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...And I'm taking back my linens!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Supertramp, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    My friend Jay is a pretty ruthless guy when it comes to sexual conquest, he never does anything really immoral but he doesn't really care if the girl is vulnerable emotionally or anything. Last Halloween Jay convinces a girl who has just gotten out of a relationship to take him back to her dorm room, both of them are absolutely drunk and horny. At the dorm room the girl refuses to have sex because, and I quote, "I don't wanna be a whore", but she blows him anyway.

    Jay wakes up to the sound of a door being pounded repeatedly the next day and he is completely dazed and bushy-eyed because of the previous night's tequila shots. He is completely naked and slips on his jeans and answers the door (note: I have no idea why he'd answer her door) and see's a guy in the hallway. The guy's eyes just widen and a look of horror appears on his face when he sees this half naked drunken guy answer the door. Jay, however, still doesn't realize that this guy could potentially be dangerous, so he is completely aloof and courteous (well as courteous as you can be when you drunkenly open someone else's door and invite a guest in). The girl wakes up at this moment and asks very softly for Jay to exit the dorm room for a minute.

    This is where it gets absurd. After 5 minutes of screaming the guy exits the room crying WITH ALL THE BEDSHEETS CLUTCHED IN HIS ARMS. Jay looks back in and see's the bare bed and asks what's up. Turns out that they had just broken up, she was actually a cheater. Also those were super-expensive Egyptian linens that the boyfriend had gotten for her birthday, covered in Jay's bodily fluids, that he was carrying.

    I was with Jay the night of, and he called me as as soon as all this happened. My only question here: How is Jay still alive?

    Focus: Do you cheat? Did you cheat? Have you been cheated on? Those stories are always interesting so don't be shy to share.
    Sec. Focus: What's the most absurd immediate post-breakup item you've demanded back? I know someone who asked for some jewelery that he gave as a gift back, we don't like drinking with him because he never pays.
     
  2. Subito

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    Do you really need that question answered?
     
  3. Crown Royal

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    BA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! GOLD. Fuck is he lucky. That sort of shit can get people killed in crime of passion situations. At least the poor schmuck had the good sense to take his linens back, weird as it may be. I guess he needed the sheet back to cry into, but he may get a lil' salt in his eye from the sounds of it. Hopefully "Jay" didn't eat too much celery the day before.

    FOCUS: I've never cheated, though in my single life I slept with multiple girls sometimes (officially avoiding "relationship" territory- strictly sport fucking). I was only cheated on once, and like I mentioned before I wrote the word "NEXT" on her front lawn with Castrol XLR motor oil in ten foot capitol letters.
     
  4. taste_my_rainbow

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    Focus: I've only cheated on one guy. It was the Fall of '07 and we had been dating since January... he live about 4 hours away and I would go up every three weeks or so. Our sex life started out a little stale and instead of getting better, we eventually just quit having sex all together. Well, I like sex everyday, multiple times if possible, so I was a walking textbook example of sexual frustration. I'm a pretty smart girl and I know that if he isn't fucking me, he's fucking someone. A quick check of the number of condoms in his nightstand indicated that some, were in fact, missing. He asked me to get something out of his gym bag one morning and I found condoms in there too. I guess I should have just broken off things with him and went on my way, but I thought he was "the one" so I kept my mouth shut. He canceled his trip down to see me on my birthday in Nov & I cheated. I broke things off just after Christmas (no I wasn't holding out for a gift, we were going to exchange that weekend) and he was actually more upset than I was.

    Sec Focus: I took everything from an ex's apartment that I had paid for. Applesauce? Check. Soap? Check. Shower Curtain? Check. Light bulbs? Check. The list is long and most of it I threw away because it was ugly, manly stuff that he picked out (seriously, who wants a shower curtain with bass on it?).
     
  5. kl1985

    kl1985
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    I've never cheated.

    But on my birthday last year, I went home with someone that I had been (very) casually seeing for awhile. Well, it turns out he was already in a year-long relationship. It was interesting because he had even talked about her, telling me that they broke up a few months ago, were still friends, shared custody of their dog, etc. She showed up the next morning, which made things very awkward. I had no idea he still had a girlfriend and would have never gotten involved with him if I knew that. The girl had a key, so she just came into his apt. and woke us up. The weird thing was that she remained extremely calm, like she wasn't surprised (maybe it had happened before). She asked me why I hadn't looked through his closet - I guess she kept some clothes in there. Sorry, but I'm not a psycho like that. While I quickly gathered up my stuff, she made her boyfriend apologize to me.

    I actually felt pretty horrible about it, even though it wasn't my fault - just made me feel dirty. Cheating sucks, no matter what.
     
  6. kuhjäger

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    Focus

    To say I cheated would be an understatement. Never on Jägerette mind you, however, once I started college I was unstoppable.

    If there was a chance to get any sort of pleasure, I was there and willing.

    My freshman year I had an at home girlfriend, and she was hidden to all the girls I was with that year. Most of them were just casual hookups, however at one point I was in a relationship with another girl at school, as well as with the one back home. Part of me felt bad ass. I was at that 18yo narcissistic place where that sort of thing seems awesome. I went back home several times in the relationship and was always the doting boyfriend which I always imagined assuaged me of guilt.

    The next year was the same. I was in and out with various girls with a girl back home. Nothing relationship level until early winter semester. At that point I was in a relationship with 3 girls at once. 1 at home and 2 girls as school.

    That was the turning point.

    I realized, I was dividing my time between 2 girls on campus a dorm building apart, and a girl back home which was difficult.

    Again, at that point in my life I was 19, and thought I was bad ass. It is the easier way to look at things as a guy in college. Look at all this pussy I am getting I thought.

    However then a friend of mine who was a girl got cheated on, and I saw what it did to someone. Until then my philandering had been me being a bad ass with no side effects.

    Then I saw first hand what it could do to someone.

    Maybe it was honorable what I did, end each relationship before someone found out, to save them from heartbreak.

    Or, maybe I ended them to never have to face the shame of being found out. This is the more likely answer.

    I am not proud of what I did to these girls even though they don't know now, or will ever know.
     
  7. PIMPTRESS

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    You sound like a real catch, with the blow, cheating and apathy.

    I've cheated and felt like an asshole. No bueno.

    I was cheated on once. I didn't make a big deal of it, it wa actually hilarious.

    He cheated on me in Sturgis, came home crying about it.It wasn't his fault, he was so drunk!

    I dumped him immediatly. Later I was treated to pics of this "conquest." She was around 40,looked 60, was missing teeth, the whole biker hag bit.

    Hahahahaahahaha.
     
  8. hiphopguru

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    I wouldn't mind a bass shower curtain... It's better than the fucking rubber duck print that hiphopgurette has hanging in my bathroom now.

    But yeah i've cheated, albeit it was when I was like 15-16 so I doubt that the relationships would've endured the tests of time. I've also been cheated on and I think that now that i've grown older and developed some kind of moral code it'd why I realized how shitty it is.
    Even if you don't have an emotional attachment to someone, having them cheat on you still is embarrassing and just all around a shitty situation.
     
  9. ghettoastronaut

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    I've never cheated. Don't plan on it, either. For the last little while, me and the girlfriend have gone eight months on, then four months of separation. It sucks, but it's my job, so.

    Question - during these times of four months off I get to spend time with people who are cooler and have more fun than my normal cast of extras. I'm really not much of a club-going kinda guy, and being white I am incapable of dancing in the first place, but I frequently see guys who are also away from their significant others (more usually fiancees and wives than girlfriends), and dancing with girls in clubs; and you know that dancing in clubs is more groping and grinding than actual dancing. I've always thought that came across as kinda sketchy. Mind you, at the same time, you run a good chance of running into those girls' boyfriends at the club. Makes me wonder; am I just uptight and weird about a generally accepted behaviour, or does someone else think that would cross one of their lines?
     
  10. breakylegg

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    Cheating doesn't exist for me--if I am into the girl I will not give in to others. If I am "otherwise inclined" then it was never cheating in the first place.

    If she fucks around I either care or I don't. If I do, it's done and I move on. If I don't, we fuck. Not to say I haven't hurt or had my feelings hurt. That happens.
     
  11. ssycko

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    I just said it in rep, and I want to say it again: You are an awful person.

    I've never cheated on anyone. I've hooked up with girls in relationships, but hey, if you're going to cheat, it might as well be with me. I'm not sure where that puts me on the morality scale if I'm opposed to cheating but okay with helping cheating.
     
  12. jets22

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    But it's only cheating if you're grindin' to R&B. If it's just that house music, it's no big deal. You're just feelin' the beat, you know?
     
  13. Crown Royal

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    Sounds like he has a Swamp Hag Fetish. I'll have you know, this is a major problem amongst us men nowadays and we're very sensitive about it *sniff*. I mean, why the fuck else would they allow Gretchin Carlson or especially Lady Gaga's face to be shown on TV?!? One glance from either of those horrifying bitches could open a garage door.

    Oh, and Ballsack, if what you're saying is actually true you may want to slow down on taking your love to town with your imaginary girlfriends before your constant "skiing" turns your dick into a permenetly limp lightswitch.
     
  14. Beefy Phil

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    #14 Beefy Phil, Dec 28, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  15. effinshenanigans

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    I've been on both sides.

    As a cheater--and when I was thinking like a fool--I had the same opinion of the situation as Jager did in his early phase: this is awesome. At one point, I had sex with one in the morning, and the other that night. It was empowering for all the wrong reasons. Once I pulled my head out of my ass and realized that I was hurting someone terribly in ways they didn't even know, I ended the relationship myself. She was a really good girl and she didn't deserve me. I lied about why because I didn't feel like throwing salt in the wounds. I still feel bad about it to this day and it happened 3 years ago.

    As the one being cheated on, I basically discovered that she enjoyed being bumped, set, and spiked by the guy's volleyball team. Not much else to the story there. Fuck that bitch.
     
  16. falconjets

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    In high school I met a girl midway through semester in class who had a bf for four years. We started hanging out, just as friends at first but there was a lot of sexual tension. This was back when I had morals (trying to regain them slowly at this point) so I had decided that I wouldn't do anything with her until she was single. She had said she was over the relationship but it had been such a part of her life that it was taking some time to break up with him. Eventually they did, but about three days later they got back together so I said fuck it I'll give the morals a rest they've been working really hard and need some time off. Well from there on she came over a lot because "she needed help with math". After I went to college they broke up and me and her ended up dating for a while but things ended eventually. The miraculous thing about this was that for 6 months in high school only about five people in the school had any idea this was going on. Even after when I was in college only ten people really knew how everything started, no small feat in he gossip ridden halls of our institutions of learning.

    And if it helps my image at all I did/do feel bad about the whole thing but I was banned from ever telling him. With things like this it's hard to figure out the true motivation for not telling the other person. It's a lose-lose situation, either you get it off your chest and make someone else feel like shit or you hold it in and are a liar and a coward.
     
  17. Frebis

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    I have never cheated.

    I did get cheated on a few times. The first time she apologized. I accepted. The second time she did it a month later I kicked her to the curb. At first I felt nothing but rage (thank god I didn't act on it). Then I felt nothing but sadness. I had to take a week off work, because I couldn't get motivated enough to leave the house. I still felt the after effects for the better part of six months.

    It is because of the above that I have never cheated. I don't want to put someone I love through that kind of shit.

    When I was younger I did have sex with a few married women. There was a bar by my house where the housewives all met to get drunk, since they didn't have anything else to do while their husbands were at work. These women had terribly low self esteem, they hated their life. As a result if I listened to them, they would buy my drinks, and let me fuck them however I wanted, as hard as I wanted, as often as we could fit in before the kids needed picked up from school. I was unemployed at the time, and didn't have anything better to do.

    Back in the day the above story was one of my proudest moments. Now it makes me sick thinking about how selfish I was.
     
  18. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Eh, been on both ends, the dirty deeder and the one dirty deeded.

    Then I grew up, and realized the most important thing you can do in any relationship is not lie. On Christmas, I was hanging with the in-laws and my nephew and I (he's in college, freshman year) were talking about it. And that's what I told him, as long as you don't lie and you're up front about what your situation is, you're ok. When you start lying? Yeah, that's when it's a fucking problem.

    I wish I could say I was always this wise, but I cheated on several girlfriends when I was younger. Had a few cheat on me. You either learn or you don't, but I did, hence, when I said "forsaking all others" I meant it then, and still do. And I always will.
     
  19. Pussy Galore

    Pussy Galore
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    I've cheated on one boyfriend, my high school sweetheart. He was/is Catholic and waiting until marriage to give it up; I gave it up a long time ago. Go ahead and call me a cold-hearted bitch, but I was seventeen and sex crazed, and I wanted to have my cake and eat it, too. Surprisingly, he won't take me back.

    Secondary Focus: When the last ex and I broke up, I asked for the money he owed me. It was a relatively small amount, around fifty bucks or so, and I make enough not to notice its absence. But it was my money that I loaned him [to buy a ticket to a concert when he didn't have the money upfront] with the explicit understanding that he would repay me, and I want my money, damnit.
     
  20. Sicnevol

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    A week before I almost got married, I found out the guy had cheated on me with almost 30 people. Needless to say, i almost set him on fire. A week later, he fell down a stair case, repeatedly.