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Awkward Moments

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by hotwheelz, Sep 1, 2010.

  1. RCGT

    RCGT
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    BAHAHA oh wait that's the real one. Dude.

    Hmm... awkward... awkward... I'm trying to think of something, honest, but I don't get awkward often. Here's one: in high school one time, I was having a bad day (I was kind of a moody shit in high school) and some girl asks me if Muhammad is the god or the prophet, cause she thought Allah was the prophet. I don't really remember the circumstances; I think it had something to do with a school project. Anyway, I said: "Are you serious? Muhammad's the prophet." Then turned around with an exasperated look on my face. I thought I was justified, but apparently this was "OMG SO MEAN!" according to everyone else in the class and I ended up apologizing to her after.

    Seriously, American education, work on it.

    Sorry for the shitty story, it's the best I got.
     
  2. Lasersailor

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    As a senior in high school about 4 days away from graduating we're all sitting around the lunch table just bullshitting each other and having a good time. One of the guys used to be very smart and actually applied himself before he met Mary Jane. He looks across the table and says with a straight face, "So have you guys looked into any colleges yet? I was thinking about something in Maryland..."

    Cue 5 or 6 faces frozen in the "Do we tell him?" pose. Many eyes were not contacted and the last 5 minutes of lunch were silent as the guy tried to figure out if he had suddenly asked the question in Portuguese or Swahili.
     
  3. idiot_brd_user

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    Should still be lurking

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    SGEDIT: No lol's here and PM/rep shit like that.
     
  4. Czechvodkabaron

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    I sometimes "drunk sleepwalk." About 2 1/2 years ago I locked myself out of my hotel room when I was hammered drunk. I was on the quiz bowl team at my university and we had gone to a tournament out of state. We got there on the Friday night before the tournament and a bunch of us drank. I downed a 12 pack of Miller Lite 12 oz cans in the span of about 2 hours. I had gone to bed, but the next thing I knew I was awake, and in the hallway of the hotel. I was in just my t-shirt and boxers, and couldn't remember my room number. I thought I had figured it out and started knocking on a door, but nobody answered.

    I then went to the front desk and asked them if they could help me. We had booked the rooms (I think there were 5) with our club credit card, and they had a hard time looking up which rooms were ours. A few seconds later an older couple walked by with their suitcases and belongings and said something to me like "you were the one banging on our door!" They left, and the person at the front desk finally found the numbers to one of our rooms.

    I went to that room, and of course the phone call front he desk had woken everyone up. They had to call the cell phones of the people who were in my room and ask them for the room number. Luckily one of the people I was sharing the room with picked up, and I made my way back to the room.

    You can probably imagine how much I was made fun of for this incident from there on out. I felt terrible about it and feel lucky that the person at the front desk or that old couple didn't call the police.

    Oh, and I won a trophy at the tournament the next day for being one of the highest individual scorers.
     
  5. Superfantastic

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    Alright, should have time to share one of my favourite personal stories.

    Back in 2003, I travelled the east coast of Australia, spending the first week in Sydney. It just so happened a girl I fooled around with in high school was there at the same time. Sydney is huge, so I agree to travel inland to meet up with her and her friends to party. It still ranks in my top 5 list of 'Hardest I've Ever Partied' nights. I ended up staying awake (to varying degrees) for 41 hours. Good times.

    Anyways, the awkward moment came around hour 30-35, after we scarffed fast food and ended up at the furniture-less house she was renting with a few other travellers. Before we got the chance, her fat roommate passed out on the air mattress they were sharing. So she grabs a sheet and says we can lay down in the uh, sun-room dealy attached to the back of the house. So after a twenty-some hour drunk fest, we lay down on a linoleum floor in what was basically a greenroom, under the hot Australian sun. Obviously, this lead to some sweaty sex.

    I'm on top, and my knees are rubbing raw. Her tits are great, but she somehow feels self-conscious:

    Her: Do I not make you want to cum?
    Me: (Wiping sweat from my eyes) What? No, that's not it at all. I'm just getting too hot and --

    My stomach turns.

    Me: (Hard swallow) -- and, uh...I just...

    More pointless thrusting.

    Her: Are you ok?
    Me: (Mouth watering)...I need to...

    Puke. And I do. Right beside her head on the floor. Not five seconds later, a roommate I never met walks in carrying laundry, sees me still inside (name redacted, obviously), and looks at the puke.

    We make eye contact. She screams.

    I was too drunk/recovering from the puke to really be embarrassed at the time, but looking back, that was pretty awkward. I still crack up at the idea that the only time Laundry Girl and I ever saw each other, I was half-hard and holding her roomate's hair away from my puke while she squirmed.
     
  6. LadyLecter

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    Oh this brings back some memories.

    My freshman year of college the guy I was with was up to visit me. My roommate was living with her boyfriend in another dorm 99% of the time so we didn't feel bad about keeping the door locked and screwing like rabbits.

    During one of our sessions I was tied to all four posts of the bed with rope. Wrists and ankles. I had been tied down for maybe 10-15 minutes before we hear a knock at the door. It was my roommate who had forgotten something in the room. I told her to hold on a minute as we try to get the knots undone. Anyone who has ever been tied up or tied someone up knows that knots often get much tighter the longer you are tied up from pulling and shifting around. I am immobile and he is trying to get me untied so I can answer the door. As he's doing that, I'm trying to stall my roommate, who assured me it would only take a second. Finally, he manages to get me untied.

    I throw on a robe and open the door. She takes a look at me, a look at him (who has the comforter on my bed over his lap), and a long look at the ropes hanging off my bed posts. We stared at each other for a few seconds, then she stammered an apology before grabbing what she needed and rushing out the door. She and I never mentioned that again.

    He and I are still together and he loves telling that story. It's more entertaining now.
     
  7. WickedBitch

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    Just the other day I was at my son's football scrimmage and this woman that was sitting next to me (I didn't know her) was calling a name that sounded like my son's name. I asked her which name she was calling, because my son's name is ___________. She said "Oh, no. I'm calling <name that sounds similar to my son's>. I was having twins but I lost one. The one I lost would have been named <my son's name>."

    "Oh. Uh. So sorry!" I stammered. I didn't really talk to her for the rest of the game.
     
  8. Macgruber

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    I was playing poker in a friend's dorm room a few years ago. There was me, him, two of our other friends, and then two black guys he knew that played on the university basketball team. They were both at least 6'8", with the tallest being probably 7'ish. So, big fellas.

    They called everyone else, including us whiteys, N-words. Just part of their vernacular. After hearing it about 200 times in the few hours they were there, I guess it was on my mind. I folded a shitty hand, and the friend of mine dealing joked that I should have stayed in, because I'll flop something good. He dealt the flop, and I would have had the best hand by far.

    "Oh, you dirty nigga, I can't believe you did that!" I said.

    Then, after about six seconds of being on my phone, I realized what I had just said. I looked up to see everyone staring at me, including both black guys. I couldn't even say anything, I just sat there for another 10 seconds, looking back and forth at each guy as they stared at me harder than anyone else I've ever offended before. The taller one just stood up and left, while the shorter one stuck around for a few minutes to play another hand (and in that entire time the only words spoken were "call", "raise", and "fold"), and then left.

    I stuck around the dorm room for a few more hours, scared that if I left, I'd be jumped in the parking lot by the entire black community. When I did finally leave, I was walking down the last hallway before getting outside, and I saw about 10 guys by the door, including both guys from upstairs.

    "There's that motherfucker!" one of them yelled, as the whole group started briskly walking towards me. I just stood in the middle of the hallway and waited for them. The short guy from the dorm room was first in line. He walked right up to me and stared at me for about four seconds. Then said:

    "HAHAHAHA just kidding cracka. Don't shit your pants just yet!"

    The entire group broke down in hysterical laughter. I guess they thought tormenting me would be funnier than kicking my ass. I played poker with both guys a few more times after that, and just made sure I didn't throw out any more N-bombs.
     
  9. scotchcrotch

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    The night of our wedding after opening presents, one of the bridesmaids said my wife and I got some good shit. Then recanted the "shit" part, explaining it was not derogatory.

    I replied "no, it is shit" holding the jalapeno shaped salsa bowl while the buyer of the present turned her head from afar.
     
  10. Viking33

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-re ... very-funny</a>

    I don't even know where to start...
     
  11. Diablo

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    I'm dating this girl for a while right after officer boot camp, and I decide to let her hold on to one of my dog tags so she feels safe and whatnot. Well we break up a few month later and I really need this dog tag back because it has my social security number on it, but getting a hold of the girl is a pain in the ass. I decided to drive to her house on a long weekend to see if I can just pick it up instead of her mailing it to me as I lived in Virginia for training and she was in Michigan (I flew in to hang out with my sister and live the college life again, but stopped at the girls house while out and about). Anyway, she wasn't home but her dad was and as I was walking in the door, I could hear some porn blasting from his computer. He kind of jogged over and turned it off as I was taking my shoes off and didn't think I heard. Cue awkward next 10 min conversation and interesting phone call to the girl later.
     
  12. Elset

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    I was reminded of my most awkward moment this weekend.

    Senior year of high school we had a consumer economics class and we were given mock checkbooks to practice writing checks on and balancing and everything. I wrote out a check for $69.69 to my friends mom, who is super hot. The memo section said something along the lines of "Thanks for last night!" I gave the check to my friend who took it home and set it on his dresser. A few days later his mom was passing through his room, cleaning up a bit I guess and found the check. The next time I went over was probably the most awkward moment of my life.
     
  13. Decatur Dave

    Decatur Dave
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    If you've ever had a MILF's baby daddy drop the kids off early without a call, you're missing out on some fantastic nervous tension. You're not sure whether or not to speak, make yourself disappear or even make eye contact. Then try having him show up while you're sitting on his couch, watching his big screen and multiply the awkwardness of the situation by ten.
     
  14. Politik

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    Sitting in the front row of a 300 person lecture, hitting on a freshman before class starts while mindlessly dicking around on my laptop. Misclick on my top 20 most trafficked websites and boom, porn hub is on display for all to see. For the rest of class I stared straight forward and prayed to Vishnu for the sweet release of death.
     
  15. XAM

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    a few years ago I was smoking a fuck-ton of weed with a friend of mine in a one room apartment with a bathroom.

    We put a mattress in the bathroom and started calling girls to come over. So one of us could fuck a girl in the bathroom while the other one could fuck a girl in the livingspace. It was around 3 am on a week night so most chicks were sleeping, busy, uninterested .. until this one pretty cool chick and two of her friends whom we didn't know said they could come over if we paid for their taxi.

    So we totally pooled together 30 for a taxi-ride for the girls came over. We smoked the chicks out and I was getting it on with the cool chick in the bathroom and my friend was smoking the two other girls out and getting ready to fuck ... but the two other chicks hadn't smoked much weed before so one of them passed out and the other one thought we had given the other one some kind of knock out drugs and had then she had a paranoid fit.

    Thinking, that we were going to date rape, mutilate or whatever she had conjured in her paranoid stoned weed fucked mind, she came in banging on the bathroom door .. interrupting our fucking.

    So the girl totally had a panic attack and finally she just started trying to force the chick i was fucking to go away from my friend's place ... but she wanted to fuck and smoke weed .. we tried to calm the crazy chick down and talked nice to her and whatever.

    Finally she cooled down and fell asleep with the other chick who was already sleeping. So it was my buddy and me, we both were horny as fuck ... and there was only one chick awake and horny. So we just took a few shots and smoked a little weed and did some porno-style spit roasting and shot our loads on her face and so on. My friend squirted a little cum on my leg by accident when he came. It was pretty awkward to get another dude's cum on your body.
     
  16. zyron

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    That story definitely ended way differently then expected.
     
  17. Frank

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    I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to stop reading for the rest of the week, nothing will top that.
     
  18. Dcc001

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    New Bitch On Top

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    I just can't believe that you found a group of random girls, not prostitutes, to come over to what was essentially a crackhouse and fuck on the mattresses on the floor. This generation is lost.
     
  19. Queen-Bee

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    I think you answered it yourself.
     
  20. whatisinaname

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    Hoping to be even a fraction of the man Jim is.

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    Am I the only one that feels like they are reading Penthouse Letters from the 90's?

    Oh wait, does anyone even know what Penthouse Letters is/was? Sigh...