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An Ex To Grind

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dubyu tee eff, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/ojwqn/tldr_devil_girl/c3hy8q8?context=4" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments ... ?context=4</a>

    This guy gives a list of his 5 craziest ex girlfriends. One of them is a girl who tries to cut his arm off with a katana. Amazingly, she is the least crazy of the 5. I've never even met anyone this insane in my life, and this guy has managed to date 5 of them.

    Focus: I'm sure we've done this at some point or another, but I can't remember. Tell us about your craziest ex-boyfriends/girlfriends.
     
  2. jordan_paul

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    Wow, you never fuck with a man's truck, his dog or his tools. That was an extremely cunty thing to do.
     
  3. lostalldoubt86

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    There was this guy who I had sex with once who used to stalk me. I was a little drunk when I had sex with him, so I didn't realize he was weird until a few days later. For about a week, he would text my phone every two hours. When I say every two hours, I mean that exactly. He texted me at 9:26, 11:26, 1:26, 3:26,... every day for a week. They were normal "what's up" text on the first day, but by the end of the week he was pledging his undying love to me and telling me he was going to kill himself if I didn't go out to the movies with him. I ended up calling campus police and letting them know what he was saying to me.

    After that, he stopped texting, but he would follow me to class, sit a few table away whenever I went to the campus cafe to eat, wander around the library watching me, and eventually started standing outside my apartment ( I lived on the 2nd floor right above the laundry room, which had an outside door. He would pretend to be doing his laundry. Every night. In an apartment complex he did not live in.) I called campus security on him a couple times, but eventually I just gave up because he wasn't doing anything threatening.

    I don't know what happened to him. He only did it for the last semester of my 3rd year, and by the time I came back in the fall, he was gone.
     
  4. guernica

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    I've mentioned this is in a thread before, but I had an ex that stalked me on the old RMMB. While we were going out. It was probably 5-6 months into our relationship, and I think she found the messageboard and my involvement in my laptop history while she was staying over mine, because I cannot remember ever visiting the forum when I was staying at hers. Anyway, after seeing the type of forum I was on, she decided to make an account, put a photo of an attractive girl that she probably searched and found on google images, and started hitting on me through private messages. It was blatantly obvious to me that this girl wasn't for real, and after a few messages back and forth, where she would outrageously flirt and try to lead me into saying/doing something that could get me into trouble, I realised it was the girlfriend posing as someone else. Obviously I confronted her about it. However I was stupid enough to enough to stay with her. For the most part everything else about her seemed normal and sweet etc.

    Not long after RMMB migrated to here, me and this girlfriend broke up. It had been a couple of years, and things were getting stale. 4-5 months later she came over to pick up her stuff (we had been talking on/off from there), we fucked, and things were sort of back on. That lasted 4-5 more months, until

    basically happened, except from here instead of reddit. Things I had said during our break-up, while we were together the first time and the second time, had all been recorded by her. Most of which didn't really involve her anyway.
     
  5. T0m88

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    Well, this guy's lived a full life.

    ...And needs to stop thinking with his dick.

    ...Or is completely full of shit. Either or. Regardless, I still don't understand how the woman who almost took his arm off with a FUCKING SWORD doesn't take the cake for craziest. Sure, the others were fucked-up stalkers and/or cuntish in the extreme, but having someone take a swing at you with - again - A FUCKING SWORD has gotta top that list. Particularly as she was apparently arrested within a short period of time for an "unrelated stabbing".

    I mean, FUCKING SWORD.

    Focus:


    First Prize for Crazy definitely goes to a girl I met two or so years ago. We met in a bar, hit it off, and a short while later we were drunkenly stumbling into my bedroom and trying to take off clothes one-handed. I took off her dress, and that's where the night, which had begun with such promise, went careening off downhill like an out-of-control dumpster truck full of liquid shit.

    She was wearing a girdle.

    Yep, a motherfucking girdle. A neoprene sleeve which started below her ass and ended just below her boobs, into which she had crammed her pasty, flabby body so that while it might look like she had an amazing hourglass figure when she had a dress on, the truth was she was actually shaped more like a pear. The sight of this and the sense of betrayal it inspired, combined with the mental image of clammy sweat accumulating under the neoprene for hours, made my boner literally crawl back up into my pelvis. She actually had the gall to be offended by this, as if it was OK to flat-out lie about what your body actually looked like, and then expect people to be OK with the truth being revealed when both parties are half-naked. At this point, the following conversation took place:

    Crazy: Well if you don't want to fuck me, you have to let me sleep here.
    Me: Er... what?
    Crazy: I can't go home now, so you have to let me sleep here.
    Me: Well, it would've been nicer if you'd, you know, asked instead of demanding that, but I guess you can sleep here, sure. (At this point, it was 4am. My plan was to suffer her for about 3-4 hours, just to avoid any drama, then kick her out). But just so you know, I have to be somewhere at 9 tomorrow morning, so we're going to have to get up early (I was also hoping this might be sufficient to frighten her off home).
    Crazy: Oh that's fine, I'll just stay here and sleep.
    Me: Come again?
    Crazy: I'll just stay here and sleep, then when I wake up, I'll leave.
    Me: Er... no, that's not really OK, sorry.
    Crazy: Why not?
    Me: Because I ONLY MET YOU FOUR HOURS AGO. I have no idea who you are. I'm not comfortable leaving you in my house alone, sorry.
    Crazy: Well you're gonna have to.
    Me: Er... why?
    Crazy: If you don't let me sleep here I'm going to call the police on you (being Irish, her exact words were "call the guards on yeh". Never trust the Irish).
    Me: What?
    Crazy: I'm going to call the police on you and tell them you raped me.
    Me: ...
    Crazy: So you'd best let me sleep here.
    Me: Get the fuck out of my fucking house, you numb cunt.

    This was followed by me grabbing her handbag, sprinting for the window, and tossing it out. She obviously had to run and get it, at which point I locked both the front door and the door to my apartment behind her, and chucked whatever she'd left behind after the bag. This was followed by her buzzing the doorbell nonstop and screaming for a good half hour (mostly screaming, since I disconnected the doorbell about five minutes in. This was at 4am, I'll remind you). My flatmate came out of his room to find out what the fuck was going on and we sat up playing Call of Duty while she screamed herself hoarse outside. Eventually one of the neighbours threw a bucket of water at her and threatened to call the police, at which point she took off.

    Was my reaction harsh? In retrospect, I suppose, yes. But accusing a man of rape? That's probably one of the most cuntish things a woman can fucking do. I'd just finished reading about the Duke Lacrosse Trials as well, so how badly false allegations of rape can fucking destroy someone's reputations was pretty fresh in my mind. So yeah, I'd probably do the same again. Fuck that crazy cunt.
     
  6. AlmostGaunt

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    A married woman I worked with took a liking to me and we flirted a little. (I didn't realize she was interested for the longest time. I started getting the hint when she mentioned that Cetaphil cream felt a lot like semen when rubbed on her face. I still wasn't completely sure until she said she'd send me pictures of her in a corset if I didn't have sex until the office xmas party.) Never kissed, never hung out outside of work, just the occasional lunch together. I'd just moved into a new rental house in a very swanky suburb (which we could only afford because the woman who owned it had semi-adopted my housemate and charged us 1/3 of the going rent. 2 story house in Nedlands for $250/w for any Perthians.) with a housemate I barely knew, one of my brother's friends. The woman rang me and asked if she could give me a present. Sure, I said. She said she was passing my house on the way to the dog beach, and could she drop in for 2 minutes. Sure, I said. She rocks up and hands me a bottle of Johnny Walker Gold, we chat for a bit, and she leaves. I'm so pleased by the free alcohol I don't even really think about the fact she knew my address. I thought maybe I'd mentioned it in passing when discussing my impending move some weeks before.

    Cut to 2am that night and I'm happily sleeping after enjoying much of the whiskey. I start dreaming that someone is calling me. This rapidly turns into the unpleasant knowledge that someone is shattering the peaceful silence of this upper class suburb by yelling my name over and over again. I peek out a window and she's out the front, staggeringly drunk, begging for me to let her in. Great. This is exactly the first impression I wanted to make on my new housemate and neighbours. Even though letting her in would've contained the problem, I figured my chances of being accused of rape when the husband asked where she'd been last night were about 50/50 - not great odds. I grabbed a phone book and looked up their last name, hoping I could ring the husband and ask her to fetch the banshee that was still knock knock knocking at my chamber door, but in this day of mobiles they didn't have a home number listed. At this point I started seriously thinking about how she got my address, and I'm about 99% sure I didn't tell her, meaning she had to get it from either my friends at work or the admin files. Anyway, I took the only course of action I could think of: I went back to bed, put a pillow over my ears, and waited out the next 30 excruciating minutes.

    The next day at work she acted as if that was perfectly normal behaviour. Shortly afterwards, she locked herself in my office's cupboard and bawled her eyes out, at which point my boss, and my boss's boss, got involved. It wasn't a good time for me, although fortunately my boss was amused rather than appalled. A year or so later I quit that job, and decided to make out with her in the conference room because fuck it, why not? After some pretty hot making out, she said the line that still cracks me up to this day: "my therapist told me to stay away from you."

    You know, after typing this out, I had the sudden realization that I'm once again dipping my pen in the company ink, except this time it's sex and not just lunch. Hmmmmmm.
     
  7. Nom Chompsky

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    You do realize that both of you are insane assholes in this story, right?
     
  8. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    I didn't see anything especially assholish about Tom's behavior. Although since I'm completely clueless about this stuff I'm interested in what he did that makes him an asshole.
     
  9. bewildered

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    Wait, wearing a girdle is now considered the most insane asshole behavior ever? I can understand being surprised when the clothes come off, but c'mon. He was outright disgusted and I'd be pretty hurt if that was someone's attitude toward me. Judging from his attitude about the whole thing, he just wanted to get his dick wet anyway. C'mon, tell us. You still fucked her, didn't you?
     
  10. zzr

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    Whoa, hang on. A woman can stop a sexual encounter at any point for any reason. After she says "no," any action on the man's part is considered sexual assault. I wholeheartedly agree with that and believe that if she changes her mind at any point she should never feel pressured to continue. You're saying a man doesn't have that same prerogative, even when he feels he's been misled? He's an asshole because he changed his mind while she continued to make demands of him afterward?
     
  11. Nom Chompsky

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    Picking up a drunk girl at a bar, then reacting to her Spanx like she shanked a puppy, is kind of insane.

    She took it way over the top, and in the end, I think what Tom did is well within his rights and perfectly reasonable. But the way the story was told suggests a total lack of empathy for somebody who was rejected, drunk, and alone in some guys house at 4 in the morning.

    Tom has every right to stop a sexual encounter for any reason, or even no reason at all. That's not at all the part of the post I'm objecting to. I'm objecting to the hyperbolic body disgust and emotional numbness.
     
  12. rei

    rei
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    I think they're both assholes (misleading and just being a dick, respectively) but I wouldn't say there's any 'insanity' to be had.
     
  13. Pinkcup

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    Reacting with immature disgust after seeing a woman's undergarments is only acceptable if she's crapped herself or they're horribly stained from poop or blood or something. You have every right to get turned off and lose every ounce of willingness to put your dick inside her after seeing her undergarments, but freaking out like a fucking twelve-year-old virgin is the clearest indicator that you're being a toolbag.

    I cannot count the number of times I've pulled off a pair of old and unflattering boxers only to see shart stains, or those weird brownish-gray slivers of accumulated skin cells that have sifted into his briefs after he's unknowingly dislodged them from the wrinkles on his nutsack. But do you know what I didn't do, even though I was disgusted beyond all belief? I didn't act like an asshole and shame any of those dudes. I faked illness, or I said I changed my mind, or I lied and said I had an early appointment the next day that I wanted to be well-rested for. Kindness costs you nothing, and it's usually the best antidote against someone retaliating in a crazy fashion because you've hurt their feelings.

    Focus: There was the guy who put a loaded shotgun into his mouth and sobbingly threatened to pull the trigger unless I agreed to marry him as soon as I graduated high school. This same guy also told me he cut himself (like, self-harm cutting) when I went away to college and even convincingly faked a bloody bandage on his upper thigh to keep up the pretense (it accidentally came off one afternoon while we were swimming and his skin was pristine...that was fun to talk about). He also snuck into my parent's house at 3 A.M., crawling on his hands and knees up my front staircase and into my room..."because he missed me." I woke up to a male figure crouched next to my bed with his hands pressing firmly on my mouth to keep it closed. We weren't dating and hadn't been for about 6 months at that point, but I stupidly promised to "be his friend" after we broke up and I thought that I had to keep that promise at all costs...even if he was crazypants.

    All of that wasn't enough to make me cut him out of my life, shockingly enough. The last straw? He stole my yeast infection meds. Why? He wanted to "heal me with his tongue." I'll let y'all think about that for a minute. He so desperately wanted to resume sexual contact with me that he was willing to do...that.

    On the bright side: He seems to be happily married and has a beautiful baby girl now.
     
  14. T0m88

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    I should point out that though the narrative may suggest that I freaked out, that isn't actually the case. While I was pretty disgusted at being confronted by the girdle, I didn't say shit none. I'm not that much of a cunt. What did happen was an unavoidable physiological reaction: I lost my boner. At this point, with sex being off the cards, the girl first demanded I let her sleep there, and then, when I consented to that, followed that up by demanding that I let her, a stranger, stay in my house crammed full of valuables both mine and my flatmates' alone and unsupervised. This wouldn't have been at 4am, it would"ve been at midday. I had no idea who she was. Even if she'd been even slightly morally questionable, she could easily have found the temptation of an unsupervised laptop or ipod in the house of someone with no means of tracking her down too much to resist.

    And then, when I voiced a perfectly reasonable objection, she fucking THREATENED TO ACCUSE ME OF RAPE. Have you any idea how badly that can fucking haunt someone, for fucking YEARS, even if the accusation proves groundless?

    I'm pretty sure all of you condemning me would be unanymous in speaking out against the girl if the roles had been reversed and she'd been a guy who'd stuffed an extra pair of socks down his pants to attract female attention. Because that's exactly what it amounts to if we judge it based on selecting partners based on physical attraction alone.
     
  15. bewildered

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    Don't backpedal any faster, honey. You might trip.
     
  16. zzr

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    Ladies, the crazy Tom illustrated showed up after he refused to continue with her. It had nothing to do with the girdle. Would any of you let a guy you'd just met stay in your apartment after you left for the day, regardless of whether you had screwed him? What if he threatened to accuse you of a crime if you didn't comply with his demands? Hello? She threatened to accuse him of rape, and none of you commented on that. Apparently that's okay as long as nobody makes you feel self-conscious. This is a perfect example of why people question rape victims and you should be mad as hell that any woman would threaten to use that tactic.
     
  17. bewildered

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    I am not excusing her behavior or defending it. However, if you follow along with his original story, her behavior mirrors his. If you follow along with the alternate version, and she did all those things for simply the reason that he didn't want sex anymore, then her behavior is unexplainable and crazy. However, I am going to believe that truth is closer to the original story and that she was embarrassed and drunk and mirroring his behavior.

    False rape charges are terrible, but until she actually presses charges, she's all talk. Her behavior was inexcusable, but so was his.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    This thread:

    [​IMG]
     
  19. MoreCowbell

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    No one commented on it because everyone had already accepted the fact that it was obviously crazy and indefensible. Some things don't really require further comment.
     
  20. rachiii

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    Okay, let's just consider this sentence for a moment. I don't really have a horse in this race, but this is a crazy statement.

    Women should not be throwing rape charges around as a rhetorical tactic, emotional game, etc. Whether or not she's "all talk," this is inexcusable crazy, and it's precisely this sort of behavior that makes pressing real rape charges so difficult.

    Regardless of what actually happened in Tom's situation, rationales like this cannot exist in the world.