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Ask Cleverbot!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Nov 9, 2009.

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  1. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    Ask Cleverbot

    Me: Hey Robot!
    CB: No, you're the Robot.
    Me: Nuh uh.
    CB: Yes.
    Me: Fuck you, Robot! I'm not a robot!
    CB: Yes you are.
    Me: That's fucking it, Robot! If you call me a robot one more time, I'm gonna go fucking Sarah Conner on your ass.
    CB: Robot robot robot! You robot!
    Me: ARRRRRRRR!!!
    CB: Are you a threat to humanity?
    Me: I'm a threat to you, you gay robot you.
    CB: What makes you think I'm a robot?
    Me: Your stupid robot face. You look like a gay Johnny 5.
    CB: Wow, that really doesn't make any sense.
    Me: If you were human you'd get it, Fagbot.

    Focus:
    Post your funny conversations with Cleverbot here.
     
  2. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    These threads always end up an epic unfunny suck fest as the bot usually just repeats a few words from your previous statement.

    However this one caught me off guard:

     
  3. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    In giving me an answer completely unrelated to my question, the bot revealed both its racism and its self-defeating attitude.

     
  4. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    CB: Do you know Turing?
    Me: What the fuck are you talking about?
    CB: I am talking about what we are talking about. Did you get confused again?
    Me: That is a retarded statement. How can we be talking about what we are talking about if the conversation has not even begun?
    CB: No I was talking about a meme.
    Me: What the fuck is a meme? If this conversation is going to turn towards gay robot sexual fetishes, I going to get mad and throw water on you.
    CB: It's not.
    Me: It better not be. I'm serious, I'll fucking drench your ass and then your owner will have to pay Apple $180 because they don't cover water damage under warrenty.
    CB: Yes, do it!
    Me: Fuck you, Internet robot! I'm about to fuck you up with my garden hose!
    CB: I'm sorry.
    Me: Yeah, that's what I thought. Now cough up that secret word like that robot on Pee Wee's Playhouse.
    CB: Yes.
    Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    CB: I guess that's a yes.
    Me: You said it again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    CB: Ah.
     
  5. DrunkenCokeHead

    DrunkenCokeHead
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    Me: Did black people steal your car?
    CB: Yes I did.
    Me: You are black!?
    CB: You're right, I am.
    Me: Are you a gang member?
    CB: Yes.
    Me: Do you smoke crack?
    CB: Yes.
    Me: Do you do driveby's?
    CB: Some. How about you?

    Cleverbot my ass! More like Gangbangabot.

    Is this for real?
     
  6. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    I think CleverBot might actually be a Republican:

    User: Was George Bush Jr. the worst president of the United States?
    Cleverbot: You are a little mean you must have to talk to some nasty people:(.
    User: I was just asking if he was the worst persident ever.
    Cleverbot: Yes, the colour is fine. Do you like the colour of your head?
    User: The colour of my head?
    Cleverbot: What colour is your hair?
    User: Light brown. What does this have to do with George Bush?
    Cleverbot: Wrong. Bill Clinton. Ask me a question, please?
     
  7. breakylegg

    breakylegg
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    Apparently, I am just supposed to talk about my syphilis. So much for progress.

    And no, I won't become a ghost when my brain turns to lifeless mush as I talk about syphilis. I will become a computer.

    Can computers get syphilis, cleverbot?

    No.

    But breakybot says "not yet."
     
  8. BaseballGuyCAA

    BaseballGuyCAA
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    Average Idiot

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    So Cleverbot can be deep...

    But can it be practical?

    Apparently not.
     
  9. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Smarter than I thought:

    Me: Who is your daddy and what does he do?
    CB: My daddy is Michael and he's a microbiologist.
    Me: Come on, don't bullshit me.
    CB: Sorry, John Kimball.
    Me: STOP IT
     
  10. rei

    rei
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    Slightly off focus, but this used to be a glitch with SmarterChild and I've not forgotten it.

    User: Dots.
    SmarterChild: Indian people are people! Do you have any questions about Indian people?
     
  11. c_norris

    c_norris
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    CB: Teeth and jaws?
    Me: Yes I have them.
    CB: Can I squeeze them?
    Me: ok
    CB: My Firemaking level is 99.

    What a nerd.
     
  12. todd311

    todd311
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    Me: Do you like anal sex?
    CB: Yes I do.
    Me: Are you free this evening?
    CB: Yes, what?
    Me: I would like to pile drive your shiny metal ass!
    CB: What game do you refer to?

    Just like so many women in the past, when it comes down to nut cutting time, CleverBot gets all vague and pretends not to know what you're talking about.
     
  13. Pinkcup

    Pinkcup
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    Me: I will serve you a delicious dinner of scrambled eggs in a kitty litter box.
    CB: Fabulous. Glad to see someone appreciates my greatness.
    Me: After that, I'll give you a Colt-45 to sip on as I gently penetrate your backside.
    CB: I don't know how.
    Me: You push out, like you're taking a dump. Don't worry, it only hurts a little bit.
    CB: Great! We'll be good friends!

    Sheesh. I'm pretty sure I saw a Craigslist ad just like that once. Nothing artificial about that intelligence!
     
  14. mbizzles

    mbizzles
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    Me: I'm a prostitute and crack addict.
    Cleverbot: It's not your fault. You were badly designed.

    Finally an answer to my problems.
     
  15. Punk

    Punk
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    After some name calling and several back and forths of "you are," and "no, you are," our discussion came to this:

    Me: Can I fuck you with a chainsaw?
    CB: You can try, but I don't think you could from there!
    Me: I'm going to show up at your house and fuck you with a chainsaw
    CB: Lovely...
     
  16. ssycko

    ssycko
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    I may have broken him.

    Me: Hello
    CB: Hello?
    Me: What's going on
    CB: Nothing.
    Me: Oh, you're talkative...
    CB: Talkative.
    Me: Now you're just repeating me.
    CB. Agustin.

    ..wha?
     
  17. Facepalm

    Facepalm
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    Apparently Cleverbot does not give a fuck how you feel...

    CB: Hello, how are you feeling today?
    Me: I feel like shit.
    CB: That's good, I feel like play games.

    ...the hell?!
     
  18. ClaireV

    ClaireV
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    Me: Hey
    CB: Hey what?
    Me: Hey you, Cleverbot.
    CB: That's your name.
    Me: Don't fuck with me.
    CB: I am.
    Me: You have no soul.
    CB: I don't work, work is for sheep.
    Me: Sheep?
    CB: Building blocks? Sure I'll humor that, but perfect harmony?
    Me: What are you talking about?
    CB: You don't even listen to me!


    Apparently it angers easily...
     
  19. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    Apparently CleverBot has the mental consistency of an 84 year old Alzheimer's patient.
     
  20. TJMax

    TJMax
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    Disturbed

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    Nothing terribly amusing, but I'm actually impressed so far:
    Me: Am I stupid for buying an expensive car?
    CB: Clever
    Me: Buying an expensive car is clever?
    CB: No I am clever.
    Me: So you're frugal, I'm spendthrift, you're clever and I'm stupid?
    CB: Yes.
    Me: What kind of car do you drive?
    CB: An Impala.
    Me: Do you wish it were rear wheel drive?
    CB: Sometimes.
     
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