence from the entire restaurant. And my hysterical laughter.

    Also, I've never heard of either a) a sweaty vagina or b) the use of talcum powder to remedy this situation. Is this a thing? Nom?
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

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    Eating at one of my dad's cousin's place a few years back I refused to hold hands during the premeal religious prayer*. My relative, a late 30's college hippy shoots me a deadly look when I won't take her hand. I go to fill up my plate from the counter and sample a piece of turkey. The girl, who I've probably seen 3 times my entire life flipped out and started yelling at me for not holding her hand but using it to pick up food. Before anyone knows what's going on her mom starts screaming at her to shut up and not ruin another family dinner. It was painfully awkward for the rest of the meal. When we got home my mom turns and ask if I knew what the two were yelling about, she hadn't known it was all over me not holding hands. I felt like Larry David.


    edit: Also, anyone else have the tradition of going around the table and stating what you were thankful for the past year? I fucking hated that shit and was always a nervous idiot thanking the fact that I had a Super Nintendo.



    *Also, coming from a non religious home it was always fucking awkward bowing your head and clasping your hands acting like you were praying at other people's houses.
     
  10. Stealth

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    I believe that those in the know have advised against the use of talcum powder for sweaty vaginas.

    I will leave it up to you to apply your Google Fu to this topic.
     
  11. scotchcrotch

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    Crazy sister being admitted to a mental health hospital two days before Thanksgiving, while there being diagnosed bipolar, finally my parents pulling her out Thanksgiving morning and being told "be careful around her".


    Fun times
     
  12. tweetybird

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    Backstory: my sister is a lesbian and is getting married to her girlfriend next year. My uncle is 60 and came out of the closet a couple years ago. This Thanksgiving, we met his 40 year old boyfriend for the first time.

    I was taking orders for pie, as I usually do. (I made apple, pecan, and pumpkin, and homemade whipped cream, and nearly everyone wants a different combo of the above). So I turn to uncle's boyfriend after he has specified his pie order, and move on to the next step: "On top or on the side?" Without missing a beat, the boyfriend shot back: "On the side? That's a new one."

    The entire room died laughing, while I shrieked at nobody, "I meant the WHIPPED CREAM, you jerks! GODAMMIT!"

    Oh, and I totally dipped the ends of ribbon on the front of my shirt in the butternut squash soup while serving it, which then got all over my skirt and sweater. My dry cleaner loves me.
     
  13. $100T2

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    A buddy of mine came over today to check out a construction project I'm working on (aka "The Basement Remodel of 2009-2012") and I told him of the aforementioned bikini, and he said, "Oh yeah, I'd totally fuck your sister-in-law. If I was ever going to cheat on my wife, that's who I'd fuck."
     
  14. Trakiel

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    Being asked by my mother to explain a pen & paper RPG to her and her husband. I quickly changed the subject, as I always do.
     
  15. lostalldoubt86

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    When your cousin who just got out of rehab, told everyone in the family to go fuck themselves, and moves out of her parents house at 17 comes to dinner...

    Also you, your brother, your sister, your sister's boyfriend, your dad, and your uncle all got high before sitting down to dinner...

    Oh, and two of your aunts have been in a fight for the last six months that only one of them know about and the aunt who knows about it asks you to pick sides, so you side against her and she refuses to come to Thanksgiving but calls every half hour to see if the oblivious aunt and her "drug addict daughter" have left and to bitch everyone out over text message.

    I have fun holidays.
     
  16. StayFrosty

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    When your uncle shows up and spends hours ranting to anyone who will listen (and anyone who won't) about how the Man is out to get us all and everything sucks.

    Except, that's just the annoying part. The awkward part? He almost killed himself last year because he thought it would be ok to mix bipolar meds with a bottle of whiskey. When my mother and her husband went to his place to stop him, he tried to grope her while expressing his sexual/emotional interest in her with graphic detail.

    I'm sure you all can understand the discomfort of being in the same room and seeing him say, "Hi (sister), Happy Thanksgiving! How have you been?"

    This is the same uncle who has in the last decade pulled almost as many DUIs, has wrecked my cousin's car, and gave out personal family information to his disowned brother.*

    *Who has spent more than half his life in jail for theft/robbery, is an absolute sociopath, and used to lecture family members on the failings in their lives...from the prison inmate phone.

    Unfortunately, I didn't get to witness this, but apparently this year, another uncle started cracking dick jokes while his mother sat two feet away from him.
     
  17. madamsquirrel

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    I am just happy to wake up this Black Friday to realize that my debit card is still in my purse, not stolen by my junkie cousin sometime during the Thanksgiving festivities like last year!