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And his farts were the most hideous things you ever smelled.

Discussion in 'New Thread Suggestions' started by Psychodyne, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. Psychodyne

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    Experienced Idiot

    Oct 20, 2009
    State of Hockey
    I don't remember if we've done this before, or if it even has legs, but here goes.

    A buddy of mine was killed in a motorcycle accident earlier this week. He was one of three of us who've been close friends since middle school. We were inseparable in school and didn't grow very far apart as we got older. We grew up together, helped each other through every hard time we faced, compared notes on everything we did, and were lifelong friends no matter what. He's my first really close friend to punch out, and I don't think it's nearly done fucking with me. So anyway, in order to dull our pain and sorrow, my remaining buddy and I got together for an early happy hour the following afternoon in downtown Minneapolis. Essentially we drank a lot and ogled the incredible amount of hot women who were walking by because nothing can cheer a guy up like beer, tits, and ass. It's science. Eye candy always lifts the spirits. So as my buddy and I were discretely leering open-mouthed at some girls ass walking by he says:

    "We're both married now, so we'll have to flip for it."

    "Her ass?" *pointing confused*

    "No doucheboat, <buddies wife>. One of us is obligated to try and bang her now, right?"

    "Well, we'd be insulting his choice of woman if we didn't at least try."

    "Exactly. And nothing says 'we'll help you through this' like both his buddies trying to get in her pants."

    "Pffft, yeah. We're like grieving widow Kryptonite. Think we can get her to double team us? One in front one in back, we could high five and give him the bird during it. Then switch."

    "There's pretty much no way we're not going to Hell, right?"

    Ahhhhh...what are friends for. We had a good laugh about that and he'd have been laughing his ass off too had he been there. We talked about that a little after, laughing that he'd be saying something like 'And if you dickfaces get her to do anal with either of you, I'll haunt you till your dying days." That's something that wasn't on the menu at his house very often, and we heard all about it. All the time. I'm pretty sure most of the people around us didn't appreciate our brand of humor, and were relieved when we left. We gave no shits.

    Focus: Gallows Humor. When have you used, or tried to use, humor to get you through a difficult time? Did you give a eulogy that included that time he called you up drunk insisting that a hooker probably gave him herpes? Did you comment about how pissed she'd be right now, because her skin finally looks so smooth, during her viewing? Did you have a lengthy conversation in public about how you should bang his widow? Or did you actually do it?

    Alt. Focus: How would your friends haunt you in order to get back at you best? If you went before them, what sort of supernatural torments would you have in store for them?