The Wife's baby shower was last weekend, which means that pretty much this entire week has been dedicated to me, as the good husband/daddy, putting together a bunch of stuff in my free time. I've had to hang monkey curtains, monkey valances, monkey rocking chairs, monkey mobiles, monkey strollers (no monkeys on it, actually, but you get the point)- monkey EVERYTHING. If this kids grows up to hate monkeys, I won't blame him one bit. Hell, I'm starting to hate the little fuckers, and I'm not even the one who's going to be playing with all the shit. The theme was actually supposed to be monkeys and elephants, but I think we got 286 monkey gifts to each elephant one. I guess the baby-stuff-making industry is prejudiced against elephants and towards monkeys. Those bastards. So, if you can't tell yet, I need a little break, so I plan to get a little drunk tonight, and then eat and drink my face off at the local annual BBQ festival tomorrow. But before I can do that, I have to sit through one more day of head-doctor testing. Happy Happy, Joy Joy. But on a side note- after reading a mailbag entry earlier this week on Deadspin, I took the liberty of trying out the guy's suggestion and taking a shit while leaning back as I'm doing the business instead of doing what I and I'm guessing every other guy in existence does while taking a shit- leaning forward with your elbows on your knees (you heathens who poop standing up don't count. Buncha' weirdos, I'm telling ya). It was fucking TRIPPY. I don't know why, but it was one of the oddest experiences of my life. Seriously, yall need to give it a try. Even you jerks who poop standing up.
Sucker Punch in the VIP seats at the Icon theater tonight, tomorrow night it's the Stone Sour concert! The only crappy thing is it's all going to be done sober. This not being able to drink thing blows.
Tonight i will be at a bar getting drunk watching the Richmond Spiders take on Kansas and then the VCU Rams take on FSU (C'mon Rams!!). I currently live in Richmond (attending VCU's medical school) and this whole city is abuzz with the success these two teams have had this year, lets just hope they can continue it. Additionally, I will be celebrating UConn's great victory over SDSU last night. Kemba Walker is the best point guard in the country. No one else has done what he has done with a group of freshmen kids around him. When he knocked down that three in White's face with a few minutes to play left, it was a testament to everything he and UConn has accomplishes this year. God I love March........
Today is the birthday of one of my best friends, and that means getting really, really, ridiculously drunk. We're supposed to go to a bar in Uptown, and if my Prognostication Machine is operating properly, that means LOTS of shots. Which I don't particularly want. I want to kick back, have some beer and cigarettes, bullshit and people watch. Why, you ask? Because we're going to a damn winery tomorrow afternoon as a surprise to him. All his girlfriend and sister's idea. Oh well, getting drunk at a winery should be a first for me.
It's a flying weekend this weekend, but I'm headed, with 14 other people in 5 different Helo's, to Ft Lauderdale tomorrow. It's my instructors last flights with the squadron and it will definitely be one of those weekends we all will never remember. I plan on packing at least a handle of Jack into my luggage. Hooray!!!
I had a fucked up dream last night in which I was actually hanging out with one of the other members of the board, although I don't remember who it was, or if it was actually one of you or just a generic "other member". What I remember specifically though was watching him read and post on here in person and being amazed at how many rep messages he sent out. Literally every post he read was met with a rep comment, like he was the idiot savant of sarcastic, condescending rep's. it was a very odd dream. Anyway, I'm just hoping to get through this work day asap. One of my best friends is coming up from Dallas tonight to go to my Roommates girlfriends birthday party tomorrow night, but since his birthday was on St. Paddy's day, were having guys night tonight and we are going to get very drunk. I see multiple Irish Car Bombs in my near future.
Going skiing again this weekend. The guy I went on my avalanche course two weeks ago runs his own touring company; he's got two 15 person vans, loaded to the gills and we're headed down to Revelstoke tonight, then after skiing Revy all day, we're driving to Golden and hitting Kicking Horse the next day. Fuck yeah. The snow there is amazing right now; I'm so pumped.
Back at our old fishing camp before Katrina turned it into kindling and Blue Dog stole our boat we used to have a saying. "Rum don't count." So, the following morning when you were tallying up the beers had while fishing, the rum and OJs or Cuba Libres had after fishing, the unfortunate switch to gin before dinner, wine with dinner, and whiskey after dinner you didn't count the rum. I don't know why, except maybe it made all of us feel like we weren't such terrible drunks, but rum don't count.
See the Red Bull can there? It kept my bottle of vodka company all night. Amazingly I feel fine today... normally cheap booze and energy drinks late at night would lay me to waste.
I get to be one of the boys this weekend. I am going turkey hunting. I think it is going to be alot of fun. I have been stock piling booze all week in preparation for it. Should be interesting, I am the only female going, no others were invited. I don't know whether to feel special or scared. Oh well, I can't resist an adventure.