Bailed my buddy out for DUI and he got another one THAT night. Spent 1000 bucks in less than 24 hours on bail.
From the fraternity days: cleaned up all manner of bodily expulsions, including using a lunch tray to "pick up" a turd. We took it back to the cafeteria as a victory protest. Fixed cars and motorcycles in the parking lot, including repairing a Nissan 240 turbo in some girl's (that my buddy was fucking) front yard while her husband offered us advice. I helped create a "lezzie-free-zone" in my friends house when she lived with all softball players, and even installed a dude-on-the-couch on the weekends. I wordlessly took blame for all manner of bad habits from smoking, drugs, to a collection of porn that would not be legal or morally acceptable if it were the end of days. I took the heat from a deranged wildebeast of a mother who swore her son was getting straight A's in college (he finished the semester with a .25, his nickname from then on). I have convincingly lied (which is damned hard for me to do) that one of my buddies was actually a cousin to a Backstreet Boy, so he could sleep with some moron with fake tits. I have also babysat a cat, a potbellied pig, a python and an iguana within a weekend. Probably my best was just after high school. I had saved up about $7000, which was damned near impossible, for a new car. My dad's friend, who I had adored since I was a kid, got busted for drugs and weapons and was about to go down hard. Dad liked the guy, but was neutral when it came to that kind of shit (dealing with construction workers, he's heard every plea you can imagine). He needed help, so he sold me his Harley for the $5000 he needed to pay his lawyer, he went down for 5 years, and when he got out, came to visit. He saw the bike in the garage, smiled a shit-eating grin and said, "Thanks for keeping it, but it's all yours now." I told him that for $5000, he could have it whenever he wanted it. Also, I came within a pubic hair of having an "immigration marriage" for one of my friends, but someone talked her out of it, because of the potential legal troubles.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Today Until It is Over Really? I have left quite a few blondes in my wake, and none of them had that much muff hair. Does she bleach her pubes or something? Seriously, blondes are just lacking in hair everywhere.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Today Until It is Over She is a "dirty" blonde and has always had thick hair. Don't know what to tell ya.
Helping break a car out of a towing impound was a thrill. He used gigantic homeade bolt cutters to explode the lock off the rear gate, pepper sprayed a guard dog and then gunned his car at the yard employee, it poked me with the question "Maybe you shouldn't hang out with people who are chemically imbalanced." This one could have got bad: A friend of mine who had a single-truck moving company asked me and another friend to help him only once: to move an abused young woman out of a regulated shelter and into her new place. He was right up front that her ex was a violent, unpredictable stalker and it took her a long time to leave her safe confines. The place has tight security and you can't get on the property let alone see who's coming and going out the front door, and we moved her after dark and wound drove the long way, and the fucking creep still showed up at her new place. The friend who owned the tuck and I stayed with her in the houseto call the cops-- as you can imagine she was completely beside herself. While my friend was on the phone and I was reassuring her that he was NOT getting in the house, I could hear my other friend screaming outside. It was screams of anger. I run to the front door, and he's standing on the fucking hood of the guy's car holding a garden rake like circus strength-game mallet. I was obviously interrupting the conversation because he shouted at the guy through the windshield "YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK I'LL DO?!?!" ...and *CRACK* he hammered the guy's roof with a full head of steam. The dozen or so rake points embedded in the roof. He brought it up again, twisted his body around and *CRACK* slammed it into the grill of the car. He leaped to the side as the car was thrown in gear and he blindly swung it again, clipping the rear of the car as it drove away. "You fucking idiot." I shouted at him "He could have run you over at any time. He could have been armed. What the hell is wrong with you?" He replies "Nobody was running me over. I've seen action movies, I was ready." The cop intecepted him pretty fast, breaking a restraining order with meth in your car is a HUGE No-No in this province, but that poor girl...Jesus. The fact that people are forced to live in fear by these evil bastard while living in glorified jails, it makes the stomach churn. Still, that could have gotten uglier than it was.