Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

And here's to me.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by McSmallstuff, Mar 24, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    I ran this up the flag pole on the old board, but we'll see if Terrible Thread Thursday will get it ran.

    I love drinking toasts, and am always keen to hear more.

    So the FOCUS is simple. You people are drunken degenerates. Share some of your favorite pre drink sayings/lymrics/rallying crys.
     
  2. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
    Expand Collapse
    The White

    Reputation:
    23
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,571
  3. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    11
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,674
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Here's one that a friend of mine has always used (maybe a little too often). I'm not saying it's the greatest, but it's not bad.

    "Here's to cheating, fighting, stealing and drinking.
    If you're going to cheat, cheat death.
    If you are going to fight, fight for a brother.
    if you are going to steal, steal a woman's heart,
    and if you're gonna drink, drink with me."
     
  4. untouchable

    untouchable
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    20
    In college everyone has short attention spans, so I try to keep my toasts brief. My top two:

    "To our sons: May they have hot mothers, and rich fathers." -How to Make it in America

    "To good weed and bad bitches."
     
  5. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    9
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,149
    Location:
    Stockholm
    A favorite from a friend of mine:

    In the words of the great thinker Sophocles:

    DRINK NIGGER DRINK
     
  6. Solaris

    Solaris
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Messages:
    409
    Location:
    Belfast, Ireland
    "To his imperial majesty the King of Prussia."

    I was on the internet at a party one night drunk (yeah I'm that guy) and came across this gem. It's what the Prussian army used to always toast too when they were drinking in the 19th Century. It's actually a little bit more epic but I can't find it, spent ages on Google but if anyone knows exactly what it was please tell me.
     
  7. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    20
    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Messages:
    1,032
    Location:
    Earth, The Universe
    I have a friend who says this for every toast:

    Razors pain you;
    Rivers are damp;
    Acids stain you;
    And drugs cause cramp.
    Guns aren't lawful;
    Nooses give;
    Gas smells awful;
    You might as well drink.



    After she finishes, it's always someone's job to tell her that doesn't rhyme.
     
  8. NoMames

    NoMames
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    79
    "Here's to snatching kisses. And vice versa."
     
  9. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    97
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    937
    Location:
    NC
    I wholeheartedly agree.
     
  10. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out

    I would fuck Dorothy Parker. Not like when she was famous. I mean now. A lot of her quotes make for good toasts:



     
  11. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    May the winds of fortune sail you.
    May you sail a gentle sea.
    May it always be the other guy,
    who says this drinks on me!

    I use that one often.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    812
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    19,608
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    My friend El Nino has the only good one I've ever heard:

    Poetry.
     
  13. The_Native

    The_Native
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    34
    a stripper told me this:

    heres to the stars,
    may you look like a movie star,
    party like a rock star,
    and fuck like a porn star
     
  14. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    14
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,185
    The stripper also wasn't big on capitalization.
     
  15. Hoosiermess

    Hoosiermess
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    63
    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    824
    Location:
    Indiana
    An old favorite from a friend of mine:

    "Too wet to plow, too fat to dance, might as well drink."
     
  16. Lasersailor

    Lasersailor
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    225
    A Classic:

    "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women." - Quint
     
  17. villagebicycle

    villagebicycle
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Messages:
    146
    We always toast to "the next step".

    The only rhyming one I know goes as such:

    If the oceans were whiskey and I was a duck
    I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
    But the ocean ain't whiskey, and I'm not a duck
    So let's throw back these shots and get all fucked up

    Or something of that nature.
     
  18. jennitalia

    jennitalia
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    55
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    806
    Location:
    Canada
    We keep it simple: To lechery and treachery.
     
  19. Tyty

    Tyty
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    71
    "To beer and women, may they never be flat"
     
  20. TJMax

    TJMax
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    52
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    456
    Location:
    North Las Vegas
    My grandma and my best friend are both fond of this one, and I suppose one could do worse:

    Here's to those who wish us well,
    All the rest can go to hell.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.