Insomnia and infomercials go hand in hand. Although I've seen most every infomercial, the only thing I've ever bought off there was a Snuggie while completely wasted. It has the smell of processed plastic, is entirely too short for my 6'6 frame, and is as soft as a sandpaper. Focus Infomercials. What are your favorites? Review any of products you've purchased.
I've never bought anything from an infomercial, but I can't tell you how many time's I've seen the Magic Bullet infomercial, I know it pretty much scene for scene. I almost feel like I owe it to them to buy it considering how many hours of entertainment they've provided me.
I bought the complete Time/Life Benny Hill collection on VHS when I was in 8th grade. I think it was mostly for the nearly naked dancing girls.
My aunt buys everything she sees on tv. She's got it all; the snuggie, the shamwow, oxyclean (before it was sold in stores), the scratch out shit, and when I went to college she bought me the magic bullet. I have never used it but from what I remember it worked pretty well when some ladies I knew used it to make margaritas. I can't stand the damn infomercial. The blonde lady annoys the shit out of me. Just knowing that my aunt spent money in support of this product chaps my ass.
Greatest infomercial in the history of the world. It had to happen, and it actually did. Ladies and gentleman I give you spray paint for bald people.
Remember this fucking thing? Am I the only one who thinks this is an incredibly unsafe chunk of shit? The last line of this one is the greatest thing I've ever heard: This, however, is pure awesome:
DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOCK THE RONCO!! My wife and I got one for a wedding present and we actually use it fairly frequently. I have always been a fan of the GT Express 101. I can't find the orginal on youtube, but one of the big selling points is that it allows for a healthier lifestyle. For example, when you want breakfast on the go, instead of getting it from a fast food joint, you can make it at home. Which Cathy Mitchell then proceeds to do, using bacon, eggs, cheese, and biscuit batter. Glad we got a healthy alternative there, Cathy. That and I know that I like to put a mini Snickers Bar in my chocolate-cake-desert-for-one.
I used to watch the old Miracle Blade with Chef Tony and Little Giant Ladder infomercials several times a week in high school. Also, the Gazelle with Tony Little was pretty sweet. My parents have one, but I'm not sure how they got it, because they didn't order it. I think their neighbors gave it to them last year, because they never used it. My mom had never heard of it when she got it.
The Gator Grip I bought one of these a long time ago. It didn't have the weird handle, though, and was just a 1/2" socket. The second time I used it while working on my car, the thing exploded, shooting spring-loaded pins all over the place. One hit me in the eye.
I don't specifically remember the lady being annoying, but I was very appreciative at the time that they went with a more relaxed, natural infomercial instead of the standard infomercial which features an overaggressive, screaming host pimping a cheap product backed by cheesy testimonials and limited time offers that are always available and ending just before they expire. Spare me. I have no idea how they actually sell anything with that nauseating strategy. Focus: Seeing those motherfuckers jumping around at a football game in those overrated blankets sets me into fits of laughter. My ex-gf's mom actually bought me one, and yes, I do use it despite it's offputting odor and barely soft felt texture. God I hate infomercials.
This infomercial saved me hours of trying to catch a glimpse of a boob between the static and horizontal roll of the scrambled porn channels.
The HD sunglasses are bullshit. Seriously? Some sunglasses are going to help me see in HD? As if the world we view through our eyes is pixelated?
With my summertime insomnia I've had the pleasure of catching late night infomercials for The Encore Revive Premium system. I have no idea how this guy can keep a straight while talking about it. One thing I do know is a rubber band around your finger for a long enough time causes it to turn purple and start to tingle, you can probably imagine where this is going. This thing puts a rubber band on your junk after it gets you hard from some vacuum action. It is supposedly tight enough to hold all the blood in to keep an erection. Now I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure you would want circulation to your manhood at all times?
That shit's legit. I got one by a different brand, but same basic principle. It's kind of a bitch to clean (ok... not that bad, but you can't just throw it in the dishwasher) but I use it like crazy. Especially while making salsa. I love me some homemade salsa.
Whenever I fall asleep with the TV on all night I wake up in the morning convinced that I need whatever the infomercials are trying to sell. A few days ago I woke up wanting some debt elimination program, and I once woke up convinced that I needed a total gym. Infomercials are fucking retarded when I watch them while I'm awake, but for some reason my subconscious thinks they make perfect sense.