A few weeks ago I was regaled with a couple of stories from two of my buddies who have recently paid for sex. One of them just graduated college down in Miami and my other buddy took a road trip down there to see him. Two of their debaucherous filled nights ended up at local strip club where both of them engaged in some champagne room lovin'. One banged a 'pretty hot blonde' and the other had threesome with two dancers. The former has actually done this multiple times, and both were not ashamed at all. When we found out my group of friends were pretty surprised if not a little grossed out, but amused. And it got me thinking to myself if I could ever see myself in a situation where I would pay for sex. My gut reaction is no, that's fuckin' gross; those girls are getting deep dicked every hour on the hour and I don't want no sloppy seconds, thirds, or sixty-ninths! However, when I think about it outside of the US there is a lot less of social stigma when it comes to paying for sex or sexual favors (from what I've heard and discussed, not read). And I've got to admit, maybe there will be a time when I'm traveling through Europe and perhaps I'll take a gander into what Lady Marmalade's upscale whore house has to offer. And then I feel dirty again. Focus:What say you about paying for sex or sexual favors like a rub and tug? Anyone done it? Anyone flat out disgusted at even the notion of paying for sex? Or are you worried what your friends may think and that one day you'll be raising a little girl of your own and look into her eyes and know you paid to bang a Vietnamese whore during that two-week sexcapade in South Pacifc?
My attitude towards this is the same as with marijuana. I have not and will never do it in a million years, and think it's bad for you. However, I believe it should be legal and have no problems with others doing it. On an episode of Bullshit!, Penn and Teller make a wonderful case for legalizing prostitution; Edit- Holy fuck is that a hilarious preview image!
Every man pays for sex. Some negotiate the price up front. Some pay the price in Divorce Court. I've researched owning brothels (legally) for clients, been part of an investment group that considered buying one, and know guys that owned a legal establishment interstate. From my limited contact with the industry, there are some seriously screwed up types lurking there. I nearly got crash tackled by 300 pounds of minge in the car park of the aforementioned establishment when I was doing the guys a favour of dropping off supplies on my way through - because she thought I was the pizza guy. I can authoritatively say that it was very impressive to see how quickly a hooker can pull up to a dead stop in high heels.
It doesn't disgust me, but it's always struck me as sad. I don't get what the appeal of some girl who doesn't know you, doesn't like you, and probably resents you, is. It's like paying someone to come to Christmas or paying someone to tell you how impressed they are by you. Some things just can't be bought, and attempting to buy them is just a sad self delusion.
This. My one visit to a strip club (about two weeks back), my buddy tried to convince me to get a dance. I told him that if a girl is going to get naked for me, to dance/fuck/whatever, I want it to be because she WANTS to, not because that's how she puts food in her mouth. He was fairly understanding, but I've espoused pretty much the same opinion to others in the past, and the general reaction from guys usually ranges from "You're a pussy who will never get pussy" to a condescending whatever-you-say-buddy. So no, I never will pay for sex. If someone else wants to, it should be their business and NOT that of the government; that said, when they come down with a burning urethra, sores, and general malaise, they get to pay out of pocket for that too.
I've found that I need an emotional connection with a woman to get hard. It doesn't even have to be a great one, but it has to be there. I have to genuinely think you're cute and nice, and you have to think I'm cute and nice. Otherwise it shuts off and you might as well try fucking a big gummy worm or something. That being said, if that's what you're into, go for it. I wouldn't do it myself, but that doesn't mean someone else shouldn't be allowed to do so. I do think that it's sad when someone does it for emotional gratification instead of physical gratification. A guy who's away from home and just has that itch? Guaranteed sex might be far better than the annoyance of finding someone down for a one-night stand. A guy who can't get laid normally and compensates by paying for it? That's a damn shame.
Not gonna lie or take some high road. If there was a zero percent chance of me catching some shit (babies count) and she was a 9 or hotter, AND a flavor I can't easily get like redhead or dot Indian, I'd spend up to $300 for a one time go. Just so I can say I did it, tell my close male friends only and call it a day. But since I'm also not riding a unicorn to work, or hundreds don't pour out my pockets, it's never going to happen. I was down in New Orleans and that shit can go down easily and no one says anything to you. Most of the strippers are open to it, and if they like you, they put your hands all over them will tell you. A buddy dropped $200 on a blowjob. Absolutely ridiculous price, but he has a story and his tests came back clean.
I wouldn't pay for sex a lot of reasons, but probably the most honest is that it would totally fuck my head up. When I'm having sex, a large part of my mental energy is spent gauging reactions, and reading body language, and figuring out what would be the most fun/hot thing to do next. Probably some guys just process all of that naturally, but I don't think I'm really one of them. Fucking a prostitute subverts that in a really off-putting way. If she's performing in a way that is just about my pleasure, and is likely better at faking her own pleasure than about everybody else, it's going to confuse me. I'm going to spend a bunch of time wondering if I'm actually being played (wasn't somebody on this board talking about how easily they could fake vaginal contractions?), and the rest of the time trying to figure out how to discern a real, human reaction. By far the best part of sex for me is seeing people at their most unabashed, their most visceral, their most...real and terribly human, and I'm not sure it's worth it for me otherwise. Plus, I'm super good at jerking it, anyway.
I agree with KI in that I've never done it but I think it should be legal. Fuck strip clubs, that is simply watered-down prostitution that serves no Goddamned purpose. When I examine why I've never done it, I can come up with three or four reasons: I'm too cheap, I've never had a problem meeting women, and until recently I never really knew where to go and I never met a hooker that I thought was hot enough to pay for. The appeal for me would be a blank sexual canvas to paint whatever I wanted on, but if I had to negotiate a price for whatever I wanted, the excitement would be lost. When I think about it, there are few fantasies of mine that would be better with a prostitute, certainly not any I'm in a hurry to realize. I've been, lived or stayed near a few brothels and red light districts, but only in Bali was it in my face. I got propositioned by a mustachioed, squat woman with a gang of staggered and lonely black teeth as I requested a couple's massage (you know, the kind your girlfriend is standing there for) and the thought of her touching my penis made my sperm count drop. A few weeks later, a smoking hot Asian woman came up to my buddy and I outside of a restaurant, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and gave me her number. She sent me a text that said "threesome, your place, any time you want with me and my girlfriend, $200". She at least gave me pause and then I remembered that I had to take an HIV test to enter that country for a reason, I still have not met an Australian in Bali who would admit to using a condom, and a threesome with hookers counts....but not really. Any time I got in a taxi alone, the driver was always nice enough to ask if I needed a girlfriend for the night, and when one of the Aussie retirees was celebrating his divorce, he threw an orgy and invited me, and then when he thought about it he added, "Aw, hell mate, bring your misses along for the fun, too."
One of my girlfriend's at the moment is a stripper. A girl I've dated in the past works as an escort. Several of my close friends have done escort work, more have done professional dominatrix work and shit I've done pro Domination work - although it's not the same for a guy (or for someone like me who does it very occasionally and more for lulz than the money) as it is for a girl who makes her living doing it. Personally? I won't pay for it. That's (obviously) not any kind of moral position for me. It's just that what gets me off and makes sex worthwhile is the being wanted by my partner thing. That's my biggest kink. I just don't see any point in masturbating with someone else hand (or face, or whatever). For it to scratch the itch, they have to want it. Wanting my money doesn't cut it. I also don't see the point of paying strippers, for much the same reason. But even if you do enjoy the attention of people who are only interested in your money, I don't get why you'd pay a stripper and not a hooker - that seems like buying a delicious sandwich, that you can look at, smell, and in some places touch certain parts of, but not actually enjoy. I don't fucking get it. The girl I dated who was working as an escort, started it out basically as a dirty fantasy. She was into the idea of it and working at a conservative white collar job, so picked up a shift at an upscale brothel around her day job for giggles. She found out that she enjoyed the work and liked the extra money and has at various times been a full time escort or part time around conservative white collar day jobs. I can honestly say that working in an upscale brothel sounds like it would be less soul crushing than working in a lot of corporate IT jobs that I've had. My observation in general is that escorts tend to be WAY less fucked up than strippers. Escorts for the most part interact with tops 10 guys a shift and more often like 6 guys. There's very little negotiation and for the most part guys are relatively sober and not trying to impress their friends. Strippers spend usually 10-12 hours interacting with dozens or hundreds of drunk assholes who are trying to impress their friends by being assholes, and in a nickle and dime negotiation with douche bags who want to pay $10 for a blow job. It takes a remarkable person to put up with that shit and not loathe men as a group. When my girlfriend started stripping - I told her that I was cool with it on the condition that she quits when she starts generalizing all guys as the assholes who come into her work. I'd honestly be much less concerned about her doing high end brothel work. I do think that legit brothels that insist on very regular STI checks for all escorts and visual inspections of all patrons and provide reasonable income streams for girls with security and protection are a very, very different thing to third world escorts who turn tricks as part of forced labour rings and don't run away because they're heroin addicts. Legalization and police support of safety for sex workers, and legally required STI testing makes the whole thing much safer. I generally think the criminality of the industry in so many places is the biggest part of why the industry is seen as such a dark and negative thing. I mean sex work isn't for everyone and lots of people couldn't do it without fucking up their sense of self and etc. But I'm honestly not convinced that it's any worse for your soul than telemarketing or selling used cars (I actually think it's probably way less soul crushing) or even remotely as likely to fuck up your life and future relationships as being a lawyer - and nobody wants to protect people working in those industries from their soul crushing jobs.
Yeah but strip clubs are fucking rip off teases to begin with. If you are going to pay for something might as well get a nut busted off proper. I have known only one guy that "hooked up" at a strip club, he paid 600 dollars. He also JUST received a handjob. But he was hassled for paying in the first place. As to Aetius point, I think it's wrong. You aren't paying the girl to pretend like you are the dashing charming guy that could pick up women in the first place. It is a simple busted nut for money transaction (she might resent that fact but she can also not suck dick for money). It seems to me the college hook up/binge drinking culture has basically snuffed out any chance for sex to be seen strictly as some special connection between two people. I really had my mind changed on the subject when I lived in Asia. Though technically banned the social stigma is non existent and the dynamic so utterly outside of the way of thinking I was raised in it was kind of mind blowing. I'll preface this up front and believe me or not how ever much I trumpet it now, I never actually visited a hooker/soapy/massage parlor in my time there. In America the two basic views on hookers are either, crack whore sucking dick to score rock or high price escort financial tycoons and Charlie Sheen fuck. So you get drug addicts or the super hot ass girls that wouldn't touch you if they weren't taking money and won't touch you because you don't have near enough. The basic view of the john is the two bit chump or burn victim that couldn't score if their life depended on it. A little more derision aimed at the former more than the latter. Going into one of the hooker bars in Shanghai was surreal. Mostly dime pieces, serious dime pieces, from the poorer asian countries like Vietnam and Thailand. That spoke accentless english perfectly and a lot of whom didn't drink alcohol at all. They all used protection from what I heard. Wouldn't you run similar risk blacking out and hooking up with a random chick from a bar? I think part of the easy going atmosphere had to do with the fact that Americans and other westerners were so far from home and so far from the derision and social stigma that the constraints were lifted. If it weren't for the fact that for the most part I had no real income at all when I lived there outside of a few sporadic part time gigs, I would have visited them. Everyone I knew, every one, partook one time or another. Didn't matter how old, good looking, how well they did with women. The social dynamics with western girls was fucking thrown for a loop. With regular Chinese girls hoping to score a westerner AND the hooker option, a lot of the western girls were left high and dry. In a normal US situation where most girls would be the center of attention they'd be fucking desperate for dudes. Just social dynamics that movies couldn't come up with. To sum it all up I shifted from a person who bought and fed into the stigma, to more along the lines of my views on weed. Honestly, it's one of those subjects that if it came up on a ballet I'd vote for it, but Im not burning any calories to get it passed in the first place. edit: In the states since it cost so much more for anything decent I'd probably only be willing to do it if it was one of the various porn stars Ive jacked it to for years if they hooked on the side. If it was say Gianna or Lily Thai or Jenna Haze I'd probably pay for an hour. I honestly don't know how much they'd command for it though probably go as high as a couple grand. Shit if I had a dollar for every time I jacked it to them I could pay for an hour.
Never done it. One night stands were and would always be my preference. I like going out to dinner and having lots of drinks, paying for a +1 is no big problem. If I had longer than a 6 month dry spell where I was trying and failing it would be on the cards and it would be wild. Think off-road driving a rental car. In the wet.
I paid for a blowjob once. It was my birthday so I was fucked up beyond belief and the bars closed down so we went (more like I was taken because I was too drunk to really do much on my own) to the strip club to keep drinking. First thing I did there was go to the bathroom and puke. I came out and there was a stripper waiting for me, my friends had already payed her for the dance, so we went back to the lap dance area. I passed out during the dance and was awoken by a bouncer telling me I needed to go, I protested and pointed to a random stripper who happened to be walking by and said I had come back with her. She corroborated my story, I'm assuming because she figured I would be easy money with how trashed I was. Well she started giving me a dance and I started fading away again and she stuck her hand down my pants and pulled out my dick. You might be thinking "wait, I thought he said he was in the area where they get lap dances, not in one of the private rooms". Yeah, I did. Mind you I didn't ask for this, I figured she was doing me a favor out of the goodness of her soulless stripper heart. She started blowing me, and I only remember two things from that point on, that she was doing a terrible job and that once I finished she wiped her face with those tiny square napkins they put your drinks on. Apparently I paid $200 for it because according to my bank statement that is what I withdrew from the ATM and I didn't have any of that money in my wallet or pockets the next day. I walked out into the parking lot and passed out in the bed of one of my friend's trucks and that's where I woke up the next morning except back at his house and covered in my own vomit. Honestly, I still feel ashamed of myself when I think about it and this was over 4 months ago. I don't think at the time I realized I was going to be paying for it at the time, or at least that's what I tell myself, but it just felt wrong and I would never do it again, I haven't been to a titty bar since. I don't judge other people for it, but I feel weak for allowing myself to succumb to that kind of temptation. I'm astounded that I could even manage to get my dick up and that a bouncer or someone didn't see what was happening.
I've paid 3 times; once in Thailand, once in Shanghai and once at home in the UK. No pics for the thai girl as she was simply someone out of a bar while I was engaging in a very heavy night of drinking with 2 New Zealand guys I met earlier in the evening. The weird thing here is that they are father and son, but both ended up picking up some hookers as well. The chinese girl, profile here, I paid for the over night servive which is about £280 ($435). She came over at about 22:00 and left about 04:30. A pretty good night. The reaosn I paid for her was that I had a bit of spare cash near the end of a business trip so decided to have some fun. The english girl, profile here, I paid for 2 hours at £250 ($388). She was good but not worth the cost really, when compared with value for money abroad. But that's just the standard rate in the UK. The reason I paid for this girl was simply because I had some spare cash around the house and was bored one night.
I can't seem to edit my post above so I'm having to make a new one. The price for the Thai girl was £30, and it was simply a quick fuck and then leave job. However, if you're smart and negotiate then you can get some pretty crazy deals. My friend sent me this picture of a girl who is apparently 18, and he paid £40 for the entire night.
I can't imagine paying for sex. The best part about sex - the hottest part, the thing that gets me off more than anything else - is getting her off. There's just about nothing better than getting a woman to the point where she's practically inarticulate. Similar to what Nom said, that's something that is always present in my mind and I think it'd really screw with my head to know that she's acting. I don't have a moral objection to it (assuming the women aren't being abused, or doing it out of desperation, which is a huge assumption) it's just not something I could do.
Never paid for it and never will. But I was offered money by a gay guy to let him give me head. My best friend from my childhood is gay and runs in a circle of other gay dudes that all go out clubbing together. One time when I was visiting him he invited me to come to a gay bar but said we didn't have to go if it made me uncomfortable. It didnt bother me so I went along figuring I could bail and go hang out with other friends if shit got weird. Well, shit got weird. I had never been to a gay bar before and it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. It wasnt dudes prancing around in thongs with gay porn on monitors like Tucker Max said in his book. Dudes were well dressed and there was decent music playing and cheap drinks. While my buddy and his friends were probably debating over which guy was more hipstered-out, I bought myself a drink, then another. And another. After a few deep, two random guys came over and asked if I was there alone and I pointed to my group. They nodded and asked if I wanted to dance and I said I was straight and that I'm not interested. "Sure you are." one said and winked. He left and went back to the dance floor. After a while he returned alone and started saying that Im cute and should just "see where the night takes" me. The fuck? I then rebuffed him again, a little more sternly. He then just laid it out there and said he would give me $80 bucks to let me receive head from him and if I felt uncomfortable, I could stop any time. This time I completely ignored him and just left the bar. My buddy, confused followed me out and I explained to situation to him. He marched back in there and and started bitching the other guy out for being a perv or something and got him thrown out. He was also very apologetic and assuring me that that's not typical for these kind of bars. Whatever. TL;DR: I was propositioned for gay sex.
Never paid for it, probably never will. Partially because it fundamentally feels icky, partially because I just don't view the act in and of itself as that necessary. I rarely find myself having the feeling that I need to have sex, so I can just wait until next time. I find this taboo interesting, though. Why does almost every guy (and girl, I assume) feel that it is inherently gross and he would be a lesser person for it? In a society where we can essentially pay someone to do everything for us (cook our food, watch our kids, wash our clothes, clean our apartment, answer our email), sex is one of the few activities where we view capitalism as illegitimate. This seems to still hold true even when visiting places where prostitution is perfectly legal: even where legal, prostitution is viewed as less morally justifiable than other acts of commerce. Of the top of my head, this puts it in a small club with academics, civic duties (voting or jury duty) and friendship in terms of "things you will roundly be shunned for paying someone for." The reasoning in those instances is obvious: because academics are a test of intellectual merit, for the good of the republic, and because of the implied insincerity. Sex, less so. To me, this says that we as a society still view sex as at least partially an act of validation. One shouldn't pay for sex because the implied value of "I want to fuck you, you want to fuck me" and we consider this a fundamental part of the exchange. The more unfortunate downside is that this causes us to look down on sex workers as people who do shameful work, when in reality we're all whores in one way or another.