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An attitude of gratitude

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by lust4life, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. lust4life

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    Do you have an attitude of gratitude, or is it something you only think about on Thanksgiving? What are you grateful for today?
     
  2. Dcc001

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    Bump.
     
  3. Omegaham

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    I confess, I don't.

    There's a Ray LaMontagne song that I think of a lot. "I never learned to count my blessings; I choose instead to dwell in my disasters."

    But for the benefit of this thread, I'll think about the things that I'm grateful for.

    I'm grateful for a loving family that gives a shit about me.
    I'm grateful for a sound body and a decent mind.
    I'm grateful for the friends that I have.
    I'm grateful for a work environment that recognizes my talents.
     
  4. Flat_Rate

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    I am grateful that the condo, strippers, booze and mountains of coke are not going to be on my tab, only bonus to me getting married is the party this weekend.

    I am generally grateful for the stuff I do have, it always could be worse, I have been to some dark places and anytime I get depressed I just think of the people I know who are strung out, broke, homeless and/or in prison.

    Seriously if you aren't grateful for the freedom you have, try getting it taken away from you, that shit will wake you up quick. Sudennly having a home and a job that sucks sometimes isn't bad at all.
     
  5. shimmered

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    I'm grateful for what I have - every day.
    I have amazing kids, respectful, productive, insightful, intelligent, honest, precocious people who continue to show me how to be better every day.
    I have a job I love. I am surrounded by people I enjoy. I make enough money to live, though admittedly, I want to make more.
    I have The Husband. He and I are continually growing closer despite the distance.

    I don't take any of that for granted - because I know what it's like to NOT have that.
     
  6. Parker

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    I'm definitely very grateful for my job. I used to work in commissioned sales for The Onion and made nothing. It was the most frustrating job because effort rarely ever equated into financial success. My job now has its frustrations and is overall boring as hell, but the benefits far outweigh those drawbacks. I keep a copy of the last edition of The Onion my name was in posted on my desk wall so I always keep in mind that no matter how annoying this job gets, I at least can pay my rent and afford groceries.
     
  7. JWags

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    Family almost goes without saying. I have a pair of awesome and supportive parents and 3 sisters who are all great and who I become closer to each and every year.

    I've grown to appreciate my close friends more and more recently. Especially as I've had post-college friends come in and out of my life. I've developed a group of friends who are loyal, considerate, and always have my back and its something I truly feel thankful for on a weekly basis.

    It often gets clouded, and life gets in the way, but the bottom line is I'm living and working in the city I loved growing up and always dreamed about living in. Most of the problems and annoyances are temporary and likely won't be troubling long term. That fact alone I feel pretty lucky about and really want to make it a point of considering when I start feeling sorry for myself.
     
  8. Cult

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    Definitely grateful for what I have, but it wasn't always that way.

    I had a not so great relationship with my parents growing up to put it mildly, but right around when I got into high school it really took a 180 and despite them apologizing for all of the shit they did in the past (For the shit my dad did he should have gone to jail for child abuse), unfortunately I was just a kid so I harbored resentment from them and rebelled. I guess they felt guilty for past abuses and just let me do my own thing which almost led me to really fucking my life up at a young age.

    Fortunately I got myself back on track, but I've already wasted away a lot of opportunities I once had with my life, but now I'm thankful for the life I do have every day, and while I still harbor resentment towards my parents and I genuinely feel as though I was robbed of having a childhood, I recognize some people have it way worse than I did and I'm glad that I was finally able to have a functioning, loving relationship with my parents, some people never get to have that.
     
  9. ghettoastronaut

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    Ill be honest here: "an attitude of gratitude" sounds to me like some bullshit they tried to teach us in elementary school. The idea that one should be grateful at all times for even trhe slightest of good things - and that this is necessarily a good and moral outlook - is servile and presupposes there is a cause and a reason behind it.

    Besides, it's a bit rich to see people who otherwise bitch about every little thing turning around and talking about how awesome everything really is.
     
  10. caseykasem

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    I'm certainly not saying that everything is awesome but it could be a hell of a lot worse.

    I'm very grateful for my family. I have great parents who support me and have done way more to help me through life than they should have. My brother is my best friend and I feel lucky to have such a great relationship with him.

    I'm grateful that I didn't get married to the crazy-ex like she wanted. Pulling my head out of my ass and getting rid of her for good was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I wouldn't have the friends I have right now or many of the awesome experiences I've had if I had stayed with her.
     
  11. Iamme

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    I'm grateful for my awesome friends who know, even when I fall off the face of the Earth, which is something I do far more regularly than is normal, that I love them and I have their back and vice versa.
    I'm grateful for the guy I got landed with after all the shit the last two years, and how patient and understanding he is while I deal with the mental issues. Also that he doesn't mind the fact that I'm a bit of a gypsy and has agreed to move to Tibet for a few years in two years. Yay!
    I'm grateful for my job. My bosses are amazing and recognise my talents, nurture them and encourage them every day I go into work.
    I'm grateful for the fact that I'm actually happy to wake up and go to work every day again.
    I'm grateful for my health, such as it is, because it could be far worse.
    I'm grateful for the existence of profiteroles.

    I'm also grateful for the financial assistance the government gives me, so that I can study teaching and not have to burn myself out with working 40+ hours a week to live at the same time. That shit would burn me the fuck out.
     
  12. lust4life

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    I'm grateful I don't look at things the same way as ghettoastronaut anymore. I've approached life with both cynicism and gratitude and find myself a lot happier in gratitude. I wish I had the attitude of gratitude 100% of the time, but I don't. However, it's a great antidote for self-pity, the blues, etc.

    Life is going to serve up a turd sandwich every now and then and I can't change that. But I can choose how I respond and handle those challenges.
     
  13. ghettoastronaut

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    I really don't want to be mean to you personally in saying this, but you have done very little to persuade me that this isn't something with the intellectual depth of a short story we'd read in elementary school. Of course you choose how to respond to challenges; nobody else chooses for you, and your response is not pre-determined.

    It's not that I walk around with a stormcloud over my head all day or that I don't rcognize the awesome things in my life, but having an attitude focused on YOU and how awesome YOUR life is just doesn't strike me as a demeanour becoming of a serious adult. Be focused on ways to improve yourself; be focused on other people and ways in which you can help them; be a self-absorbed little shit. But there's something suspect about having to constantly remind yourself that things aren't so bad. If it came naturally, well, you wouldn't need to use a silly catchphrase like attitude of gratitude. Me I have music playing through my head all day. I don't say that I always have music in my head to make my day better, it's just there, like it or not.

    By way of example, I once saw an Orthodox Jew standing against the wall next to the bathroom door at school for a short time before alking away; he had clearly just used the bathroom. I later asked some friends about it and was told that Orthodox Jews have to give a prayer of thanks after using the bathroom. One friend (mostly not religious) said she thought it was great because it takes away all that negative energy and makes you realize that, hey, I'm healthy and my body's working normally. All I could think was "seriously, you need to be grateful and give a prayer of thanks to god after every shit?". I mean if you had a particularly good BM (clean break, no splash back, etc) then ok, maybe. But every one? No, that's servility, pure and simple.
     
  14. AlmostGaunt

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    Some days I am better at this than others. Today isn't one of those days, but I'll give it a shot anyway.

    Things I am grateful for:
    1.Pain-free days. Due to a laughably stupid medical issue, about 1 out of every 2 days is pain-free. Those days are fucking magic, and my mood on those days wanders into the euphoric.
    2. Pain-free nights. This sounds like the same thing, but believe me when I say it isn't at all. While pain in the day distracts you from otherwise enjoyable or necessary activities, pain at night is a shitty ordeal of sleep deprivation and helpless rage.

    Now, it looks like this issue is with me more or less forever, unless I have an operation with a slim, but non-zero, chance of incontinence. The pain sucks, but incontinence? Fuck that noise. Fuck it in its lax, uncontrollable ass. This was seriously fucking with my outlook on life and I was miserable. By purest chance, though, I came across this quote from Dr. Rob on the Advice Board:
    Dr. Rob knows his shit. Shifting my attitude from "life fucking sucks due to this medical bullshit" to "ok, I have this medical bullshit; it's going to be with me regardless, so I can either be a mopey piece of shit or I can enjoy life on my own terms" makes a bloody big difference in how I feel everyday. It's not perfect, and my adoption of it isn't perfect, but it helps. A lot.

    Other things I am grateful for:
    3. A good relationship with my brother. We have radically different lives, but if shit ever goes down, knowing he's got my back and I'll have his is a pretty amazing thing.
    4. Good friends.
    5. Good booze.
    6. Good books. Go on, read a good book (while drinking good scotch) and tell me it doesn't improve your whole day.
    7. Long walks on sunny days surrounded by puppies.
    8. Living in a bomb house with a table tennis table, a pool, and a spa.
    7. Ecstasy.
     
  15. lust4life

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    I wasn't trying to persuade you of anything, merely sharing my experience. However, perhaps if more kids paid heed to this lesson we'd have less of them walking around with these inflated senses of entitlement. As for your Jewish schoolmate, many religions incorporate gratitude into their foundations, but gratitude itself does not necessitate religious affiliation. I don't give thanks every time I drop a deuce, but I can and do respect the person and his faith who chooses to do so.
     
  16. Trakiel

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    Personally a lot of the time when people express gratitude for things it comes across as false humility and entitlement, which is why I don't like the attitude. Here's why: When think about it, I feel like I should be grateful for all the things in my life that I've been able to benefit from that I didn't have any active part in obtaining; things that I simply had the good fortune of being blessed with. But for things that I obtained through my own actions - I feel pride, not gratitude. I have good health because I take care of my body. I have a good job because I worked hard to get it. I have a good family because everyone in my family makes the effort to care for and support each other.

    But those things I didn't do anything to earn? Let's see, I'm white, I'm male, I wanted for nothing growing up. These are the things that I feel I should be grateful for, since they all provide me with tangible benefits that have no doubt been of assistance in allowing me to achieve the things I have. Yet when this question of "what are you grateful for?" hardly anybody ever lists those things, probably because thinking about it makes them uncomfortable. So they list a bunch of generic stuff that allows them to appear humble and grateful, while allowing them to ignore whatever privilege they may have. That's why this sentiment generally rubs me the wrong way.

    FYI- I'm not accusing anyone here of ignoring their privilege just because they didn't mention it; just why I don't like the "what are you grateful for?" sentiment in general.
     
  17. Pink Candy

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    Being in my line of work, I can truly say, without a doubt, I am eternally grateful I had a better life than 99% of my probies.

    Don't get me wrong. I grew up in one of the richest zip codes in America and had a first rate education. However, like most of the probies on my caseload, I was relentlessly bullied, had problems with school (grades), my home life was full of substance abuse and domestic violence, and, when I hit college, I tried all sorts of mind altering substances while dabbling in whorish behavior, on top of getting involved with a sadistic abuser. My parents did the best they could with their limited parenting skills, but most of my childhood and teenage years were spent alone, because their household was not built around having a kid - I had to find a way to fit into their lives.

    Somehow, I survived that stupid shit, survived a painful divorce, and started over alone in a new city not knowing a soul. I don't know why I was blessed with a thick constitution that prevented total collapse, I don't know where the strength to overcome came from and I sure as shit don't know how I ended up here instead of on someone's parole/probation caseload with 6 kids from 3 fathers. I just know I'm grateful for the life I live, the job I have, the man I love and everything that comes with the good and bad side of life.
     
  18. shimmered

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    Seriously? Something as simple as being glad that not 100% of your life sucks balls is going to be side-eyed by people here? Really?

    Come on.

    The fuck is wrong with things that wow, goddammit, people who are actually GLAD to have someone to come home to, a warm bed in which to sleep and fuck and cuddle, a cold beer to drink on a Friday night, and some good baseball to watch (or whatever your flavor may be) are being called servile and filled with false humility?
    I'm fucking GRATEFUL, and HAPPY, and GLAD that my boys leave me notes in the morning telling me they love me.
    I'm incredibly fucking grateful that my labors have come to fruition and I have a job I love.
    My brothers and I are extremely close - and it could have gone either way. We're three drastically different people, and it could have gone either way. Happy accident says that we're three people who, despite being so different, actually really like and respect one another. I'm fucking grateful for that.

    When my husband randomly walks past me and kisses me on the nose or pats my ass? I'm fucking grateful for that too, because he's taking a second of his time to let me know I'm on his mind, same as I try to do for him. (This really works better when we actually live together.)


    The things I've earned, I take pride in, but I'm also really fucking grateful that life didn't kick my knees out from under me and derail those earnings, as it has to so many other people.


    I've lost everything too many times to NOT appreciate what and who I have in my life. I don't take anything for granted, ever again.
     
  19. AlmostGaunt

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    I think you may have identified his gripe with the world.
     
  20. shimmered

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    It's all a matter of perspective.
    If you're not coming home to anyone - at least be glad some crazy bitch isn't making your life miserable.