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Ask a Planned Parenthood employee

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Jun 11, 2014.

  1. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Encourage them to swallow

    You don't say.

    The people AudreyM is chatting with may be getting knocked on for asking stupid questions . . . but, they are the ones bold enough or curious enough or actually interested in getting information. Think about all the idiots who don't.
     
  2. lhprop1

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    If that's your opening line when meeting guys, you will never be alone.
     
  3. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Step 1: Find out what "IUD" stands for.
     
  4. xrayvision

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    Excuse me. I believe it's called an IED. Thankyouverymuch.
     
  5. Danger Boy

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    They're putting IED's in womens' vaginas now? Those sick fucks.
     
  6. shimmered

    shimmered
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    whatever you do, don't google fistulas.





    Audrey, when someone calls you who's been the victim of sexual assault and is terrified to report because of the consequences afterward, how do you handle that?

    I want to punch this bitch in the throat.
     
  7. xrayvision

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    It seems to be an effective method of birth control.
     
  8. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Boom

    There's a hurt locker joke in there, but I'm too lazy to make it.
     
  9. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Seems like members of the board can use your services Audrey.

    I wrote it meaning birth control goes in the butt. Haha funny (well I thought so). But realized it could be taken either way as typing it. So I just decided to, you know, ride it out.

    Question: Can a 44 year old still get pregnant on regular cycles if her husband has had a vasectomy? My friend wants to know.

    I hate that I have to write it's a joke, but it's a joke!
     
  10. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    That is actually a sore subject. The short answer is no, more or less. I am the lowest level of manager for the program and ALLEGEDLY part of my job is to have that input and I have been trying really hard to take advantage of that but it has not exactly been working. The program is only about three years old and none of the people who actually make the decisions about it have ever worked on the program itself and come from an education background instead of a communications background and that is made frustratingly clear all the time. The place is not immune to bullshit office politics.

    I don't know, it just isn't. I mean, each center has their own phone line, but that's primarily for making appointments. I think part of the reason why it's successful is exactly because it isn't over the phone. Do you know how much people don't want to talk on the phone these days? These kids make it sound like we're requiring they slit their grandma's throat when we tell them they need to call their local center to get the policy or pricing information or to make an appointment.
     
  11. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    We have to kind of dance around conversations like these because we aren't qualified for counseling along those lines. We refer them to RAINN, which has a similar chat line, for the more emotional after-effects of assault and do as much as we can to steer the conversation more towards how we can help on the health side of things (emergency contraception and post-exposure prophylaxis if it's early enough, or pregnancy/STD testing if it isn't).

    Edit: And yes, I too want to punch that bitch in the throat.
     
  12. gamecocks

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    Stairs and vodka. Legitimate option or yet another apparent lie I was told in school?
     
  13. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Question:

    If you fuck the neighbor's cat, and the cat is changing birth control pills, is it possible for the cat to get pregnant?
     
  14. xrayvision

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    Are you asking for you or a friend?
     
  15. Misanthropic

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    If it does, it wouldn't take very much vodka, or a very big flight of stairs, to remedy the situation.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Yeah, don't listen to S.E. Cupp about anything, ever. She's as stupid a fuck as as they come. She dispenses all this "advice" while being actually experienced in nothing. She is a fucking Art History major who talks down about everything. Fuck her in her gouged-out eye sockets.

    Audrey: do people ACTUALLY use dental dams? Because I just do not get that.
     
  17. xrayvision

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    Sir. How dare you besmirch my beautiful yet stupid neocon queen. Granted, she may be wrong about everything but goddamn...

    [​IMG]
     
  18. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I think lesbians might.

    But I don't think anyone expects people to actually use them, no.
     
  19. downndirty

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    Has working there changed your own sexual behavior, or your coworkers? Does it make you more paranoid about STD's/unwanted pregnancy?
     
  20. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I don't think it has. If anything, I've become really blase about STDs and abortion because it's just what I sit and talk about all day every day. Not to say that I have less safe sex now than I did before, and I'm sure if either ever happened to me I would indeed still think it was the end of the world forever, but they've just become totally mundane topics. And the people who are so incredibly paranoid about sex are waaaaaaaayyyy much more annoying to deal with than the people who are not paranoid enough about sex, so I think that tends to rub off on us for keeping things in perspective. (I don't understand why these people are even having sex if they get that manic over it every single time.) I think we all had pretty healthy attitudes towards sex before we started the job, too. It's not like we're going to end up hiring people who have unprotected sex all the time OR people who think sex is precious and/or terrifying. (...not like that's part of the interview, or anything. It's just kind of a self-selecting group of people.)

    It is kind of amusing, though, to hear about everyone's experiences with how other people's ideas about their sexual behavior are affected by finding out they work with PP. Half the time guys think it must mean I'm super slutty and half the time guys think it must mean I'm an uptight prude. (So whenever it's the latter I have to convince them it's the former EYYYOOO)