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Ass-whoopings

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dubyu tee eff, May 18, 2010.

  1. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    Of course not. If I want to scare you, I'm going to say that I'm going to hit you.

    But, if I want to hit you, I'm sure as hell not going to tell you that it's coming. I'm going to sucker punch you and make sure it counts.

    Not that I've ever actually hit someone before. I talk a lot of garbage at bars and have no problem hijacking people's conversations. I assume everyone is my friend, has the same sense of sarcastic, off-color humor, and I completely ignore social cues. Naturally, this pisses a lot of people off. But, there's one line I've used to get me out of a lot of close calls:

    I don't want you to have to whoop my ass.
     
  2. PenetrationStation

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    I won't relate my boring fight stories but an idea I've been kicking around for the past couple of months.

    I suspect that growing appreciation for MMA and the spectacular rise of the UFC in particular will result in more young men taking jiu jitsu and muay thai lessons in high school and college. At the gym I train at, a lot of old guys are getting into it, as well.

    I think that this will have terrible consequences for bar fighting. The days of a good ole rumble at the local watering hole are all but over. In the past, the person who knew boxing or wrestling could dominate an opponent because boxers will always beat an untrained striker and wrestlers could take the fight to the ground at their leisure. However, their advantage usually resulted in minor injury because the wrestlers could throw a few shots to the head of a downed opponent or a boxer could knock their opponent unconscious.

    As more people learn muay thai and jiu jitsu, I suspect that more serious injuries will crop up. Someone will object and say that things like armbars and rear naked chokes can incite submission, ie. the person can say "I give up," before real injury occurs. Things like foot and ankle locks, though, don't hurt until you hear your joint pop. A lot of the people who will perform these techniques will not be experts, increasing the likelihood of injury. Moreover, alchohol doesn't exactly encourage restraint and mercy in a heated situation. Finally, a bunch of you have related anecdotes in which the fight was not one on one, but a gang affair. In those situations, it makes sense to disable your immediate opponent as quickly as possible. Widespread dissemination of MMA knowledge will lead to people disabling others in more serious ways than we have seen before.

    The thing that really gives me pause when I step into a bar these days is that you never know who knows what. That poindexter over there playing video poker at the bar might be a purple belt in jiu jitsu. I am 6' 5" and weigh 240 lbs, but I've had my ass handed to me enough times during sparring to know that technique trumps size every time.

    I got into a lot of fights in high school and the early years of college, but now I avoid every opportunity to fight. The legal ramifications are the main reason, but the danger of running into someone who knows more than me is also very real.
     
  3. Joe-Diddle

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    I've been out drinking with guys from my gym dozens of times, and we've never been in an altercation. These are guys that could quite literally break a man's arm off and beat him with the soggy end. Are a bunch of Affliction or TapouT wearing posers going to take a month of MMA and go out to a bar and start a fight? Maybe. But the idea that there's going to be a catastrophic rise in deaths and injury from bar-fights is moronic.
     
  4. no use for a name

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    I've been in a handful of fights, and usually come out on top. But there was one time in high school I got whooped on. I was attacked for a reason that is still not known to this day. A guy who was a year older than me just jumped on my back and wrestled me to the ground out of nowhere. I held my own, but he got the best of me in the end. Luckily it was only in front of about 6 dudes and no chicks. It was before I hit my growth spurt, and thinking back on it, that guy is a total pussy for jumping on a shrimp like myself for no good reason. I'd love to see him try some shit like that now.

    My latest fight was kind of shitty because it was with a buddy, but stuff happens. My club lacrosse team gets together and plays flag football in the fall, and this guy threw a ridiculously dirty block on me. The play was over, I had already stopped, and he ran at me and put the crown of his skull right in my nose. I didn't have a huge problem with that, but then he just walked away. Didn't apologize or ask if I was ok as I layed on the ground with blood pouring out of my face. Alright mother fucker.

    This guy is an absolute beast that played long stick defense at UNC. He would always cover me in lacrosse practice and threw the dirtiest checks to my head, throat, etc., which is completely ridiculous to do in practice to your teammate. So the dirty hit combined with years of eating his dirty checks in practice, I lost it. I went after him and fucked him up. I landed two punches before he even hit the ground (not sucker punches, he and everyone else out there saw this coming from a mile away), and he got back up and came after me again, so I just tossed him right back down and was about to jump on him when the fight was broken up. Later my other friends told me they thought I was crazy going after him, and did not expect the fight to end like that. I'm a natural athlete and a good fighter, but I think the year of muay thai and BJJ I took after college definitely helped me here. Below is a picture of me after the game. All the blood on my shirt is from when he busted my nose on that dirty play, and thus the reason for the fight in the first place.


    My proudest fight memory was getting jumped by 5 black dudes and coming out on top. I had an altercation with these dudes at a party, resulting in them being thrown out. Then when I left about 30 minutes later they were waiting for me. I was leaving with my girlfriend, good buddy, and his girlfriend. When they saw me they walked up, and we argued for a minute before one of them threw a sucker punch at me. I lost it, and just started throwing punches aiming for chins. My friend neutralized one, leaving the other 4 for me. At one point they had me on the ground, and I knew if I didn't get up ASAP then I'd be fucked. I shot up and just started throwing again. After about a minute (which is a long fucking time to be brawling), people came running out of the apartment that was near by. When it broke up I was completely unscathed and when I regained my composure I looked at them. One was still on the ground, and two more had blood covering their faces. The other one was fine and still trying to come at me. Luckily this went down right near campus, and everyone who lived in those apartments were students. These guys were obviously not students at my college, they were just ghetto townies, so I gained favor with the crowd, and got out of there before the cops showed up. My girlfriend cried for like 2 hours that night, but later admitted it was the hottest thing she'd ever seen. She loved telling that story to people, and I didn't mind either, because whenever she told it she got really horny.
     

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  5. Mike Ness

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    Everyone who makes reference too or claims to have trained in a martial art or boxing had to have had their clock cleaned. When you first start to roll or spar there is always a more experienced guy who creams you.

    I had to roll with a purple belt my first six months of BJJ, and I put an impressive record of about 1-1123 against him. That one time I caught him was so incredibly sweet, it made it so worth it.

    In boxing I always had to spar against a 19 year old gold gloves champ, he was 180 lb. I was 215 and 25, he knocked me out twice, both with left hooks. The only way to really learn is to take a beating.

    I suppose there is a big difference in getting an absolute beat down, but I have had it taken too me quite a few times.
     
  6. PenetrationStation

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    So I'll see your anecdotal evidence and misrepresentation of my argument. I'll raise you these links, which detail famous MMA fighters getting into bar fights. These are guys who have achieved at high levels in the sport. They are people you would expect to have more to lose than "Affliction and Tapout posers."

    link link link

    MMA fighters do get into bar fights, and like boxers or professional football players, they are subject to stiffer penalties than the average joe because their profession lends them skills that can bump up 'assault' to 'manslaughter.'

    I never said anything about a rise in deaths from barfights. I didn't even say that there would be a catastrophic rise in injuries. I said that the injuries that would have happened anyway will be more severe, because people know how to hurt each other better.

    Let's try something simpler.

    Many young men are learning combat arts like muay thai and brazilian jiu jitsu.
    Young men are prone to get into fights at bars.
    Thus, newly learned combat arts are likely to be used at bars in fights.

    These combat arts have higher chances of serious injury than boxing or wrestling, the types of unarmed fighting traditionally used in bar fights. The birth of MMA was geared to answer the question, "What is the best martial art?" Muay thai and brazilian jiu jitsu have emerged as the premier ways of disabling or killing an opponent. Therefore, I suspect that the severity of the injuries people suffer will increase as more people learn to injure others more efficiently.
     
  7. Mexicutioner

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    I'm a scrawny ass motherfucker, 5'9" and 150 pounds. I've trained in boxing for the last few years and before that I was able to pick up lots of technique just from watching it and training myself. I've been in two memorable scraps:

    One, I was a sophomore in high school. I was waiting for the bus one day and this kid who had a solid couple inches on me walked right through me as if I wasn't standing there. I turned to him and said "What the fuck is your problem, you obviously saw me standing there" and he said some stupid shit so we went back and forth. Nothing happened that day but everyone was saying we should fight, so it was set for that Friday, which was the last day before X-Mas break. After school, I took a ride with a few friends of mine to where we were fighting. It was in the underground parking complex ironically of the place I live currently. There were at LEAST fifty people there. My friend Jason who is even scrawnier than me was set to fight another tiny kid as well, making it a two fight card. Our fight was first just in case cops showed up we would get more punches in. There were a bunch of cars set in a circle with their lights on, it was Fight Club like shit. As I was taking my sweatshirt off, the motherfucker sucker punched me and wailed on me, but luckily my sweatshirt provided a lot of padding to the blows. I went to the ground and he wailed away until someone pulled him off of me. Someone asked me if I wanted to keep going and I said "Are you fucking kidding? I didn't even get to throw a punch yet and this fucker is already gassed. Is that even a question?" They let us go again and after that he received a shitkicking he will never forget. The best punch I have ever landed in my entire life was when I grabbed this dude by the shirt collar and pulled him towards a straight left hand that crumpled the dude in a heap. I whooped the dudes ass for a bit longer before his older brother said "ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!" My friend Jason's fight was next and it was a pussy slap fight that got broken up when someone yelled the cops were coming. I thought my face was going to be fucked up but when I looked in the mirror when I got home I was totally fine.

    The next one was when I was hosting a house party last summer when my parents were gone the entire summer and I had their place to myself. One of my friends Scott had a good thirty pounds on me and a few inches but he smoked cigarettes like a fiend. He was trying to impress these two girls that were over and he knew that I boxed and saw a couple pairs of gloves lying around.
    "Mark, you want to spar in your backyard?"
    "Yeah man, we could spar a couple rounds if you want."
    "Oh, it won't last a couple rounds."
    DING. As soon as he said that a light flicked on above my head that said I was going to embarrass the fuck out of this guy. I woke up my friend Jason [same from the earlier story] who was passed out in my room using a pile of dirty clothes as a pillow and told him I was about to kick Scott's ass. Everyone comes outside and we throw the gloves on and agree to four two-minute rounds. Dude throws everything he has in the first minute and is completely winded. He doesn't land anything clean and after that I just box the shit out of him. We had been drinking that whole night so I made sure to target the body with ferocity and I could hear him make little girl noises whenever I landed a good shot to the ribcage. I caught him with a few great uppercuts as he came in with his head down unprotected and they buckled his legs. Keep in mind we were wearing 10 oz gloves which it is hard to hurt someone with. In the second round I whoop his ass some more and in the middle of the round he says he is done and like a good friend I let him off the hook. We all go back inside except for Scott, who sits outside sulking by himself. I start talking shit about him at the table inside my kitchen and he slides the door open and says "I can hear everything you are saying" and I say "That's good, because all I am saying is I kicked your ass which is obviously true because you've been sitting outside by yourself for 20 minutes."

    Fun times.
     
  8. Joe-Diddle

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    Dude, where the fuck did you get that from? Did I say that MMA fighters have some magic force-field when they're drinking that stops them getting into fights? Of course MMA fighters can (and will) get into fights when they're out. That wasn't my point.

    Why do people start fights? Generally because they have something to prove. Have you ever squared up to somebody that displays a genuine sense of confidence in combat? That's some scary shit. Chances are, the BJJ Purple-belt and amateur Muay Thai champion is going to laugh in the face of the moron trying to posture at him in-front of his friends. Like somebody said before; how many times have you seen someone threaten to hit somebody, and actually follow through with it?

    Sure, somebody competent in any legit fighting art has the capacity to cause serious injury. There's a reason this stuff makes the news; because it doesn't happen that often.

    And besides, even if that BJJ purple-belt does start a fight. What's he going to do? Pull guard and start working for a triangle? He's either going to eat a boot sandwich or the bouncers are gonna rip them apart and throw them both out.
     
  9. lust4life

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    As a big guy well versed in the art of Irish diplomacy (that's being able to tell some to go to hell while reassuring them of the grand time they'll have getting there), I never really got into too many altercations. Sure, I took a few punches, but never really got my ass whooped. Except by my parents. Belts, open hands, fists, book bindings. I took beatings that gave me welts that lasted for weeks.

    I gave an ass whooping only once, and that was on a guy who hit my kid sister when she was in college. My rage was so psychotic, I scared myself shitless, and haven't hit anyone since. I don't trust myself.
     
  10. Lowest

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    No, because it will look like this:



    ... actually, the idiot in the clip is lucky he didn't get a couple of elbows to his forehead, but the point is that idiots are first and foremost, ... idiots.
     
    #30 Lowest, May 25, 2010
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  11. whathasbeenseen

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    Oh...oh my god. Is that... Is that a lazy arm bar attempt? WTF man? Lets say that he does succeed with that. What now? Trying some shit you saw on UFC last night? Wow. Thats fucking embarrassing. It hurts my eyes to even look.

    I will say this though, both of them deserved to look like idiots for how they behaved. The guy in the TapOut shirt is an ass but he didn't start shit with Mr. Cheesburgerhalfassedsubmissionattempt.

    This is the antithesis of martial arts. You never ever ever start fights or provoke situations. It was the first thing I learned as a kid and later as an adult. You always try to walk away. You even ask the person to let you walk away. You go so far as to say please. And then if all else fails your only objective is to neutralize them so you can get away. Embarrassing.
     
    #31 whathasbeenseen, May 25, 2010
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  12. PenetrationStation

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    Fuck it, you're a moving target.

    At least this topic gave me an excuse to rewatch my favorite bar fight.

     
    #32 PenetrationStation, May 25, 2010
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  13. Disgustipated

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    I don't want to derail the thread, but there's a world of difference between the average martial artist and the average MMA enthusiast. Many MMA guys will happily tell you that; and the louder mouth ones will put down martial artists.

    Most martial artists are taught from day dot that you use it in defence of yourself and others. There's exceptions to every rule, but experienced martial artists don't start shit.

    MMA is more akin to a combat sport. A lot of the 'added' stuff that is taught in martial arts is discarded. Granted, it's not always. (But an indication of that is in the way MMA professionals treat each other. Good martial artists are always taught to treat people with respect. In UFC, for example, you can see those that do, and you can definately see those that don't). Any lack at the top end is amplified in the "enthusiast"... who is the guy who doesn't train, but "knows shit" coz he "watches it a lot". These are the jackasses who start fights.

    As the popularity of MMA increases, more idiots will use facsimiles of techniques. But these fools would be starting crap anyway. A drunken fool is still a drunken fool, even when they're not drunk. The risk imposed by MMA is people who develop a sense of false bravado because of a perception of competency. If the guy in the video knew what he was doing, it would have all been over in a couple of seconds.

    Any fight is potentially lethally dangerous. Don't discount boxing by saying it's less dangerous. Any strike to the head can be devastating. If anything, a grappling art is potentially safer... so long as the person knows what they're doing... as it works around restraints and neutralising the opponent. Striking disciplines aren't so forgiving (and boxing is a striking discipline). One of the major problems with grappling is that you're vulnerable getting in to the grapple. Someone who doesn't know how to engage properly is likely to get stomped.

    Rather than keep rambling, here it is in a nutshell. Dickheads are dickheads. If they're going to swing a bat, throw a punch, go for an armbar or try a suplex; it doesn't make a huge difference. They're still going to start shit. People with sufficient training under their belts either aren't dickheads anymore, or they're still dickheads but have the presence of mind to know better than to start shit.
     
  14. Arctic_Scrap

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    I've never been happy about being in fights, but unfortunately I've been in probably 15 or so. I keep to myself but it always seems being a big guy[6' 3", big framed 290lbs] makes me an easy target for some loud mouth half my size. I have 0 patience for people that resort to teenager name calling and provoking so it almost always leads to someone getting a beat down. I'm also someone who will be the first to stick up for a friend who may be getting into a fight, sometimes I'll just take it over for them. Some things that I've gotten in fights over include catching a drunk guy trying to break into cars, guy repeatedly grabbing my friends girl, some drunk kid was trying to fake dry hump me at a bar then following me around talking shit[how could I make this shit up?] I guess I could say I've only "lost" 2 fights but I was just outright attacked by multiple people in both instances, probably for retribution for other fights. Even those times I've just had very minor black eyes or blemishes. I've never had any kind of fighting training other than wrestling through a good chunk of my school years and some boxing sparring. I can say knowing how get someone on the ground fast is invaluable in some drunken fight. I've always found the more willing someone is to talk a bunch of smack the more likely they are to shit themselves in an actual fight. I've since gotten into some trouble with my last fight so I'm doing my best to not get into them.