The Hills Have Eyes. That scared the absolute shit out of me. Like, "go home and sleep with every light on" scared
As part of my never ending yet sporadic efforts at self improvement, I decided to go run at the local high school track. Almost immediately my left ankle and both knees started protesting. "what the fuck is this? Are we running? Why the fuck are we running? Screw this shit" I persevered and got a mile in. Now I'm wisely healing the aches with a bourbon. This is something all my body parts can agree on
Instead of simply grabbing a bottle of water on the way to bed, my wife always steals the one I keep on my nightstand. It's a minor annoyance, like putting the toilet paper on backward, but one that needs correcting. Accordingly, I just put vinegar in her bottle of water. I imagine this will go over quite well.
Made some porterhouse and top sirloin tonight. Nice tasty Angus, but far overpaid for just half of him. [Buying my meat on the hoof]
George Zimmerman hasn't been getting enough attention lately so he retweeted a photo he took of Trayvon Martin's corpse. And people ask why so many want him to lose.
Fucking Zim-Zam. It's so weird how many people rallied behind him at first, and every display of his behavior since the incident, he's been uncovered to be a titanic douchebag.
He's basically done all except for laugh in people's faces about it. The whole thing is probably in his spank bank.
Just read an article about Zimmerman. The Amazon ad at the bottom of the page recommended the book: "Tips On Being An Effective Neighborhood Watch by George Zimmerman." Touche.
I was very impressed this weekend when a guy we kicked out of the bar got in a fight outside the bar and was able to withstand being tazed 3 times before he quit fighting the cops and was then hog tied and hauled away after the paramedics checked his heart out. His girlfriend then freaked out and ripped her dress off and started fighting a female officer, nothing like a sobbing white girl with boobs hanging out getting cuffed and stuffed. To make things better it was my wifes birthday and her parents and friends had a table at the bar and were able to witness the entire thing. Luckily the bouncer and I did not escalate the situation, curse at anybody or throw any punches, the police reviewed all the tapes and gave us the thumbs up. We will of course have to testify. If you go on vacation to Scottsdale, do not do a bunch of drugs and get in a fight with the police, you will miss your flight.
I guess the one hit wonders theme fizzled out? Sorry, shegirl. But, you're into hot girl volleyball, though, right? I feel like if the wall that Trump is proposing featured this sort of border dispute, maybe with live webcams, he'd get more votes.
I don't find those women attractive. I think it's because I'm pretty sure if I tried to masturbate to the thought of them, they would still reject me.
I thought this was part of masturbation; there's no consent involved save for the consent between the interior side of your knuckles and your genitals.
Oh, jesus fuck. That's the joke. My self esteem is so bad that women reject me in my fantasies. Red dot me to hell, you fucking fucktards. I'm going to West Virginia for work this week and I'm pretty sure that will be worse.