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And here's to me.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by McSmallstuff, Mar 24, 2011.

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  1. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    I ran this up the flag pole on the old board, but we'll see if Terrible Thread Thursday will get it ran.

    I love drinking toasts, and am always keen to hear more.

    So the FOCUS is simple. You people are drunken degenerates. Share some of your favorite pre drink sayings/lymrics/rallying crys.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    The White

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  3. Fernanthonies

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    Here's one that a friend of mine has always used (maybe a little too often). I'm not saying it's the greatest, but it's not bad.

    "Here's to cheating, fighting, stealing and drinking.
    If you're going to cheat, cheat death.
    If you are going to fight, fight for a brother.
    if you are going to steal, steal a woman's heart,
    and if you're gonna drink, drink with me."
     
  4. untouchable

    untouchable
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    In college everyone has short attention spans, so I try to keep my toasts brief. My top two:

    "To our sons: May they have hot mothers, and rich fathers." -How to Make it in America

    "To good weed and bad bitches."
     
  5. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    A favorite from a friend of mine:

    In the words of the great thinker Sophocles:

    DRINK NIGGER DRINK
     
  6. Solaris

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    "To his imperial majesty the King of Prussia."

    I was on the internet at a party one night drunk (yeah I'm that guy) and came across this gem. It's what the Prussian army used to always toast too when they were drinking in the 19th Century. It's actually a little bit more epic but I can't find it, spent ages on Google but if anyone knows exactly what it was please tell me.
     
  7. lostalldoubt86

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    I have a friend who says this for every toast:

    Razors pain you;
    Rivers are damp;
    Acids stain you;
    And drugs cause cramp.
    Guns aren't lawful;
    Nooses give;
    Gas smells awful;
    You might as well drink.



    After she finishes, it's always someone's job to tell her that doesn't rhyme.
     
  8. NoMames

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    "Here's to snatching kisses. And vice versa."
     
  9. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    I wholeheartedly agree.
     
  10. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    I would fuck Dorothy Parker. Not like when she was famous. I mean now. A lot of her quotes make for good toasts:



     
  11. McSmallstuff

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    May the winds of fortune sail you.
    May you sail a gentle sea.
    May it always be the other guy,
    who says this drinks on me!

    I use that one often.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    My friend El Nino has the only good one I've ever heard:

    Poetry.
     
  13. The_Native

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    a stripper told me this:

    heres to the stars,
    may you look like a movie star,
    party like a rock star,
    and fuck like a porn star
     
  14. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    The stripper also wasn't big on capitalization.
     
  15. Hoosiermess

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    An old favorite from a friend of mine:

    "Too wet to plow, too fat to dance, might as well drink."
     
  16. Lasersailor

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    A Classic:

    "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women." - Quint
     
  17. villagebicycle

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    We always toast to "the next step".

    The only rhyming one I know goes as such:

    If the oceans were whiskey and I was a duck
    I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
    But the ocean ain't whiskey, and I'm not a duck
    So let's throw back these shots and get all fucked up

    Or something of that nature.
     
  18. jennitalia

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    We keep it simple: To lechery and treachery.
     
  19. Tyty

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    "To beer and women, may they never be flat"
     
  20. TJMax

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    My grandma and my best friend are both fond of this one, and I suppose one could do worse:

    Here's to those who wish us well,
    All the rest can go to hell.
     
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