I was watching Nat Geo's Taboo - Prostitution last night and everything was as expected until they threw me a curveball: disabled johns. The segment featured a guy from the UK who was in a wheelchair and had no use of his legs and very limited use of his arms (ie: couldn't feed/clean/dress himself, but could still operate his motor chair--and, yes, his dick worked). Recognizing that his son was now a man in his thirties with obvious sexual needs and desires, the man's father took him on a trip to the Netherlands, where prostitution is legal. He even helped him find a place that was wheelchair accessible and serviced the handicapped. While he admitted that it certainly wasn't the normal father-son trip, it was something that he felt he needed to do for his son. After visiting the brothel, his son said that he hopes to have a long term relationship in the future, but that he has desires that need to be fulfilled until that happens. I also learned that the Netherlands offers a grant to its disabled citizens so that they can have sex 12 times a year (at this point, my girlfriend asked if I was planning on shooting my leg off and moving.) Up until this point, they had covered high class brothels and the crack addicted street hooker, and my girlfriend was asking why the hell we were watching it. When the disabled segment came on, she quieted down and we talked afterwards. I asked her how she felt about it and if she had a disabled son, what she would do. Her response was that she would try to go out and find an ugly, sweet girl who would be willing to bang her son. I countered with, "Well what about your son? Why does he have to be with an ugly girl if he can go to a hot hooker." Her reply was pretty logical. "If he's that disabled, he might as well face the reality of the situation early on: he won't be getting any hot girls." I said that I'd bring him to the hooker until he found someone. If he's led an already-difficult life with a crippling disability, then he deserves to have a hot girl rub all over him if he wants that. Then I asked what if she had a disabled daughter. "What, so I can go out and get her some strange hooker dick?! No, no way. Vibrator all the way." I proposed a kind of motorized sex machine that her daughter could control and that's unfortunately where the conversation dissolved and she went into the kitchen to start cooking dinner. Focus: If you had a disabled child with full mental capacity who had reached that age where you knew that they had sexual desires that were not being fulfilled, what would you do? Would you search out an ugly person with low standards, or would you pursue legalized prostitution? Does the gender of the child matter? Would you be more willing to support your son paying for sex than your daughter?
I'd do what that father did for his son with an understanding that this is just to get his rocks off. Then find ways for that kid to get out and get social. There is someone for everyone. For my daughter, I'd definitely go the vibrator route or get one of those fucking machines with the same understanding that they still need to get out and talk to people because there is someone for everyone. Guy sex toys are rarely appealing. While women have a whole stable of things.
How do any of you think if you had a daughter in this situation, she would be able to satisfy herself with a vibrator? She'd get a male prostitute for sure. It's the human intimacy and closeness that she would crave, not just an orgasm here and there.
Theres http://www.dating4disabled.com website I just found. Or http://www.whispers4u.com It runs the gamut of retardation. You can pretty much have anything from your standard palsies, to paralysis, and even probably amputees. My only concern is that, while you have a partner, are they even able to get the other one off? Nobody wants some goofy contorted handjob. And what if something bad happens like a busted colostomy? I really think a hooker with some limited nurse training would be the best bet.
I agree, that would be a large part of it. But as Parker said above, I'd have no problem if they just went to get their rocks off. I would have a problem if all that intimacy and closeness led to an emotional connection, and inevitably, an awkward conversation where my son professed his love for Chastity. They'd need to know that their emotions would need to be kept in check. EDIT:
If I had a daughter that was a little person, I'd tell her to stay away from guys with websites and checklists. Now that I think about it, I'd also say to stay away from any website that includes the word "chan." This issue actually comes up a lot when parents have mentally challenged grown up children (read, daughters). I'm not sure what I would do. I figure if my son wanted to be a perv, he'd probably have to do it on his own time.
Now that I remember it, there was a court case some time ago where parents wanted to have a mastectomy performed on their mentally retarded and handicapped 14 year old daughter to protect her from molestation and to make taking care of her easier (dressing / undressing, so forth). I guess that more or less solves the issue if your kid isn't all home upstairs. I would hope that any of my children would have good enough friends or peers to take care of this shit for them. You can still have friends if you're physically handicapped, right?
They sell huge jars of peanut butter at Costco. Get a dog. You do the math. Seriously though I agree with Roxanne. Get a professional that knows what they are doing and aren't afraid of whatever the disablement is. Male or female, I'm of the same opinion for either. Go get them a pro that gets paid to be in that specific situation, like the kids Dad did for him.
Hey we're not talking about long term relationship and human closeness, we're talking getting rocks off. And with limited use of arms. That's where the fucking machine comes in, just lay back and enjoy. Like I said, for that other emotional and intimacy stuff, I'd push her to get out the house, I did say there is someone for everyone. Believe it or not, guys care about human intimacy and closeness too.* *right?
If my son was born retarded or disabled, I'd just have him neutered without him knowing it. Problem solved. Besides, the last thing we want is more of their kind in the world. Focus: Seriously though, I saw that episode, and speaking as a father, I'd do that for my son. I don't know about going all the way to Holland, but I'd definitey get him some action somewhere. Still, I am thankful every day that he WASN'T born disabled.
I'm not particularly shocked by this article. A few years ago I read an article about a kid who was 15, a virgin, and didn't want to die as such. So he took himself over to a hooker. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/595894/posts" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/595894/posts</a> Now I'm wondering how common this kind of thing is. *edit* Alright, looks like the dad wasn't involved.
If my child had been retarded or disabled, they would have been thrown into the river like last week's garbage. Or beaten into normalcy. I fail to understand this discussion.
My best friend has always known she wanted to be a doctor. She's now in her third year of medical school, but while she was in college, she worked as an assistant to a guy in a wheelchair. He was pretty limited in his mobility (I can't remember if he was a full on quadriplegic or just limited as far as upper body stuff, but I know he had no lower body mobility), so she did everything from cooking to helping him with things like changing his colostomy bag and, yes, even things like bathing. About a year after she started helping him, he started dating a girl in a wheelchair. She had full use of her upper body and limited lower body strength However, the girl had very little medical knowledge as far as helping her boyfriend with the things that my friend was assisting with, although she was willing to learn. The guy asked my friend one day if he would help he and his girlfriend be intimate. From what she told us, she would help get the guy undressed and into the bed with his girlfriend. At that point, she would step out and let them do whatever it was that they did, but she would stay close by so that if anything happened, she would be able to assist them (which, as far as I know, never did). Afterwards the girlfriend would come ask my friend to help with getting her boyfriend redressed and back into his wheelchair. My friend said she never felt uncomfortable with this- she was already seeing the guy naked when she helped with his bath, and she felt like she was helping him feel more human by allowing him to have that sexual connection. Anyway, the guy ended up married to the girl he was dating. My friend still stays in touch with him, and while I'm not sure how they work the sexual stuff now that she's not assisting him, there are people who aren't hookers who will help make that happen. EDIT: If anyone wants me to ask her any more questions, I'll try to get her to answer, although she's pretty quiet about it just to protect the confidentiality of the people she's worked with.
To my cripple son I'd give a buttered bagle. To my daughter, she'd be a nun so it wouldn't be an issue.
My sister-in-law-to-be is mentally handicapped, and this is a real issue. My fiancee and I moved her up to be with us last January, and for the past year, she has been a part of a Medicaid day program with limited supervision. We recently found out that apparently one of the students with severe behavioral disorders was borderline molesting her in between classes. We actually had to take her to a clinic to get a pregnancy test. Do you know how fucked up that is? On a lighter note, this would make a solid South Park episode, a la Cartman's Special Olympics episode. Only instead of pretending to be retarded to get into the special olympics, he would pretend to be retarded to get into a whore house.
I doubt a crippled girl would have any trouble getting laid. Lots and lots of guys with weird fetishes.