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8 Acts all Men Should Conquer

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mad5427, Apr 15, 2010.

  1. mad5427

    mad5427
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    I've got 4/8 as well. Have not done the penis on the hot tub jet.

    Now, my wife is going to have a baby in the next few weeks. After we go at it again, does that count as having sex with a MILF? That would bump me up to 5.
     
  2. CharlesJohnson

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    I'm not going to have a fuck on my parent's bed. That's fucking wrong. How would you like to come home to your dad jackhammering your mom with all this pussy juice and Bengay flying around onto your sheets and walls? Turn about is fair play; probably on the "8 things old men need to do" list.

    4/8. Hot tub jet penis action, finger in the ass, fatty. Well, how fat we talkin'? That file photo fat or well beyond that cute chubby look? Fuck it, my first girl ballooned up enough. I'm counting it.

    Strangely enough instead of "Threesome" we have "jerk off in the woods." I guess it's kind of primal. I was just bored. My uncle lives out in North Florida surrounded by a nature preserve. There's shit to do there but jack off onto a toadstool while swatting away flies the size of bowling balls.

    I am highly interested in snagging a MILF and having some anal. The rest of the list doesn't much interest me.
     
  3. McSmallstuff

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    7/8 I have never pulled one out in the woods. And why should banging a fatty be something to try?

    If you drink at all and like sex with women, then you will eventually hook up with a land whale. I think it's kind of like saying a Jager bomb is something you absolutely have to try. If you go to a bar more than once in your life it's inevitable.
     
  4. Rush-O-Matic

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    WTF? I thought every dude had done this.

    7/8

    Did the hot tub jet once in an outdoor tub at a ski resort condo. Realized the next day that there were security cameras.
     
  5. epsilon

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    3/8. I have jerked off in the woods, banged a fat girl and had a few one-night stands.

    There is no fucking way I would have sex in my parent's bedroom. There's something creepy about that room and I don't see how I could get hard knowing my father doggystyled my mom on the same bed.

    Anal is on my to-do list. I just have to convince the girlfriend. So far she hasn't been very receptive.
     
  6. dewercs

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    7/8
    never on my parents bed and never will that happen.

    Milf is amatuer hour, I dated a 37 year old grandmother.
     
  7. BL1Y

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    6/8

    Do I get a bonus point because the MILF was married?
     
  8. Bob Trousers

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    All eight. I finally win at something. I think.

    Just for the sake of the focus, the fat girl/anal/finger/woodland jerk and MILF were all the same woman.
     
  9. Parker

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    Hot-Tub, Parent's Bed (Cars, Couch, Guest Room, the hot tub was their hottub, fuck everywhere in the house we could fuck), and one night stands of course. I definitely keep joking about the big girl, haven't been able to pull it off. That girl in the picture is too big. I never want a girl to touch my ass, ever, I don't care. Definitely want the Milf victory. Not a huge fan of wilderness.

    No threesome on the list? Pretty silly. What about best-friends?
     
  10. MoreCowbell

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    Surprisingly only 4/8 (anal, woods, hot tub, 1 night stand). Why surprisingly? Because I honestly have never fucked a fat chick.

    Yeah. That probably won't last. Maybe I can fuck a fat mother and cross off two.

    Glad I'm not the only one weirded out by the parents' bed idea. I mean, I have a bed of my own in the same house; why would I want to share a sex locale with my own father and mother? That's just weird. I don't even think I'd be ABLE to do it; the weirdness is too much. "Oh this is nice....hey MoreCowbell, your mother was probably doing this not too long ok....Oh, I quit."
     
  11. Jimmy James

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    7/8.

    With two women. The MILF was a 29 year old ex-army wife. Her kid was 10. She was my one night stand too. And a fattie. The other girl was my first. She let me put it in her pooper and surprised me by going two knuckles deep in mine. We had a frank exchange of ideas.

    I turned the woods behind my grandmother's house into a forensic nightmare. And my apartment complex has a hot tub.

    The end.
     
  12. E. Tuffmen

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    6/8. Never did it on my parents bed because that's just fucking creepy. Sorry. Never did the hot tub jet thing because I never thought of it before. Thanks. Now I have to add it to my to do list. Fuckers.
     
  13. shabamon

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    Has no one here seen "Out Cold"?

    4/8. Fat girl, rub out in the woods, parents' bedroom, and one night stand. I had a girlfriend ask me if I wanted to try finger in the ass. Apparently 'Cosmo' told her that all guys love it. I said to her that I would burn our relationship to the ground before anything goes in my ass.
     
  14. Guy Fawkes

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    Ditto. ?
     
  15. Queen-Bee

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    7/8. I have NOT pleasured myself with the hot tub jets.

    Regarding anal and digital penetration, I have given as well as received. Does that garner me extra points?
     
  16. The Good Doctor

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    Yahtzee. 8/8.

    EDIT: The only interesting of the eight is the MILF. Not only she was a MILF, but she was introduced to me by my best friend, whom she used to babysit. I had to call him later that night to tell him that I'd banged the babysitter he'd fantasized about for years.
     
  17. kuhjäger

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    I don't have access to the list at work, but I have gathered what the list was.

    1. Parents bed: Check. I have done it in my mom's bed, and other girl's parents' bed. And in a couple of their bathrooms.

    2. Anal: Gotten it into the hole, but never gotten off from it.

    3. Finger in my hole: Yes. I was getting a BJ from a girl I was seeing at the time, and she decided to stick it in. It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

    4. Woods: I have jerked it in the woods many times camping, and did it in the jungle on Kauai.

    5. Hot Tub Jet+ Penis: I have tried this, but never found the point. Didn't feel that great.

    6. Fatty: I refucked an ex girlfriend once who had put on like 35lbs.

    7. Milf: nope.
     
  18. MooseKnuckle

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    4/8. What I've done:

    Fat girl. Honestly, most guys accomplish this before they're 20. Right?
    Anal. Drunk girlfriend + my birthday = buttsex for me. It was cool to try and fun for me but I wouldn't mind if I never did it again.
    Wilderness Jerk. Did this twice actually. The first time was when I was in high school and the cops busted a party I was at (bonfire in a field sort of party). I ran to a dried up slough and hung out till the cops left. Ended up rubbing one out while I was there because I got bored. The other time was when I was camping with my then girlfriend. She got too drunk to fuck and I was horned up something fierce. I put her to bed and went behind the tent to mark my sexual territory I guess.
    1 night stand. Again, this is a pretty common thing I think.

    What I haven't done:

    Hot tub penis jet. That just doesn't seem sanitary or safe. No thank you.
    Finger in the ass. Again, no thank you. I don't care if doing that turns me into a wizard with superpowers and the ability to kill idiots with my thoughts alone, it won't happen.
    Parent's bedroom. I've always thought that would be fucking weird. Why would I want to fuck in the same place my parents fuck? I've done it in my buddy's parent's bed. I've done it in my girlfriend's parent's bed. Also on her aunt and uncle's pool table. A couple of her cousin's beds. Even her family's beer pong table (don't ever do this). And I fucked a girl in some lesbian couple's bed that she was house sitting for. But fucking on my own parents bed would just creep me out.
    MILF. The only one that I want to accomplish. I might have technically accomplished this, as she had a child. But she wasn't hot and the kid was a fucking baby. To me, a MILF has to be good looking and have a child that's at least a teenager. That's my crazy little dream anyway.

    In conclusion, I'd like to consider myself 4/5. Those other 3 are dumb.
     
  19. barney

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    Just for clarification, can a fat girl even qualify as a MILF? I mean the term means Mom I'd like to fuck. Does anybody ever really want to fuck a fat chick....isn't it something we just end up doing and rationalising to ourselves after the fact? I'd always assumed that it was a given that MILFs were hot.

    For me, it's 4/8. Fat chick, anal, one night stand, finger in the ass.
     
  20. Kubla Kahn

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    Fat girl. Who hasn't?



    What I haven't done:

    Wilderness Jerk. I can't remember anytime I was in the wilderness and cranked one off. Doesn't seem as thrilling as say, doing it in a public area. I cranked it a few times during overnight cram sessions at the university building I was using.

    Anal. I would if it was brought up, it's not something Im dying to give a try.

    Hot tub penis jet. Now what is going on here? I mean Ive held my junk up to the jets before and it did feel good but I didn't jizz in my swimsuit or anything. Are they suggesting you stick your whole schlong into one? The jet holes are that big.

    Parent's bedroom. I fooled around with a girl in her parents bedroom, we didn't have sex in it though.

    Iffy:

    Finger in the ass. I had a girl try it without out warning me and she got her hand slapped away mighty fast. I was no where near getting off when she did it.

    MILF. I fucked a girl that had a kid but she was younger than me and I think we are kind of going for the age gap than the kid thing right?