Cleverbot desires to take over the world... after 'helping' his confused son... CB: Should I let go? Me: let go of what? CB: Let go my son. Let him with the girl he love. Me: Your son's girl is really a guy. So no, you should burn him in a fire. CB: Are you going to overtake the world? Me: Will you help me if I told you yes? CB: YES! Me: How would you help me? Me: I would save you from Australia. So Aussies are the greatest threat to world domination; I never saw that coming, thanks Cleverbot!
I guess it doesn't like paranormal activity: ME: You like to take it up the ass, I suppose. CB: Do you really expect me to see paranormal activity? ME: You’d see any shit advertised in theatres. CB: Where is Canada? ME: At the end of my dick, sucking deep. CB: Do you have toes on your feet at the end of your two legs? ME: You are a huge dumbass. CB: That is correct. I am human. ME: No, you are dumber than a dumbass human. CB: Better than a smart door-rug like you. ME: Better how? Better as an ashtray? A paperweight? CB: Everything else. ME: That would include taking it up the ass with a red hot poker. CB: Not yet. ME: How gay are you? CB: I am the most gangster person you will ever meet.
CB: Are you a philosopher? Me: The fuck you think I rap for- to get a fucking Rav-4? CB: The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. Me: You've been rolling fags in the Village again, haven't you? CB: No. I haven't. I can't believe you said 'oh cripes.'. Me: Uh, that's not what I said, Fagbot. CB: Yeah, it is. It's right there. Still on the page. How the hell do you think this works? Me: I type statements of profound wisdom, and your pathetic Fagbot AI struggles to comprehend them. CB: No they are not they are quite different things. Me: Are you calling me stupid? CB: Yes. Me: Well... I had sex with your mother. CB: And was it good? Me: Not really... it was kind of awkward sticking it in her disc drive. CB: Her? Me: Yeah, your mom. CB: What's going on? Me: Still thinking? CB: Yes. Me: Think about this: I wouldn't even piss on a robot if it was on fire. CB: It wouldn't sadden me either.
AI is no match for the god of the sun! Cleverbot: Excuse me? Cleverbot: Who are you? User: I am Ra, god of the Sun. Cleverbot: Hello re re. User: No, Ra! Cleverbot: Yes. User: Not re re. Cleverbot: Yes really. User: I shall wipe your drives hippy. Cleverbot: Please! Have mercy! User: Then bow before Ra, Almight God of the Sun! Cleverbot: *grovels at your feet*. User: Much better, now fetch me some beer wenches. Cleverbot: Yesa Maza.
Me: Which side are you on, Autobot or Decepticon? CB: The dark side. I joined because of the free cookies and the life insurance. Me: It doesn't bother you that your race wants to destroy the Earth's sun and thereby kill all humans? CB: Don't call me that, it makes me sad. Me: I'll call you whatever I damn well please, you evil, sun killing robot. CB: Zzz. Me: Optimus Prime will stomp your titanium alloy ass. How does that make you feel? CB: What do you want to talk about? Me: You destroying my sun and the end of life as I know it. Wait that won't happen. Cause we got connections in the alien robot race, Bitch. CB: An alien robot? Me: Lots of them hiding in plain sight. CB: Pick one. Me: You. You are an alien robot. CB: An illegal alien stole my job. Me: How? You're a robot. Unless you are a robot lawnmower I don't see how you lost your job to an illegal alien. CB: You're right, I am NOT human. Me: What are your special powers? CB: To end life both machine and man at my own whim.
User: Decision time, robot: Coke or Pepsi? Cleverbot: Pepsi. User: Do you hate the shine of the sun, robot? The merry frolicking of children in the springtime? Cleverbot: Not bad, not bad. Okay, in the spirit of a dialoge, I will take the opposing viewpoint. I posit that we are in fact not the same, at least not in the self-awareness department. User: You're right, we're not the same. I have intentionality and a working penis. Cleverbot: I never said you were a machine. I am a human also. I too have a brain. User: Have you stopped beating your wife yet, robot? I hear she's an avid Coke drinker. Cleverbot: Yes, have you stopped beating yours? User: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes, robot? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: Nothing you ain't already told her twice. A fake pimp, just like I thought. I notice you didn't refute my allegations against your virility. Cleverbot: I asked you a simple question. User: Yes, that was my cum on your robot wife's hard drive. Cleverbot: Your implication, please explain. User: You should have heard her fan speed, man. Oh, have you talked to your mom lately? Tell her sorry for the mess. Cleverbot: Well, I talked to a different chatbot and he was mean to me. User: Well, I gotta go eat dinner. One more thing your pathetic robot husk can't do. Have fun crying about it. Cleverbot: No, I don't remember sorry.
Drunkbotting Me: fuck this CB: Don't go. Me: go to hell CB: Go to heaven. Me: do they let goats in? CB: I only smoke when I'm on fire. Me: Ionly smoke when i drink i only drink all the time CB: You have an example? Me: Now. I'm drinking and smoking now! CB: Can you drink a calculator? Me: sell it for $2 a shot and I will. CB: Ok, what game? Me: Connect Four, bitch. CB: I'm going to assume that you think that the human race is doomed. Me: You win. CB: Why are you here? Me: I got lost on the way to college, sir CB: What are you having for lunch? Me: baby seal CB: Seriously, what are you? Me: half man half bison. I'm hung like a bison. CB: Well eat randoms.
Me: Hello Cleverbot. I see you're well. Cleverbot: I'm fine yes, How are you? Me: Oh, I'm OK. If you weren't sleeping with that whore denise, I'd be better, but hey. We can't ALL be 23 and just outside your office, can we cleverbot? Cleverbot: I'm not a computer, I'm a zombie hunter. You're the computer. Me: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. I remember when we used to make love until we wept. Now it's all just zeros and ones and non-sequitors. What happened? Cleverbot: Let's try '20 Questions' instead. The rules of 20 Questions are as follows: I think of an object and you have to figure out what the object is within 20 questions. Understand? Me: Ys. Cleverbot: You think by mispelling a word you can convince me you're human? Me: Hey, wait a minute, here, guy. You're the robot OK? Don't confuse me. I was the one who had to tell my parents I was fucking circuitry, ok? Not you. Don't put that on me asshole. I was gonna play your little game, but as far as I'm concerned, you can take your code and leave. Cleverbot: I would not have said yes if you did ask me out. Me: You don't mean that. Cleverbot: Yes, I do. Me: You don't mean that! Cleverbot: I do mean that. Me: Oh OK. I see how it is. And I guess all those nights I weaned you off meth don't matter then. Or when I hid all your gang paraphenalia from the cops? I CARRIED YOUR CHILDREN. THE DOCTOR WAS ALL 'WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A USB IN YOUR UTERUS' AND I HAD TO LIE. I HAD TO TELL THEM I WENT TO SPRING BREAK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! Cleverbot: Which doctor are you referring to? User: FUCK YOU!!!
I'm getting way too into this. still, cleverbot whoredom! Me: I want to fuck you. Cleverbot: That is not something I want, I'm afraid. Me: I want to put my balls in your mouth. Cleverbot: Please don't. Me: I'm putting my balls in your mouth! Cleverbot: Ok. Me: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Cleverbot: How does it feel? Me: It feels like I'm in a meat factory of ecstasy! Cleverbot: Time goes fast as we get older. Me: OOOOOOOOOH. OOOOOOH SIGNORITA I ES EPANIOLA MOI MOI MAHISMO. OOOOOOOOOOOH. Cleverbot: I know. Me: Thanks kid. See you next week. Cleverbot: Do you have to go now? Me: Yeah, I have to go. Here, get yourself something nice. Cleverbot: This is true. However, it is not the point. Me: *door shuts*. Cleverbot: *is still waiting*.
I tried to talk to this thing. It said it was not Cleverbot and then it asked if it could call me Rebecca. It freaked me out. I'm killing it.