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8/14/15 WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Aug 14, 2015.

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  1. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I had a stomach flu that was more like cholera or dysentery. In Ohio, visiting friends. After I shit a solid 7 times in rapid succession, the ER didn't think I was serious, even when I asked for a puke bucket. So sick, I could not stand; made me fire out of both ends. I literally passed out on a gurney, shit my pants, then was discharged with pills to stop the peristalsis of my bunghole. It sort of worked. I was getting the prescription filled, slid out of the pharmacy waiting chair onto the floor, passed out cold, then sharted myself again. My friend, god bless him, spent hours cleaning up rounds of my shit filled boxers off the bathroom floor. He bleached everything... then he left me in a motel room for 2 days with a bottle of pedialyte and a sleeve of saltines. I was in and out of consciousness for what seemed like a week but was only about a day and a half. In that time I crapped the bed god knows how many times. I managed to get enough energy to pull the sheets off, ball them up, and throw them outside before I passed out cold from standing up. Before I could warn the maid she took the sheets. I was so dehydrated and malnourished I could not focus my eyes on anything. I couldn't stay awake for more than 20 minutes. In about 4 days I dropped over 15 pounds.
     
  2. AFHokie

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    Literally, shit everywhere, but still blur the vag...
     
  3. Clutch

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    I ran cross country in high school. One day for practice the team went for a run out on the country roads around a block that was about 8 miles all together. About three miles in, I start feeling intestinal distress, but make up my mind to power through it. Another mile goes by and we're at the most distant part of the loop, two miles as the crow flies from the nearest public toilet. I fall further and further behind the pack, then duck into a cornfield. I drop trou and unleash hell onto the ground. There is splashing. Sweating, exhausted, and immeasurably relieved, I realize that I need to clean up, so I do the logical thing and start wiping my ass with corn leaves. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. They are covered in tiny hairs that will wreck your anus. Now my ass crack is on fire, I still have shit on me, and people have noticed I was gone and came back to look for me. I get myself as presentable as possible and rejoin the group, maintaining a healthy distance for the sake of how much I must have stank. When we came to the gas station on the edge of town I rushed inside and locked myself in the bathroom to asses the damage. It looked like someone had dumped boiling water in my lap, and the underwear was beyond any hope of redemption. The trash can was overflowing with paper towels, so I laid my ruined drawers on top and bailed.

    A year later I was just beginning to work at that same gas station. The manager is training me on the procedures for cleaning the restroom and says to me, "You wouldn't believe the disgusting shit people do in here. One time some asshole made a pile of paper towels and put a pair of shit-covered underwear on top like the cherry on a sundae." I agreed with him. People are disgusting.
     
  4. Gravy

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    This thread in gif format.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Fucking hell... here's the crater left by those Chinese explosions:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

     
  6. ghettoastronaut

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    Seeing that video, it kind of makes you wonder what the Halifax explosion must have been like. 2,000 people were killed in that one, and I don't know if we have an honest death toll for this one at somewhere between 85-100 killed with another 700 injured.
     
  7. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    I can't help but think that the Chinese "official" story is greatly under-reporting the damage and casualties.
     
  8. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    It's hard to point to an exact moment that hair metal became a caricature of itself, but I'll bet it was right about here:



    Cool band name, and quite honestly not a horrible band per se, but seriously? A metal boy band? Who the hell talked them into this awful idea?

    Although, full disclosure, when I was playing I did lobby for our band to play one of their songs. I dug it. I still think it's cool. The other guys threw shit at me and told me to go get fucked.

    This song:

     
  9. dixiebandit69

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    The important thing to remember is that all of the casualties were Chinese, therefore communists, and communists don't have souls.

    But then again, neither do I, and neither does anyone else.
     
  10. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Britny Fox. I don't remember a single song, I just know their hairdresser is rich:
    image.jpg

    ...That is a LOT of Aquanet put to work there, kids.
     
  11. NatCH

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    I read up on the Halifax Explosion. So you're telling me that a sizable chunk of a city was destroyed because some Norwegian and French dudes were playing a game of chicken with their boats?
     
  12. toytoy88

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    Ok, it's Saturday night and I'm drunk and bored. What better time to check up on what your exes are doing?

    Y'all are probably familiar with my ex that left me for an alien and had been committed several times.

    Apparently I have another one riding the crazy train. I swear to God she was normal when I lived with her. The only symptom of crazy then was that she had 4 cats.

    Now she's a new age author, speaker, and healer. Ugh. Ok.

    She just wrote a whole lengthy article about aliens, the end of the world, and a room full of angels visiting her and inviting her on a trip.(I'd post a link to the article but I don't need y'all trying to contact her.)

    Dear God. This girl was completely normal when we were together, now this.
     
  13. toytoy88

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    Awesome band name. The song was Girlschool. I still dig it.

     
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    One of those boats unfortunetly was crammed full of ordinance. Biggest accidental explosion ever I think, it destroyed the city. I think the British Bang and Hill 60 were the only non-nuke explosions that were bigger (man made).
     
  15. Crown Royal

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    Am I the only one who thinks they're trying to be Cinderella? I liked some of their tunes, seen them live twice.

    The best thing about seeing 80's hair bands is that they get the same sort of throngs of groupie girls who will do ANYTHING to get backstage. It's a good night to be a roadie or security at those shows.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    It was awesome being in a bar band covering those songs in the 80's if you budgeted mascara and Aquanet into your expenditures if your main objective was to get laid.
     
  17. dixiebandit69

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    Toytoy, while you are correct with that pathetic song being titled "Girlschool," there was a British, all female metal band that had the same name, since 1978.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlschool

    I don't want anyone to forget about that, because they were a legitimately good band, and I think that their cover of Motorhead's "Bomber" is better than the original.


    art_lingerie_Celeste_Star_bw_3.jpg
     
  18. Bundy Bear

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    But not as good as the version of Lemmy singing with Girlschool.
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    Correlation, not causation?

    I have an ex of 10 years. We are friendly, but we haven't spoken in a good year. I woke up yesterday to 68, count 'em, 68, facebook notifications. All from her going through my updates commenting and liking virtually every post from the past several months. Her mom is bi-polar, so most likely the poor girl was having a depressive fit. Aren't genetics great? But goddamn. Most people have the decency not to notify the person they're stalking. There are rules.

    Never trust a girl who only eats spaghetti with butter.
     
  20. Tim

    Tim
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    Am I the only drunk one here? I feel so alone. It's so so cold...
     
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