NYE has always been one of my favorite holidays. It's the one holiday of the year that pretty much doesn't come with familial obligations attached to it; it's just a holiday for having a good time with your friends.
If someone had told you last New Year's Eve what you'd be doing this New Year's Eve, how do you think you'd have reacted?
Heading up to Montreal with some college friends on New Year's Eve. Never been, unless you count a trip with my parents when I was like 8. Should be interesting.
Someone: Hey Blue Dog, I'm from the future- I'm here to tell you that exactly one year from today, you are getting married and will have a baby shortly after. Me:... Is she hot? Someone: Yep. Me:... Sweet!
I've always hated NYE. Normally, no one gives a shit if I don't go out to the bars, but at NYE, everyone I know gives me shit for not wanting to go out. I've always hated bars (and I don't want to turn this into an anti-bar rant, so I'll just leave it at that). They're just not my thing. I'd rather stay home with a few close friends, have a few drinks there, and have some conversations, watch some movies, or play some games. That is my ideal NYE. This has never happened. Instead, most years, I get dragged to whatever bar my wife's friends are hanging out at. My wife gets hit on at least six times by drunken assholes whose pickup lines usually consist of "a wedding ring just means you put out" or "Is your marriage going well?" After almost getting into a fight, we sit back down in our group, everyone gets absolutely hammered, with zero thoughts of a designated driver, so of course, the person who drinks the least (i.e. me) ends up being the DD by default. I spend the rest of the night watching everyone else get shitfaced, while I sit there bored out of my skull because I can't hear shit, and everyone around me is wasted while I am completely sober. This year, thank God, my wife works on New Years Day. This means we won't be going out. She and I will sit at home, watch season 1 of Community on DVD, have a few drinks and snacks, and pop some champagne at midnight. It'll be just a nice, relaxing night at home.
Might? I'm pretty sure it's mandatory to not play the bagpipes sober. As for me, I'll probably be spending it with my mom's side of the family. New year's really started losing its appeal once I regularly started staying up past midnight, most of my friends are out of town this time of year, and it's not every day I can have traditional deep fried Dutch new year's eve food. You didn't specify if it was the baby or the wife that was hot.
Alt-focus: Times Square. Going to Times Square on NYE is a hellish maelstrom of overratedness. And I did it about as stupidly as possible; I up and decided to go at around 4 p.m. Then, I decided I had a whole bunch of time to kill so I stopped in a theater and watched a movie. A Lord of the Rings movie. It was nearing 11 by the time I was even in the area, so I couldn't get within 10 blocks of that fucking ball. AND I was only like 15, so I was stone-sober. AND I was by myself. I only knew it was midnight because I happened to be passing by a bar while they were counting down. That year sucked.
The baby's a boy... don't you read?!? My New Year's celebration is still to be decided. I've been invited to two parties, one in Georgia (wtf?) and one in Raleigh. The Raleigh party is doable, I'll only know a handful of people there but that's ok. Also have the option to to stay in with a friend, get hammered and have New Year sex. That sounds more appealing since I won't have to get dressed up.
I don't necessarily have a problem with NYE, except for the grandiose expectations that people place on it. In reality, its just another night. If you approach it as such, you can have a blast. If you expect figurative fireworks and magic, you are probably going to be disappointed. Unfortunately, alot of people look at it as some magical night. Which is why lots of NYE end in tears, vomit, and stupid girls slipping on the ice in ridiculous heels. This year, I can honestly say I have no damn idea what I am doing. Chicago has an excess of $100+ bar specials, most of which suck ass. Some of my friends are going to a terrible club that I wouldn't go to even if it wasn't NYE. I was supposed to go to some new club that opened and do bottle service with one of my trust fund, rich kid friends and a bunch of people, but about a week ago, he canceled our reservation to go to a concert. Well, then. So I most likely will just find a random bar with some people and get my sip on. One of these years I plan to be around someone with whom I can voraciously make out with at midnight, but in the 5 years that I have been out for NYE, that never seems to happen, especially when girls I'm dating at the time pass out at 11. Whoops. BEST NYE: 2 years ago, one of my current roommates had a party at his old place. Bunch of people came over and we commenced getting shit rocked. Said friend and I made a vow to kill a bottle of Woodford together and got after it. He went back into his bedroom about an hour later to start making out and fingerblasting one of our friends, so I aggressively tried to make progress in his absence. Shortly after midnight, I remember feeling like I was going to puke. And thats the last thing I remember. Evidently, I didn't want to make a mess in my friend's toilet, so I considerately puked all over his shower. One of my buddies found me and fireman carried me to the guest bedroom where he tossed me onto the bed, where my ex-gf and her best friend KK were passed out. I woke up the next morning with my hand up my ex's dress and resting comfortably on her ass, all the while very confused. After realizing I didn't have a 3some, the ex informed me that shortly after I was tossed onto the bed, I woke her up with aforementioned fondle attempt to which she patted me on the head and said Happy New Years. Sigh, I kind of miss her... WORST: A tie between the next 2 years in Chicago. Both were "bar extravaganzas." One at a flashy bar downtown, the other at this Irish Bar down the street. At the flashy bar, I was one of 2 single people in a group of about 12 and the other single person, a chick, was a horrifically dull and awkward friend of my roommate's bitch of a girlfriend. And to put it nicely, she looked like something I scraped off my shoe. Since it was crowded as hell, I didn't really get buzzed, much less drunk, and I was forced to attempt to meet girls awkwardly on my own, before realizing there weren't many to be had. The night ended with a mediocre toast at midnight and cab ride home where 2 people attempted to molest each other next to me in the back seat...grand. Last year, we went to this Irish bar. The food was alright, drinks were plentiful thankfully. Unfortunately, some drunk bastard ran into the TV near us and broke it so we couldn't watch anything. Then my roommate's gf got sick from a flu bug she was battling. And then the other people we were with decided just to "not be into it." My gf of 2 months at the time was having a party at her place, so she was not there, but at least I eagerly looked forward to some NYE sex later on. Fast forward to 2AM. She arrives at my apartment, walking like a newborn giraffe on a skateboard, tries to kiss me and misses, hitting her chin on my shoulder. She is awake just long enough to fall onto my bed, fully clothed and is too hungover the next morning to even mess around. Delightful!
NYE is, and always has been, highly overrated in my book. The first year we were married, we threw a NYE party. It was fun, but people were still hanging around at 4:30 am. We went to a party for Y2K, but other than that, we stick to our NYE tradition: Chinese take-out and DVDs (streaming NetFlix this year).
I like getting dressed up and going somewhere classy, but I staunchly refuse to pay ludicrous covers. A girl I know is paying $109 to go to a party at a downtown hotel. What the fuck is the point of that? For this reason, I enjoy house parties. I'm toying with the idea this year, though, of shelling out $29 to go to the local corner pub's event. That's not unreasonable and includes a few free drinks and hors d'oeurves. This place usually has its fair share of hot girls. BEST NYE: A two-way tie between 2004 and 2009. In 2004, it was the last year all my best friends growing up went out together in downtown Charlotte. I've bounced around quite a bit since, and they have, too. One's in Iraq. One is in the Border Patrol. One lives in Tampa. I still keep in touch with them all, and one of my favorite memories of all the times we hung out is NYE 2004. In 2009, I had just started dating a smoking hot girl. We went to a house party, got trashed, and slunk upstairs to a deserted living room to fuck on a couch. Someone tried to open the door, at which point I yelled "Occupado!" I don't speak Spanish. In my haste to get dressed, I didn't properly put my boxers back on and they fell out of the bottom of my pants leg in the middle of a crowded ass party. I tell this story much better in person, and I still can't do so to this day without laughing my ass off. WORST NYE: Without a doubt, 2008. I was in bumfuck New Mexico and working at my former newspaper until 2 a.m. Alone.
New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday, but I'm apparently the only one of my friends who cares about celebrating it. My original plans were to have my two best friends come down to the city with me, go to a huge party on the 30th and then just roam around on the actual holiday finding awesome things to do because it's New York Fucking City and obviously there are going to be hundreds of options. But, surprise surprise, my friends backed out of a plan last minute, and now it just looks like I'll be spending it in my hometown afuckingain. The upside is that at least we'll be able to go to bars instead of sitting around someone's house for the first time. I'll be with most of my friends so it's not like it's going to be a bad night, but I was still really hoping for something more exciting this year. Oh well.
Focus 1 This is the first NYE I don't have set plans. I will probably end up watching the Bowl games that afternoon at a friend's, then going out to a few bars around his place with a few others. More than likely...everyone will be shit canned. Not getting too hyped this year...as this holiday has lost its appeal to me, just like St. Patty's Day. Amateurs ruin shit. Focus 2 I haven't really had any memorable NYE moments. Most of them have been anti-climactic. I would say the one I actually enjoyed the most was 06/07, when I was deployed in the Middle East. People brought their own non authorized supply of booze out and would sneak it into non alcoholic drinks. There was a 3 drink limit on beer/liqour on base but thanks to some connections we managed to make things interesting.
This is the first year married, so Jägerette and I are staying in, making crabcakes and a crown lamb roast, and then getting drunk off of champagne. We had to decide if we should get a single bottle of nice stuff, or a bunch of bottles of cheap stuff. Cheap stuff it is! I never go out on New Years anymore if I am in the states. Each time I go out there are too many fuckwits, and have had too many times when people try to start shit. The two times I was out of the states were pretty kick ass. New Years Eve 2003-4 I was in Dublin, and went out to the Temple bar area with my sister. I got drunk, hooked up with an Irish chick, and then had to drag my sister away from some creepy ass french dude who was plying her with drinks and trying to get her to marry him. New Years eve 2006-7 was a complete shit storm. My friend and I flew from Berlin to Barcelona on NYE. We arrived at around 9.45 at night, and had no plans on where to sleep, where downtown was, or where the bars were. So we hopped on a bus at the airport, and then I remembered Las Ramblas was the most famous place in Barcelona, and it was the next stop. So we get off, and there is a large town square crowded with people, so we get off the bus, and I remind my friend that we are in a city full of petty thieves, so I take our passports and put them into a pocket no pickpockets could reach. My friend kept his wallet. (this is important) So we find some booze, and party with the Spaniards, meet up with some brits who inexplicably want us to keep saying yogurt over and over. Las Ramblas was absurd. There was an area where about 30 people had gathered up every last glass bottle they could find and then were throwing them onto the ground in the middle of the street. We ended up on the giant statue dedicated to Columbus and climbed up it and partied up there for a while, until my friend wanted to walk around more, and a group of North African people came up to my friend and started dancing with him. He was drunk, and joined in, and then they walked away after a minute. My friend then realized that they had taken his wallet. So we got the british guys, 2 of them were rugby players, so we had 4 huge guys, so no problem against some scrawny Moroccans. We caught up to them, and then about 10 more guys came out of the shadows to come after us, so we high tailed it out of there. We didn't have any place to sleep, so we went to the airport and slept there. I then spent New Years Day in a Barcelona police station while my friend reported the theft.
From a drunk thread long ago: I'll be hanging out with this guy. We're finally both single again and he has my favorite penis ever so I have a sneaking suspicion that my self-imposed celibacy kick will be coming to an end very soon.
This year, on New Years Eve, I am planning to masturbate 4 times. And I'm being dead serious. My wife is really sick right now with a nasty cold/flu/strep combo, so a nice dinner/hotel is out of the question. Lately I've been reminiscing a lot about the things I used to be able to do in my younger years. I was a 6'8" high-jumper, I could run a marathon in under 3.5 hours, I could drink for 5 days straight without getting hungover, and I could masturbate furiously and repeatedly without fatigue. I really wanted to surprise myself this year, but in my shape and age, the first three are pretty much out of the question. It's been years since I've handled myself more than twice in one 24 hour period. 3 times is probably an achievable number, but it's New Years Eve, so I thought, let's go for the gusto. I haven't broken the news to my wife yet, but I'm sure she'll be amped. Plus, NYE is on a Friday, so that gives me 2 full days to recover before I have to go back to work. I've been bookmarking the Internet for the past couple of weeks, and I think I have enough material to get me through the day. For old times sake, I might start things off with the bra section of the Spiegel catalog, although I'm really going to need some momentum going into this thing. At my age, that's a lot of wood to chop, so I want to make sure I'm adequately prepared and well-rested. Stay tuned.
In my short time on the 21+ NYE scene, I've come to the conclusion that generally, going to bars/clubs is A) ridiculously expensive and B) jam packed with people to the point where getting a drink is about as likely as Stephen Hawking winning a gold medal in the high jump. I will be taking a simple approach this year. Myself and a group of my best friends will be getting shit housed on cheap whiskey and then going to a NOFX show in Los Angeles. I don't have to dress nice, I don't have to try to impress anyone (i'll be surrounded by dirty punks, looking like i've showered in the last month makes me the best looking guy there by default), and best of all, its cheap, which makes my jew blood absolutely giddy. The only downfall to having a very punk New Years is that, well, I want to have sex with a woman and punk shows don't have a lot of attractive girls in attendance. O well, should be an awesome time regardless.
I half-assed just made plans with my sister to go out the the bars where she lives in BFE, Texas. She said there are a few town bicycles there, so I'll be able to end this dry spell. Here's to hoping there are semi-decent looking girls and lots of alcohol!!
You know the popular girl that all of the girls have a girl crush on because they are gorgeous, funny, and worldly? I got invited out to NYE dinner and festivities with her and 14 of her close friends at the newly opened hot spot of a restaurant. But I'll be spending it getting wasted with my family in my hometown of bumfuck, VA instead. I wouldn't have it any other way. I hate going out of NYE and I would have had to look especially cute, that is a lot of pressure.