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A dolla makes me holla

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Aetius, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Please, that town has a population of about 1000. The nearest Walmart is 45 minutes away. They're shopping at the local gas station or Dollar General.
     
  2. downndirty

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    Seconded.

    I had to google this bag of fuck to make sure it wasn't in South Carolina (my home state). It wasn't but it very well could be. I'm at Myrtle Beach (ugh) and every other clan of carbohydrate vacuums that waddles by could easily be these incredible fucks.

    People from other countries ask me about evolution and obesity and Jesus wide-eyed and terrified. Then I realize they are watching shit like this on tv and think Ricky Bobby is national hero. Fuck this anti-culture, anti-intellectual, moronic glorification of a group of people whose previous aspirations in life were to not swallow pig shit on their way to the barn. I'm going to go read a book and do some push-ups.
     
  3. lust4life

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    I don't think we're in any danger of the South rising up again.

    Wait for the spinoff: "Honey Boo Boo goes Hillbilly Handfishin'"
     
  4. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    It's comforting to feel safe and secure from these oxygen thiefs. Where is chromium-laced well water when you need it?

    It's not just that these people exist that makes me lose faith in mankind. It's the fact that people would be interested in in watching the lives of these walking thorazine ads, whose sole purpose in life is to raise their kids on pop tars, Tang and proper coat hanger-abortion technique. Whoever green-lighted this show should be slathered in iodine, spine-hung from a meat hook and viscerated with a bone saw. I say that with a straight face and sound mind.

    America, I love you but what the FUCK, man? You're the nation that gave the world the airplane, the lightbulb, the automobile and Billie Holiday. You have incredible, peerless educational institutes like Columbia, Harvard and William & Mary. With everything you have going for you over the past 300 years, why are you so determined to prove to the world that your country is a gigantic forest where Ned Beatty is being perpetually sodomized by hillbillies?

    Puh-LEEZE. How will they rise? On a stack of Thunderbird empties?
     
  5. subgeniuschick

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    I don't watch a lot of TV. And whatever the hell a Honey Boo Boo might be is exactly why. What ever happened to TLC anyways? Oh fuck nevermind.

    "We'ee'r not Rednecks - w'all have are teeth don we".

    Yep. Whatever.

    Problem is these stupid shows are so hard not to watch because they are completely bloody insane! I once watched an episode of "Hoarders" w/ the Rat guy. I couldn't change the channel because I just couldn't believe it was real.
     
  6. Crown Royal

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    "TLC" has to be the most flagrant false advertising term since "Diet Coke". We're talking about the same network that made a reality show about Sarah Palin and we're supposed to believe that it deserves the name "The Learning Channel." Jesus. I've learned more from watching my cat chase a laser pointer up my living room drapes.
     
  7. JWags

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    Reality TV is spinning out of control. People used to bitch about the Real World being dumb, basic, and pathetic, but that show now stands like a shining beacon of normality and social science compared to this shit. Everytime I pull ratings, there is newer and newer shit I just can't believe, and TLC is one of the most guilty. Its one thing to follow Ice Road Truckers or crab fishermen, but Lizard Lick Towing (yep, and actual show about a towing company), Small Town Security (in that clutch time slot right after Breaking Bad), Swamp People? What the fuck is this shit. This is why your favorite dramas can't stay on the air. Reality TV is WAY cheaper to produce and idiots all over America will watch it. Don't blame the person who greenlit it, their job is to produce programming that sells advertising, hence what will get the most eyeballs. Blame the retarded American public who likes watching this trash.
     
  8. Parker

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    Do you watch TV shows Netflix Streaming or Hulu?

    I'm not sure if I was high or not, Jwags can have some insight into this, but I read that the demographics of people who watched these shows were middle high to high class people who made a ton of money. Something about their jobs are so high pressure and so hardcore, they do not want to use one fucking braincell when they get home to watch TV. This is a vague memory, this could be bullshit. Like its not the hillbillies that are watching hillbillies on TV.

    Also, as I was posting this, I just heard a commercial for "American Gypsies" on National Geographic, aka Nat Geo. I don't even fucking want to know.
     
  9. subgeniuschick

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    I really didn't think anyone 'liked' watching this shit. More like a train-wreck you can't turn away from.

    Question: I know there was once Neilson rating system where they selected a cross section of the general population and offered them perks for being able to install a little box to spy on their TV watching habits. I was one of those families in 1995. What happened to this system? Do they still do this?
     
  10. Durbanite

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    So true. I had written up a post about the producers' and network execs who green-light this crap, but both them and the American public is at fault for this scourge of "reality" tv, and that WGA strike of a few years ago which allowed "reality" tv to gain a stronger foothold (and caused the cancellation of several other TV shows in the process) - the networks then had to buy this shit or risk having empty air time, which the advertisers would not like. What always makes me laugh is that the majority of these "shows" employ writers anyway - hey, fucknuckles, if a show has a writer, then it isn't reality, you fucking idiots!

    The only reality show I watch now is Mythbusters, mostly because blowing stuff up never gets old, and the robots they build/adapt are pretty cool, too. I am saddened to see this Holla Holla fuckface nonsense is also produced by Discovery. I tired of The Amazing race (the only other one I watched, due to the awesome and interesting locations it was filmed in and around) due to the shitty, predictable "plots" that kept cropping up - like The 2 Douchebag Couples that you want to set on fire with a flamethrower and general focus on the "players" who almost always sucked hard to some degree, the disgusting food that was prepared as tasks to complete much more often than early on in the series (this isn't fucking Fear Factor, which is also a steaming turd)... I could go on but you get the gist.

    The only reason to own a TV now is to watch sport - now most of that is reality (and mostly unscripted - exception being WWE).
     
  11. Nicole

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    Yup, Netflix streaming or DVDs. The Wire, The Office, Breaking Bad, Ken Burns' documentaries.

    That was cathartic, just thinking about the good shows that are out there.

    It is a little discouraging that so many foreigners on this board have watched our crap American TV.
     
  12. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Fixed that for you.
     
  13. zyron

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    You all are just haters.

     
    #33 zyron, Jul 24, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. Crown Royal

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    Christ, I'm so sick of this lame excuse. There is no "train wreck" that people "like to watch unfold". They watch these shows because they LIKE them. You WATCH Jersey Shore because you CARE about the useless, impossibly stupid cockclowns that inhabit it. You ROOT for them. Why would anybody tune in to something that irritates them?

    Nobody watches or listens to shit they don't like or enjoy in some way. Except the FCC.
     
  15. CharlesJohnson

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    Look at those fucking mugs. They look like Dick Tracy villains: Ham Head and Flesh Scarf. White trash behavior aside, I am in AWE of how remarkably ugly they all are. Fuckin' Morlocks should be in the earth's crust pushing some kind of infernal machinery that powers the Light World.

    No 6 year old should have a gut she can flop around around in public as if it was a sack of jelly. As a parent, they should be ashamed. Makes me wish public flagellations were still de rigueur.

    This is not the America we want to show the rest of the world; an America that renounces all dignity for the attention of a very small viewing public, lauds ignorance, and can barely speak. Dumb, fat, boorish, opportunists mush mouthing their way to the nearest feed trough. Like militant Islam tarnishing a beautiful culture of service, homage, and liturgy, Southerners need to excise the buboes of reality TV. Instead of honest, hard working, THINKING people that want to raise their kids with dignity and pride, you're being perceived as the xenophobic hate mongers relishing in stupidity and larded foods the world foolishly thinks of all Americans. This doesn't help anyone. Cajun Pawn Stars, Swamp People, Catfish Noodler, Duck Dynasty. Anyone seeing a pattern? We're rewarding white trash. 20 years ago these people would have been mocked mercilessly for a half season then taken out back and given stick time.

    These people, these shows, should not be celebrated. Everyone involved should be beaten within an inch of their lives then banished to Monster Island.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    I don't know why it doesn't collectively anger you guys more. I'm talking white-knuckle, puple-with-rage fury. In a world-wide economic crisis your pop culture has lately been embracing the dinks that are the ass-end of society. It's like watching American Pimp: a bunch of criminally stupid and subhuman tools that think they know what's best for themselves and others around them, preaching right to the camera things that would make Helen Keller look like Nikola Tesla.
     
  17. PIMPTRESS

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    We entertain ourselves at the expense of others. It's the American Way. Unfortunately, some people believe that being the entertainment is the same as validation.
     
  18. Veovis

    Veovis
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    That beast simply needs to be left in a pasture with the other cattle.

    Good grief I wish this was some bad joke. I thought the first time clip I got sent was basically like the retarded crazy auditions for American Idol that were to mock and move on. "Hey everyone look at these worthless people and have a laugh"

    You have the equivalent of a fat William Hung and instead of a comedic mocking album you actually asked "Hey do ya'll got some dumber relatives that want to act stupid for Twinkies."

    I can just imagine what wonderfully insufferable asshats these people will be for the rest of their lives.

    "I'm famous you know I was on TV"

    "No you weren’t you were on TLC's decade long real Reality show "Who want to be a retardinaire""
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    There's the Catch-22. What if someone in our intelligentsia decides to undertake a righteous crusade? They make the news... and instantly give these mouth breathers free press, not to mention a whole slew bleeding hearts accusing you of intellectual bullying/classist warfare. Even if these white knights hate the show themselves, they'll demure like the spineless "even the losers get a trophy" ninnies they are. We Americans just like to whine instead of having a real sack.
     
  20. subgeniuschick

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    Well that certainly explains Dancing with the Stars.