I'm a front to back (with a little extra deep scrubbing right on the brown eye), position B, fold the paper kind of a guy. Also, here is a handy guide for wiping: I stop at red.
You have just taken this thread to a whole 'nother level. How do you wipe? I mean, the obvious answer is back to front. But who the fuck does back to front? As a guy, how could you wipe towards your nuts instead of away from it? That shit makes me uncomfortable. Back to front. Fold that shit.
I still can't believe that people stand up to wipe their ass. What did your parents teach you when they were potty training you.
You can't sit on the toilet and wipe your ass without getting your hands in the water? Jesus, do you have Parkinsons or something? This seems inexcusable.
I prefer to lay a towel over the side of the tub, straddle it, and wipe my ass on it. Hands free, bitches! All joking aside, a buddy of mine who is a plumber was working at a morbidly obese woman's house. He was fixing something in the basement, but had to run up to the bathroom to run some water through the pipes. This is when he saw her ass-wiping towel draped over the tub, with numerous shit streaks on it. Think of that the next time you see an obese person.
Well I have pretty decent control over my hands, but old habits die hard. I feel like that's why my (and plenty of other parents) went the standing route, kids can be retarded and get shit on their hands.
So how are you sit wipers approaching the situation? Lift one ass cheek and wipe from the side or from behind reaching around your ass and down past the rim? Either way it just seems like you are totally limiting the access to the affected area. With a proper squat position the area is thrust out for a good proper wiping. I usually alternated from wet wipe to dry until nothings left, having a dry wipe last because I hate the feel of a wet asshole. Also usually doing the multi directional scrub in the last wipes to make sure I get a shot at all the area. I mean I gots lots of hair down there and I eat tons of wings, wet wipes are essential.
So you lean on one ass cheek? How the fuck far do you have to lean over to to get good access? I couldn't think with that limited clearance you could wipe effectively.
I see this argument all the time from stand wipers, and I have to ask: are you people retarded? Not "retarded" in the way a 13 year old girl thinks her parents are retarded, but honest-to-god-has-an-extra-chromosome retarded? Is your imagination honestly so weak that you just cannot conceive that leaning over to one side allows someone to wipe their ass effectively without dipping their hand in shit water? Because people do it all the fucking time whether you believe in it or not. Besides: it's easier to keep your pants up around your knees and off the filthy fucking floor if you sit.
Did I say you were dipping your hand in the water? I could only see that happening if you went in from behind and didnt raise your ass at all and were actually sticking your hand below the rim, even then only if they were those shitty public toilets where the basin isn't a deep tank and youd be dipping your balls in on accident as well. My main concern would be that only giving yourself that much clearance wouldnt be affective on one ass cheek. Standing just seems like the next logical step
This is ridiculous. I have taken many a shit in is various places in various countries(all sorts of toilets) and never once did I even come close to getting my hand near the water and I wipe from behind. For those of you who fear dipping your hand in the shitty water, do you also fear the boogeyman? And for those of you who routinely get shit on your hands when wiping your ass...god help you.
I can attest that the vast majority of the Mexican and Guatamalan immigrants at my work will fold the paper neatly and deposit in the TRASH CAN. I fucking swear, everytime I go into our warehouse bathroom I see a pile of shit covered TP sitting in the trash can. I even had a sign made that states that the American sewage system is perfectly capable of handling TP, but it was to no avail. I try to stay in the office now. Focus: I've always wiped standing, never though about it before and it's what's comfortable. My question to the sitting wipers... how do you examine the TP to make sure you got all the shit. I mean if you pull it up to look at it you have to worry about bumping it into something. Do you look between your legs and under your nuts? This just seems awkward. I only shit at home, so the pants on the dirty floor argument doesn't hold up for me. And to reinforce what many have said before, if you don't have wet wipes, you're seriously missing out.