To clarify, I'm a bit of a world Gypsy. I'm Canadian, but have lived in Norway, the UK and now Australia- and I've experience in the Fetish lifestyle in The US as well. Pro Dommes exist in abundance in the US- and my statements on who visits them remains more accurate then your own earlier assumption that you had to be famous or suffering an identity crisis to visit one. I was not disputing that pros wre a minority in a minority at all. [/quote] And there is no shame in that at all- but again, if you could please focus on adding your personal experience only, and NOT on making sweeping statements about a sub culture you have only limited exposure to, we'd appreciate it!
Do you think the Richard Gere/gerbil thing is true? Do pet stores get suspicious if you buy rodents in bulk?
Not at all. 90% of my coworkers have been boring nerds. There might be a slightly higher then average representation of IT types at fetish events, but since so much of the organization and community communication happens on the internet - I think that's a bias from the medium rather then the fetish. I move through polite smiling and nodding, ignoring, pointing and laughing and baiting and taunting them depending on how annoying they are. I know some goreans who aren't incredibly infuriating, although they're in the minority. They also tend to stay more online then play in the real world - so they're easy to avoid. This is one of those questions that varies so much. I know lots of people who wear collars and it doesn't mean shit about who they can and can't talk to and they'd probably be quite upset if people assumed it did. There are even people who wear 'Dominant' collars - tops/dominants who wear big spiked collars because they're fierce - grr. Generally you can make some assumptions from body language/demeanour about how socially approachable they are. If someone has a lead hanging from their collar - there's probably an improved chance that you should talk to the person holding the lead first, or ask them if they have permission to talk to people. If you're not sure - asking someone if they have permission to chat is generally a pretty safe bet. Being a girl also makes it a safer approach - Most people are less uptight about girls and that sort of thing. Guys, especially single guys are more likely to be seen as trying to make a move rather than trying to make friends Yes. Eww. He didn't want me to change him so whatever. But eww. It's pretty rare for perverts to call the cops about something like a weirdo. Frankly - nobody wants the cops coming to a party where half the crowd or at least part naked and the rest of the crowd is in fetish gear. Almost every publically advertised event has some kind of dedicated security and most private parties filter morons before they know the address. Mostly the host or security, or one of the bigger guys in attendance will politely ask the weirdo to fuck off if they become a problem. I've known of guys being firmly told to fuck off or else. When a very large man who gets a hard-on when you hurt him tells you to fuck off or he'll kick your head in - it's a fairly rare and exceptional weirdo who'll hang around. Add in that at a fetish event, at least half of the people there have a big bag full of shit to hurt you with? You've got to be a pretty exceptional headcase to cause a problem and not take the hints that you should leave now. Guns are very uncommon here - so there's very little chance of a guy going and pulling a gun out of his glove box and going all Columbine on the kids who didn't like him. Occasionally the cops do get called when somebody is a problem and is for whatever reason not a good candidate for being asked to leave/thrown out. But I can think of like 2 parties in all the events that I've been to where that happened. No. Although I'm sure some idiot has tried to replicate the myth and had a very predictable disaster. And yes, I imagine pet stores would get suspiscious if you bought rodents in bulk. Why the fuck would you want 20 rats?
This is a really limited view of shit. Collars are often a mark of reasonably significant relationship. Like those irish rings that Buffy made popular or a wedding/engagement ring or one of those charm necklaces with half a heart. But it runs the gambit from having a whole bunch of meaning and implied rules that strangers have no way of knowing through to just being a decorative ornament. Some dominants wear collars because they feel like it. You can infer meaning from things like wearing a collar and a leash, or wearing a collar and having very withdrawn social context or body posture. But it's all just assumption and unless you're confident making the assumption (which is usually pretty easy - if somebody is aggressively socially outgoing - it's safe to talk to them. If they're not - maybe you should start with 'I like your collar, are you allowed to chat or do I need to ask someone's permission first?' which 90% of the time will be unnecessary, but is still polite. This just seems like you have limited exposure to the active real world scene to be honest. Pro Dommes get a shitload of work from guys for a bunch of reasons. Nikki covered the details - but I'd have a hard time justifying pro's as being a dismissable minority. Pay to Play professionals are a big part of the scene and the professionals who are involved in the community are a large part of why the social community works. They have the time and expertise and business necessity to drive an elevation of skills and access to materials that otherwise wouldn't be available to the broader scene. I'm trying hard to not pick a fight - because I don't want to be the douche who insists that he's right and everyone else is wrong - but honestly it seems like your exposure to kink is pretty fucking limited. I get that the majority of people, and apparently you want the after care with snuggles and closeness and shit. But it shouldn't be a difficult concept to wrap your head around that some people want some space to process the endorphin high or the sensation wash from what they've just done. I'm not sure if you're projecting a humiliation fantasy or if you've had a really weird experience - but honestly, I think that's the most wildly inaccurate, baseless and utterly wrong assessments of Nikki that I've ever seen. I can't imagine anyone being further from the truth about how Nikki interacts. I'm just staggered at how far from reality that is. I can't imagine what on earth gave you that idea. Fetlife.com isn't intended to be a personals website. It's intended to be a facebook style resource for perverts. Social networking with your existing friends and information exchange. Comparing it to Alt.com is just a bad comparison. I think Alt is a dreadful pile of shit and all of the former Various Inc (Alt, AFF, etc), now penthouse personals sites are incredibly overpriced, tacky and usually pointless unless you're a single guy looking for masturbation material. Any actual benefit they give kinksters is incidental. I think fetlife.com is incredibly easy to use - if you use it as intended, for social networking - not as a pickup point. I think facebook is a shit way to meet potential partners as well - but that's not the primary function. And Facebook is clearly a big part of the inspiration behind the core functionality of fetlife. If you want a better personals site - try <a class="postlink" href="http://www.collarme.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.collarme.com</a> - it's currently probably the best of the personals sites. An active dress requirement. If guys in Jim Bean t-shirts and jeans get in the door - it's rarely a good venue. Most venues have a minimum of full black and prefer fetish outfits. You can also take a fair estimate about quality by the number of attendee's listed in the events section of fetlife. Good clubs almost always have a pretty decent list of people signed up to go before the event. After that - you need to crowd source your information like you would anything else. The more popular something is, the more people will shit on it. You need to then do some basic logical assessments to figure out if the people shitting on it are a quality source or if the presumably larger number of people supporting it are more plausible in their support. Once you've gone to the venue - look around. See if there's any kind of social filter - rules posted on the walls about appropriate behaviour and safety, a visible host who's meeting people at the door or someone who's introducing new people around. The amount of casual chat is usually a good indicator - nobody talking to anybody is usually a bad sign. No play but lots of talking isn't a fantastic indication and lots of play and lots of people being social is probably the best indication that it's a fun event. Fundamentally - it's a fetish event. You're usually going to have to toe dip to get an idea of what it's going to be like unless you can make friends with someone who's a good person who already goes to the parties. This is one of those 'Wow' moments that just makes me wonder how much actual experience you have? I mean wow. I've got friends through the bible belt and I've played in a couple of the southern states on past visits. Pro's were as common in my interactions there as they were anywhere else and like everywhere else, a major part of the scene. Speaking of wow statements. If you honestly think that sex workers of any variety primarily cater to the married, middle aged, middle classed - I can only recommend you get some more actual exposure to the community to see how it plays out in the real world. Because you're just so far off base that there's no point trying to explain why you're wrong. This is true pretty much every where. Pro Domme's are a niche market catering to a specialist community. For every pro domme - there's a shitload of hookers and strippers doing more mundane things. Because there's more guys looking to get their dick sucked, then their dick spanked. It's the assumption that pro dommes are a dismissable minority in the BDSM community that's really objectionable and your assumptions about who their clients are that's really off track in a way that suggests that you need to get out more.
OK, Nikki just opened my world up via PM. Cunt kicking. Do you wear shoes? How much of it is grinding your heel into a clit, and how much is literally putting the tip of your boot into her vag? OH just had another thought! Have you ever seen anyone have sex with feet? Like, anal penetration using a left foot/both feet? VAGINA SEX WITH FEET?! What about protection? I wouldn't want foot germs inside me under any circumstances. I can't imagine condoms are very effective when stretched over feet and rubbing against the sharp edges of toenails. But.....um......socks? No, that can't be right.
Yes I wear shoes to kick genitals- of either variety-I don't want to hurt my feet! What to do depends on the person, but light bouncy taps, full out, lift-them-in-the-air kicking, stomping, grinding, treading lightly- all are fun! I've never inserted boots into orifices until they have been properly licked clean though (hygiene is a virtue! ). Bare toes are best for ball-crushing, though. Feels more organic. Insertion of the foot is referred to as "foot fisting"- I guess because "fisting" is already well known, and "footing" sounds odd- and would be too easily confused with many other activities of foot fetishists (which is a world of it's own!). I've never inserted a whole foot, though I have seen it done to a very very dainty Japanese girl once- was amazing to see, but my thighs cramped from clenching them so tight in sympathy for the girl.They did not use a condom, but he did wash his foot first. (I'm amused at the idea of socks- picturing a big burly Dom dude wearing those striped toe socks)
A friend of mine happened to come across this last night (no need to know what my, I mean, her search words were). Enjoy! NSFW http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=d36ff39beb79d2a0f43e&utm_source=Extremetube&utm_medium-Traffic_Trade&utm_campaign=Extremetube_Trade_Box3
About 50/50 to both questions. Some people get off on the boot. Sometimes you're barefoot when you decide that somebody needs a kick in the box. Grinding the heel into someone's clit is rarely as easy as it sounds - usually you want to see her face, so it's more rolling weight from your heel to your toe and grinding the sole of your shoe/foot into the sensitive bits. Like fisting, you want very clean feet with no cuts (or athlete's foot) and very well filed nails. But yes it happens.
Hey, look what I just ran across! Theoretically NSFW, but just barely. Edit: I used the search function to find this thread, I thought it was dormant in permanent threads, didn't realize it was dead in general discussion. Whoops.