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Discussion in 'All-Star Threads' started by shegirl, Jan 14, 2010.
No wonder Charlie Sheen married her.
Thank you for your detailed replies. This thread has been very interesting and informative.
I have a couple of questions for you that I haven't seen posted yet:
- From what who have seen/heard how long can the average girl work as an escort?
- Does the typical career last six months before they get burned out?
- At what age is a girl typically forced out of the business? I am assuming that the demand for girls that are 19 or 21 is greater than the demand for cougars in their 40s.
- When girls do leave the business, what do they do for employment? It is probably difficult to make the same kind of money that they were making as an escort. And they can't list being an escort on their resume if they are looking for a white collar job, which makes landing a mainstream job difficult.
You said your pictures went up on the website, and that you got your first call that same day. You also said you tossed around the idea for a long time before you actually committed to it.
What exactly was your "first time" like? Were you nervous as all hell? What was the aftermath? Was it "I can't believe I just fucked someone for money", or was it "that was awesome and worth every penny"?
Has this ever happened to you while ever with a client?
If so how did you deal with said situation? Did you crack up laughing while he flexed in the mirror? Or did you continue talking dirty to him as if everything was normal?
It's not about how long you can work, but how long you're willing to work. I would say the average is anywhere from six months to a couple years, though plenty of girls can't stand it after a month, and plenty others find the strength to do it for years. Burn out is visible pretty quickly, regardless of strength, though. I can already see some in myself on occasion, when I see the same problem client repeatedly. But overall, I truly enjoy my job and the possibilities it puts on the table. To my knowledge, no one is forced out of this business. As a girl ages, she has to adjust her look and target demographic, but there are definitely "mature" providers that are super popular. Teri Lyn is highly recommended in Atlanta, and she's somewhere around her late thirties or early forties, but she's been at the game for a while and she knows what she's doing. I can't speak for what other girls do when they leave. I have specific plans for my future and my post-college career, and since I'm a full time student right now, I have the perfect excuse to explain my employment gap. I don't know what girls who do this for a long term living do. You're welcome.
I was extremely nervous. I had no idea what the spiel was supposed to be, how to greet the client and ask for the money without actually asking for it and how to get started and all that. I lucked out and another girl from the agency was at the incall and ran through the details of what to do before my client got there. I didn't actually have sex with the first guy, I just blew him for thirty minutes. All I was thinking was, dear God, I don't think I can do this for 10+ hours a week. My jaw was extremely sore. My first client was atypical, though. Generally speaking, my experience is worth every penny, though it's not always awesome.
Both the bedrooms at our incall have mirrors in front of the beds, so we encourage clients to watch from all angles. One of my regular always moves a mirror around to watch. He even ripped the mirror off the bathroom wall at our hotel because he couldn't find another one in the room. I completely go along with him. Sometimes I think the showboating is funny, but it's not for me to judge, and I don't want to offend a client by laughing.
Guys ever try to talk their way out of wearing a condom?
Do you feel the need to pillow talk afterwards?
Plenty of guys do, and I refuse. If they push it, I tell them that I'm either not on birth control or that I'm on some sort of antibiotic that may block my birth control. Most guys don't push it, though - who wants an illegitimate child? I don't feel the need to chit chat post-coitus, but as I'm supposed to be providing the full GFE, if a guy wants to talk, I won't object. Some of them are pleasant to talk with, anyway.
Do you think you're kind of trying to rationalize the fact that you fuck for money?
I don't want to offend you, but you talk about this job (even sort of glorify it) and at the end of the day you're bending over for some middle-aged man who can't find a real pussy, and getting paid for it.
Do you think, in some form, that it is cognitive dissonance?
Enough of the same questions phrased differently...
1. Do you ever wish you had more clients like the Arm Pit guy? Not that they would have an odd fetish but that their wants wouldn't be so mundane and normal?
2. Is there a thrill associated with meeting/escorting for a new guy the first time around? Is it butterflies in the stomach or something different? Do you think about the encounter before you actually meet them or is it like punching a clock, you're not thinking about it until you punch in and start work?
3. You mentioned some of the women you know doing this are only after the next hot purse or shoes, etc. What percentage of escorts you know fall into this category?
Just to re-phrase it in a non-chick context, they're not paying to have sex with a chick, they're paying for them to go away afterwards.
The concept of "burn out" has come up several times in this thread and I was curious, burn out from what? I can understand that as a woman ages she might not be as desirable for this line of work so there would have to be, I would assume, a natural cut off for a profession such as this, but really, why quit at all? Why burn out? If there is so much control involved on your end from screening the clients to, basically, being able to even say no to some of them it seems like a pretty good deal.
I'm curious as to how you deal with having a bad day or being in a bad mood. What happens when you, are having the worst day ever yet still have to make appointments? I can have days like that but in my job I can just be bitchy and lock myself in. You can't do that so what do you do when you're having a shit day? I cannot imagine having to go blow someone I don't find attractive and make them feel all special on a day that I really just want to rock in the corner, chew on my hair and pluck out my eye lashes. Hell, I don't even want to give a blow to the one I actually care about on days like that.
I was just about to ask this. I marvel at your people skills if you are having a "touch-me-and-I'll-fucking-scream" day and you can still manage to successfully complete two/three appointments. Are you just a naturally happy people-person? Are most girls in your profession that way?
On a related note, do you feel like your client base prefers your "personality" (pillow talk, humor, ability to make them feel special) as much/more so than your sexual skills (not giving examples, you know what I mean)?
How big was the fattest guy you have had to fuck/blow so far?
Any uncircumcised guys yet? How did you feel about them?
I only ask because I care. This thread is awesome by the way. Thanks for putting yourself out there like this.
Sorry to everyone whose questions I have yet to answer. My home Internet is down, and typing on my phone is tedious. I'll be going to the library tomorrow to answer them. Thank y'all for your patience.
It took me a couple of days to decide to "decloak" and comment on this post. Not that I want to disagree with my fellow Canuck, and strangely enough fellow hooker, (mine is rugby hooker, not sex worker), but that is a very simplistic and almost insulting view. The middle-aged may be correct, but not finding real pussy is very wrong.
I will admit to being a client of sex-workers, SP's (Service Providers) i.e. escorts; and MA's (Massage Attendants) i.e. the good old rub n' tug. Do I not get sex in the rest of my life? Hell yeah I do, and in my experience most of the men who are frequent clients do as well. They probably get more than the average guy.
Why do they visit escorts? Well Nettdata wasn't far off the mark in that they are paying for them to leave after. A lot of guys haven't got an interest in cultivating relationships, or going out to try and find new "fuck buddies". They want a sure thing, with an attractive and willing partner, and they are willing to pay for it. They don't want the hassle of building a "relationship". They may also have a strong sex drive, and have the means to get it satisfied quickly when they feel the need.
Other cases they are paying for a fantasy or something that they don't get at home. I got involved more in the local escort scene because I found a segment that was into Group sex. We have a network of people who like to have threesomes and more-somes. Sometimes it is what would be called gang-bang, sometimes more like an orgy. It happens on a fairly regular basis, the girls get paid, and we all have a little fantasy for a couple of hours. This group is so in synch we even have strictly social events where members (clients and Escorts) just get together for Lunch, or after-work beers in a local pub. We just look like a regular bunch of office drones out with friends. Nobody would ever guess our real reason for associating.
Now as has been said before, I don't want to derail this thread. Maybe another thread is in order if people want to discuss "sex work" in general rather than Oh Shit's personal experiences. I just wanted to point out that I think the generalization made in the other post was a rather simple view of what is a complex situation.
I wonder how many pm's she just got offering tech services for barter?
Back on topic.
How would you handle going to an appointment only to meet someone from your non-work life. Maybe a Professor or former boss, or even more awkward your Student Financial Aid Adviser.
I don't feel that I'm rationalizing my job, or glorifying my field. I generally enjoy what I do [moreso than any other job I've held], I make good money doing it, and I'm at a point in my life where there's nothing preventing me from doing it. I see no forced rationalization there. There are certainly pitfalls. It takes someone with a specific psyche to do this and not get eaten up by it. As rom_l points out later, that characterization is often a bit off. The men aren't always middle aged, and plenty of them have a "well-rounded" sex life outside the money-for-sex industry.
I like the ones with normal wants. I'm pretty typical in my sexual desires, and while I'm perfectly happy to venture outside my norms, I'm just as happy to stay inside those boundaries, at least in my professional life. It makes my job that much easier. That being said, my favorite client is a bit outside my norm, with his over-the-top dominance, but he's... special to me. There's definitely butterflies, but it's not a thrill for me. It's a bit disconcerting, because I don't know what the new guy likes or how he acts. I've gotten so used to my regulars that any new ones kinda throw me off my game. I usually only get thirty minutes to an hour's notice before an appointment, so I don't have much time to consider the encounter beforehand. When I'm driving there, I'm usually thinking more about when the last time I shaved was, if I refilled my condom supply, does my hair smell good, et cetera, not the client themselves. Most escorts I know are either paying their way through school, like me, or legitimately trying to make some sort of living before they burn out. The one or two that I've met that are working to buy themselves pretty toys have been jaded ex-strippers looking to make better money. I have nothing against strippers. As a whole, I love them, and I love that they are the first ones to stand up for what I do. But occasionally you get the girl whose daddy didn't love her enough, so she dropped out of school and developed a coke habit or a shoe obsession, and she's just trying to make more money to fuel that. Those girls rarely hack it in an agency, because we're monitored pretty closely, and girls that just want the money for superfluous items have a diva attitude to go with their designer outfit. Those girls are the ones that post independently on Craigslist, and I have yet to meet any independents.
You're welcome, lovey.
It has nothing to do with the amount of control we have. Fucking for money can be very hard on us, both physically and psychologically. Especially psychologically. Eventually, most of us want to settle down and have a family, or at least a stable relationship. It's nearly impossible to have that in this field. There comes a time where the money isn't worth all the stress and stigma and solitude anymore.
That's the best thing about this job - I don't have to work if I don't feel like it. We don't have set availabilities or designated vacation or limited sick days. I check in with my boss by 9 AM if I want to work that day, so if I don't, I just don't call, or I tell her I'm having a shit day. Even if I feel crappy later in the day, I can just call off early. Now, if an appointment has been made in advance, I just have to soldier through it. I just tell myself to suck it up, because I might feel like shit, but I only have to work for an hour or two, and I'll have a couple hundred more dollars towards my dream car. It usually perks me up enough to get through the call.
Beyond what I said above about not having to work if I don't want to, since I try to be as accomodating as possible and rarely call out, I am a huge people person. At the end of the day, I either want to be left alone to watch tv or cuddle with one person that knows to shut up, but during the day, I want to talk to anyone and everyone and be around lots of people. I think most of my clients chose me based on my pictures and video (despite the video being the corniest bullshit-and-porno I have ever participated in - thank you, Aetius), but I think they return based on my personality just as much as my sexual skills. I'm so goofy and off the wall, and I remember details of their personal lives, so they're comfortable around me. I just have fun, and it rubs off on them.
I don't know his exact weight, but I would chance a guess of between 300 to 350 pounds. It was very awkward, because he wanted to 69, and I couldn't really stretch all the way over his stomach. Blowing him while he was standing up was even more awkward for me, though, because his stomach was constantly rubbing/hitting against my head. I see a lot of uncircumsized guys - a surprisingly high number, in fact. I'm completely fine with it, so long as they maintain acceptable levels of hygiene. My last long term boyfriend was South African, and I'm under the impression (Durbanite, correct me if I'm wrong) that circumcision is not a common practice there. So for nineish months plus on and off for eight months after we broke up, I saw his dick on a regular basis. No biggie. I think it's cute. I like to play with penises in my personal time. Don't judge. You're totally welcome.
I don't think you've derailed the thread at all; in fact, I appreciate the contribution. I feel that you've explained why a lot of men use adult services better than I've been able to. Many of these men are not perverts [in a derogatory sense], deviants, or losers. Some of them are in some sort of relationship, casual or otherwise, and use our services to supplement that. Others just don't have the time or inclination to maintain a "typical" relationship, and they'd rather simply pay to get it when they want it without any fuss afterward. Like I said before, almost everyone pays for sex in some fashion or another. These men are just being upfront about it.
Since clients normally view us online before they book us, someone from my personal life would know they were getting with me, and I'm guessing [and hoping] they would come to terms with any awkward feelings before booking me in the first place. As for any awkwardness or nervousness on my part, I'm not bothered. I don't particularly care if a professor or former employer finds out firsthand - they're in no position to sneer at what I do if they're using the services.
What car do you want to buy?
First off, thanks for taking the time to do this.
My question is how does the actual meet up work...as in who starts things off? How does it start off? Pretty much how does the normal visit go.