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A fight to end all fights

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Angel_1756, Jul 18, 2014.

  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    So then you had a hate sex 3 way? Fancy pretzel indeed.
     
  2. The Village Idiot

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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I have to say, whatever else may be problematic in my marriage, the wife and I never fight. About anything. It's weird, you would think two lawyers would be at it all the time, but we never do. Neither one of us is particularly tough to get along with, we pretty much don't care about the minor things, and the major things (money, etc.) we tend to agree on. I can't remember the last time the wife or myself raised our voices at each other. It may have happened once or twice, but quickly forgotten about. So forgotten about, I can't really remember if we actually did raise our voices.
     
  3. Angel_1756

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    In a friend-to-friend fight, I had an extensive shouting match with someone over whether or not Star Wars light saber chopsticks were misleading because no Jedi (or Sith) had multiple light sabers.

    My stance was, Who gives a shit, I think they're cool.
     
  4. Rush-O-Matic

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    Pew pew

    Before we comment, I think it's important you clarify which side you were taking in that argument.
     
  5. gamecocks

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    Not sure if it counts as a fight or not, but I've lost a "friend" over a football argument. Guy looked at me like I kicked his dog when I told him I didn't care for our mutual team's current QB, then blew up at me to the point where I thought we might come to blows. Last time I hung out with that guy.
     
  6. ghettoastronaut

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    Ugh. This brings up some ugly memories.

    Got into a fight because I had started watching an episode of a TV show without her. Apparently it had become our "thing".

    Her sister bought me instant coffee when I had specifically told her that I didn't want instant coffee. I was not sufficiently appreciative.

    I had a look on my face during dim sum. I ruined her meal.

    Her cat jumped from onto my balls. Moaning in pain, I attempted to make a joke about her doing that intentionally. Bad move on my part, as I was insufficiently considerate of her feelings.

    Outside of relationships, I'll get into discussions (not really fights) about drugs or other things as relating to my job. On the one hand, I have a near-Asperger's compulsion to correct people on things because, you know, facts are important, and this is kind of a personality flaw I'd like to work on. But on the other hand, if you think you're going to get away with saying "Plan B works by flushing out your uterus" in my presence, you are mistaken. You are further mistaken if you think you can back up your claim by saying "Well, I know how it works because my friend took it and had heavy bleeding for weeks". Or other things, like "the pill causes breast cancer", or "sucking on a venomous bite wound really does work".
     
  7. Gravy

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    The dumbest fight I ever had was over drinking game sportsmanship.

    In college my fraternity held an in-house caps tournament. Caps is a partner game similar to beer pong. It can get people very drunk very quickly if people are good at the game. So my partner and I faced off against my best friend and his partner in the first round. We lost. Sad times. However, someone had the idea of making the game double-elimination. So we were back in. We make it to the finals, and are once again facing my best friend and his partner. We win. They are pissed. We beat them again and win the whole tournament. Hooray for drunken fratboy honors. Except they were pissed that the rules changed mid-tournament.

    My buddy did not take losing graciously. He drank the final beer and then threw his cup at me. I did not take kindly to this and insults were exchanged. I said I would let it go if he shook my hand. He refused. This pissed me off even more, and more drunken posturing ensued. Finally, he agreed to shake my hand.

    I stuck my hand out. He then reached up, spit in his palm, and stuck it out.

    I said fuck you, and turned to walked away.

    As I turned, he slapped me from behind dragging his foul mouth fluid across my cheek.

    At this moment, I realized how stupid all of this was and basically just let it go. Anyone drunk enough to spit slap me definitely didn't need to be assaulted by me. It was just....sad. I stopped drinking for the night and contemplated my decisions up to that point in life, and was left with a mixture of bewilderment, regret, and a new-found appreciation for babywipes.
     
  8. toddamus

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    So you think you won because you kept walking away after he slapped you in your head after he just spat in his hand? I'm by no means a person who thinks fighting is cool or fun or anything like that, but if there's ever a to really try to set someone straight that may have been it.
     
  9. Gravy

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    I didn't win. It was a lose-lose.
     
  10. Noland

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    I got into a fight with a buddy in college over whether "wingspan" was the appropriate term to use to describe the width of The Millennium Falcon.
     
  11. stopthemonster

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    In college I apparently picked a fight with.... myself in a mirror... I was drunk and basically didn't like the way I looked at myself... my buddy has a picture somewhere....
     
  12. Juice

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    A good friend of mine likes to be argumentative over nonsensical topics, but in a fun way. Here are a few of our arguments, some of which devolved into screaming matches. These all occurred on long car rides:

    -We had a two hour discussion about what a cool bakery we could open and run, which turned into a loud debate about who would make better chocolate chip cookies based on our respective grandmothers' recipes.

    -We had an idea of a rehabilitation program for homeless people to reintegrate them into society that turned into kidnapping them off the street and indoctrinating them into a cult. An argument ensued regarding how many hours a day the homeless in our community would be "encouraged to review Scripture."

    -Recently we got into it about what the typical old lady looks like that works at any given town clerks office.
     
  13. Crown Royal

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    Raise your hand if you watched a friendship disintegrate right in front of you because somebody brought up politics. I have. A decade later, these two schmucks refuse to share the room because last time they were in one together it took five of us to keep them from killing each other because of cocksucking political hoo-hah. To this day, they refuse to budge a micrometer in considering maybe the other side might have a point too.

    There is no such things as "discussing" politics. Even friends who vote for the same people end up screaming at each other within minutes if it gets brought up. Throw booze into the equation and motherfuckers end up stabbing the ones they grew up next door to. It's poison.
     
  14. Nom Chompsky

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    I think the underlying point is that most arguments can be settled by me coming out of the shower.

    I have been embroiled in a long argument with idiots about which trio of star wars movies is the best. As if it's even a fucking question! Here's a hint: If one set of movies has Jar Jar Binks? That's the better set.

    i love pod racing and double sided light sabers
     
  15. mya

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    While I was in college, I was studying with a then boyfriend. He looked at me with pure contempt and said "I hate the way you highlight". We didn't last much longer than that. But to be honest, I think I did change my highlighting technique after that (use the skinny side - for those who don't want to make the same mistake)
     
  16. lostalldoubt86

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    In college, I got into a 3 month long argument with one of my roommates over toilet paper. There was no underlying passive aggression. She just kept using three times as much toilet paper as my other roommate and I combined, but refused to buy any. At one point, the other roommate and I started hiding toilet paper and leaving public restroom grade paper in the shared bathroom. It got to the point that campus housing had to set up mediation for the three of us because we were fighting over toilet paper too much.

    I feel like this is an issue many people have with their first roommates....
     
  17. D26

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    In 14 years together and nearly 8 years of marriage, my wife and I have had two major yelling/angry "fights." More often than not when angry we go away a bit, do what we need to to vent, then talk it out.

    One fight was legit. I forgot to renew the plates on my car, and got pulled over. My wife flipped her shit on me and locked me out of the apartment for a few hours.

    The other, though, was total bullshit. It was over laundry detergent.

    She sent me to Walmart to find buy laundry detergent. She has a very specific type of a specific brand she liked. I get to the aisle, and there is literally an entire aisle of this shit, all brand and types. I spend a solid 40 minutes going bottle to bottle and don't find it. I find an employee and ask, and they say they're out. I call my wife and inform her of this, but she flat out won't believe me. After a 10 minute argument of her telling me I wasn't looking hard enough and accusing me of lying about asking, I just hung up on her, grabbed he closest one, and took it home.

    The argument continued when I got home for another 20 minutes before my wife stormed out and slammed the door. I sat back and worried a bit. I knew she was going to Walmart, and if she found it I would never, ever hear the end of it.

    She comes in an hour later and doesn't say a word at first, just silence for 20 minutes. She then apologizes for yelling at me, and I apologize for getting too heated.

    Then, she walks away, but fuck that. I say "so... You went to Walmart, didn't you?"

    She sheepishly says yes.

    "They didn't have it, did they?"

    She says no.

    See, if they'd have had it, she would have come home and rubbed my face in it for MONTHS. She cannot stand being wrong, and having someone question her. It is far and away her biggest pet peeve, and when she gets into a fight like that and can prove she's right? She'll rub that shit in for months, non stop (see: aforementioned license plate debacle). This time, she was wrong, but I had to call her on it. To her credit, she wasn't angry I called her on it, and I dropped it after that.

    I can honestly say we haven't had a big, yelling "fight" since then, and this took place back in 2007ish. We're just not fighters like that.
     
  18. Currer Bell

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    No, that's not legit. In my first marriage I might have received the flipping of the shit. In my current marriage I would get, "Man, that sucks." I love my husband.

    The stupidest fight that I can actually recall the genesis of is when in 9th grade my friend was over at my house and we were making sandwiches. He grabbed two pieces of bread, one of which was the heel. I love the heel and he knew this, and given his lack of preference for the heel it seemed odd that he would take it. Usually I am an even-tempered and rational person, even at the age of 14, so I don't know if I was on my period or hangry or a combination of both. I also think part of it was that as an only child, I was very much used to not having to share or take turns. Anyway, I flipped out, refusing to listen to his explanation that he didn't do it on purpose (shades of the Louis CK dishwasher sketch I mentioned in another thread). It ended with me throwing the heel at him and him giving me the WTF look and walking out. We didn't talk to each other for months and I felt terrible. I eventually went to him and apologized for my behavior, he forgave me and we were back to being friends.
     
  19. BakedBean

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    In my experience there are very few situations where it's reasonable to flip shit (like discovering your significant other left your child in a hot car), most times it's a sign of immaturity or worse.

    My ex-girlfriend was a master at finding insignificant bullshit to start a fight over. As the relationship started to hit the rocks she told me at least twice that I just wasn't "passionate" about our being an item. The trouble was that I'm not a confrontational person, and I hate arguments - I'd rather take some time and simmer down in order to talk things out like grown ups. It didn't take long to realize that her idea of passion was arguing back with her at high volume - my way of resolving problems only pissed her off more, and in fact the only time I lost my cool was the only time what I said stopped the argument. I've lost count of all the examples, but here are some.

    Me: I saw a Lambourghini in the parking lot today.
    Her: Oh who gives a shit?! I don't care about some stupid fucking expensive car!

    Me: What do you want to watch?
    Her: Whatever, I don't care.
    I turn on Venture Brothers.
    Her: What the fuck, you can't ask me if I want to watch Venture Brothers before you turn it on?

    Another time I put together a vacuum cleaner she bought while she was assembling a guinea pig cage. When I told her I put it together I got a sarcastic, "Congratulations, you put a vacuum together" as thanks.

    The last argument was also the last straw. She hated the idea of anyone knowing something she didn't almost as much as she hated being wrong about anything, and me recognizing actors in movies was one of her hot buttons. So when one night I came over and she was watching a Sophia Loren movie, my pointing out an actor from The Longest Day resulted in, "You know what? I don't care." Telling her she was being rude only turned her into a shrieking Tasmanian devil, who told me I could always leave. So I told her that was a great idea, and did.

    The irony of the whole thing was that she always was saying what a crazy bitch her mother was without being even slightly capable of introspection. (In my defense, the entire relationship wasn't like that, it only started after about 8 months in - it lasted maybe another 6 weeks after that).
     
  20. xrayvision

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    You sir, dated a fucking cunt.