In terms of dating, my serious relationships have ranged from 6 months older (but we were in high school and in the same class, so not really any difference except for the period when she had her license and I didn't) to 4 years younger. I generally prefer women who are about 2-6 years younger for relationships.....but the girl I recently started casually seeing will be 31 in September (I'm 28). It's not serious yet but I could potentially see it going there eventually. The girl I was interested in until I met her is 19, so it's not a hard-and-fast rule either way. I can't see myself seriously dating anyone older than the current girl and tend to prefer younger women for dating (I'm immature for my age--hell, at least I'm not so immature that I'm not self-aware--and tend to have more in common with them outside the bedroom) but have taken a liking to fucking older women....especially now that they're all reading 50 Shades of Gray and have decided they want a guy who really knows how to fuck them. As for hookups....if she's legal, hot, and single (or in an open relationship/marriage), who cares about age?? I've ranged from 8 years younger (27/19--not the same girl mentioned above) to 17 years older (26/43). The 43-year-old was a smoking hot dot Indian (striking resemblance to Priya Rai) I met in Montreal on New Year's year before last....I was home on R&R from Afghanistan* and she was employed with the UN in some sort of capacity. That was definitely a win for the good guys. * - And returning 2 days later.....being in Afghanistan for another 7 months made it depressingly easy to count exactly how long it'd been since I'd been laid, given that the last time had been on the morning of New Year's Day.
Actually had this conversation last weekend when I learned an acquaintance was dating an 18 year old and we basically were asking each other, what the fuck do they do on the weekends? Personally for me, it's flexible and situational like many have said. Being 26-27, I'd say my range is 21-29 with the sweet spot being around 24. Being able to get into a bar is kind of key and I find, with exceptions obviously, that around 30 alot of single girls have a sea change of sorts and start looking at younger dudes a bit more critically. I spent the end of college hooking up with 19-20 year olds so when I graduated I definitely looked to more older girls. My first two post college gfs were a year old and 3 years older. It taught me alot but at the same time, showed me I was in a very different mental place than them, especially as some of my similar aged friends started slowing down and I wanted no part of that. Recently I've been dating/pursuing/chirping at younger girls mostly because we have more in common socially as two of my best friends just moved in with significant other and others think my habit of going out more than one night a week is crazy. But at the same time, my biggest dating regret is it not working out with a 31 year old I went on 2 dates with but she couldn't get over my age. C'est la vie
I was 24. She just turned 18. As in, the week previous. Such a gravely serious girl. Precocious. Neurotic, insecure, popping pills. She tried to give off a coldness which was effective most of the time. There was safety in it for her. It was weird to see someone who could seemingly just turn off emotionally. You could not read her face. I think that's what attracted me to her. Our courting conversation was calling each other out on our transparent defense mechanisms. Never did find out what she was hiding; not that I deserved to know. We were a mess. Partly the immaturity of our ages, partly because we were both, simply put, broken. I was a shit head that let someone I had a crush on interfere. That's atypical of me. I am so not that douche. I was depressed over a friend's death and must have been sucking down a fifth every day, every other day. Not an excuse, but there it is. If I could take back one thing, it'd be that. I was a blip on her radar, but the idea of aiding to her neurosis kills me because I really don't think she will ever open up to anyone. Alt: I don't really have a limit. Younger, older, whatever. If they can take my humor and, god forbid, give it back to me, then that's the main thing I worry about. Generally, a 21 year old isn't going to do that.
I've always heard that rule as 'the youngest you can date without it being creepy is half your age plus 7. Half your age +2 is the outside boundary of fucking creepy. Until I was 27, I had never even kissed someone younger than me. I always preferred older partners. My ex wife was 8 years older than me. I had my first thing with a younger partner when I was 27 and then one or two more over the next year or two. Since then pretty much all of my partners have been younger than me. There are a couple of exceptions - some as old as mid 40's. The long duration partners are the ones who are closest to my age. Biggest age difference younger than me would be 12 years (I'm 30, she's 18), biggest age difference I know for sure older than me would be 33 years (I was 18, she was 51). I think there were some bigger older than me age differences with when I was doing swingers things - but I didn't know ages for a lot of those people.
I got a decent amount of "that shit ain't right" flack when I posted that I lost my virginity at 16 to a guy who was almost 27. Scootah, as always, you blow me out of the water and then some.
Southern Boy is 10 years older than me. I'm 32 (about to turn 33) and he's 42. Massive differences in music and movies. Doesn't get what I find funny, like The Simpsons or Family Guy. At least we agree on Animal House, Caddyshack and Ghostbusters. For the most part, we have the same sort of juvenile sense of humor. Being 42 and never married makes him a little more wary about marriage. We've been together a year and a half and he won't give me any kind of straight answer about marriage. He and I have discussed it, both of us want to marry each other. But if there's anything beyond "Yes, I want to marry you", he won't discuss it. If he was my age I think he'd be a little more open to the idea, methinks. He's more established, been in the same career for 16 years, has his own house, has a future plan with realistic goals. That's a big plus. Most guys my age have an idea but still kind of toy with "What do I want to be when I grow up?" As for the sex factor, best sex I've ever had. Incredible stamina. Knows his way around the vag. Good at everything - kissing, fondling, oral. Not bashful or shy about anything. On the downside, his libido isn't anywhere near what it was in his 30's. I know this, he's told me. Have I mentioned the dry spell for the last 10 months? It's getting better ever so gradually, but I think someone younger would still be fucking my brains out 3-4 times a week after 18 months. All in all, I'll take older over younger.
For me the largest age difference was when I was 20 and she was 37. I never slept with any girls that were younger than me, I've been with my wife for almost ten years, she's four years younger than me and that's probably the oldest I've been I guess. Age difference has always been a bit of a double standard. The older woman-younger man is frowned upon a lot less than vice-versa. It shows that it takes women a LOT more effort to seem creepy. Just ask Paula Poundstone.
The boyfriend is only 7 years older than me. I kind of have that "I can't tell what age you are" asian thing going on and I dress like an idiot teenager so sometimes it comes across as much weirder than it is. I think I've almost always dated older, and have only really dated 2 guys younger than me, but only by 2 years. I used to think it was because I have hella daddy issues, but maybe it's just because they're better in bed or something. Then again, I just turned 23 so dating more than 2 years younger than me would mean I can't take them drinking...so..you know...fuck that.
In all states? I was 17 when I lost it to a 24 year old in NY. I think that might be legal. In all fairness, he did wait 4 years for it.
Ok. Where, as a 13 year old, did you meet a 20 year old who wanted to sex you right then and there? I've got a friend who lost her virginity at 13 to an older man too. Where are you kids hanging out to find these creeps? 16 is pushing it, but 13 is pedophilia any way you cut it. This isn't Ancient Rome is it?
As of 2008, the age of consent in Canada is 16. Prior to 2008, it was 14. So angel was in the clear legally. But if you have to google whether it fits under age of consent laws, something is probably messed up. I mean, angel, I don't think anyone was giving YOU shit per se. Just...I wonder about the psychology of a 27 year old who thinks, "Yes, sticking my penis inside of a 16 year old seems like a wise idea." How did you meet this feller, and why couldn't he find himself some nice lady who had graduated high school? I noticed that almost every poster in this thread (and every person in the world...) thinks they are more mature than other people their age or younger (or at least people of the opposite gender). What a shocking trend.
I could never imagine being in a relationship with any guy that's around my age (24) or younger. They're not as mature as me, have no established career or a good income, etc. My fiance is 7 years older than me and I think our age difference is perfect. We have a lot in common and we're both willing to learn and try things each other are interested in. Admittedly, I can be bratty and he knows how to put me in my place. I don't see how a younger guy in his early 20's could tolerate me. I think the only time he actually gets annoyed with our age difference is when we go out to bars. I'm still at the age where I randomly get carded and then they are obligated to card him as well even though he clearly looks older than 25.
How is it all that different from a 51-year-old who sees an 18-year-old kid (who is also likely still in high school) and decides to drop her cooter down on his boy bits? I'm saying there's a bit of a double standard here.
Because one of those situations involves two legal adults, although I still find it kind of weird. If you were to hone in on just the gender switch rather than the difference of age, I would say it was equally creepy if not as viscerally repulsive. But yes, there is a pervasive societal double standard concerning this issue and gender. The distinction between an 18 year old and a 16 year old is potentially minimal and subject to variation, but the line has to be drawn at some point. Otherwise you slippery-slope yourself all the way down to children by way of "Well a X year old isn't that different from an X-1 year old." It's certainly possible that a 16 year old and 27 year old can have a healthy sexual relationship, but those are going to be outnumbered at least 5 to one by instances where there is something creepy or exploitative about it. What was the situation that led to a 27-year-old pursuing a 16 year old? Because it's hard to imagine that not being weird.
The developmental age and maturity gap between a 16 and 27 year is much greater than an 18 and 51 year old. That two years between 16 and 18 is huge. It's just startling that a 27 year old -- a year older than me, is going after a sophomore in high school. PS- Angel I'm definitely not trying to judge you either. I'm just looking at it from a socioclinical standpoint.
Guys be careful when you're talking about this topic to girls that were younger and talking older, they take it as attacks on them, not as attacks on the guy. It becomes "Why wouldn't he like me?" instead of "Why isn't he dating a girl his age, what the fuck is wrong with him?" which is what we're really asking. I went to H.S. and college with a bunch of girls that were dating guys with massive age gaps. Its not the age gap that controls me, its the massive social advantage one has over the other person. It always bothered the fuck out of me. I'd have huge arguments with some of these girls trying to prove how fucking weird and wrong it was for a 24 year old dude to be talking to a 16-17 year old girl. Then when we all got to 24 I went back to some of them and thought "So if I wanted to start dating a 16-17 year old now, what would you think of me?" then of course I got the "EWWW that's fucked up, what's wrong with you? They're children?" And I go off on a 20 minute rant throwing it back into their face. All you really have to do is "If you had a brother or a really close best friend who was that age, and he told you that story, how would you feel?" "How would you feel if it was your daughter?" Then the conversation gets interesting. My parents are 7 years apart, but they were married before and well each had their own shit going. I have no problem with age differences if everyone has their own income and their own place to sleep at night. If someone is significantly with mommy and/or daddy and has no income, then its just some unbalanced shit. Youngest: Me - 21 Her -18. Oldest: Me - 22 Her - 37. Didn't go past making out, she just got out of a relationship with a 25 year old guy and was coming to the realization right when she met me that she needed to start dating her age. How unfortunate.