What holiday is that? The one where you declare independence from the British crown? *checks Canadian currency* Nevermind.
"I'm sorry that was the best sex you'll ever have and that all future non-Canadian sex will be a disappointment for you moving forward."
Happy Almost Canada Day: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/tech...nadian-themed-emoji-keyboard/article25128867/ And in other news, I'm building a diving board for the new pool. The balcony off the master bedroom is perfect.
At aforementioned music festival this past weekend, Canadians have always been a highlight the last few years. Cause the ones that come are the worldly, attractive ones who aren't syrup snorting and moose fucking, and thus they resemble, physically, no lame stereotypes, and even better, maintain most of the positive social qualities that many American jackasses don't. Multiple times I had overly friendly and assertive women approach myself and my friends and chat. We were mildly wary, being in Vegas, thinking they were either pros or had ulterior motives, then we found out they were Canadian and all was well. I said it last year and said it again, I'm all in on Canadians and cut my joke making on your behalf by 90%. Hell, I was watching dubstep DJs from Montreal on Saturday night, started dance/grinding with a girl in a Canadian crop top, her bf came back, she seemed unfazed, I was momentarily taken aback, started to apologize, and he patted me on the back and said "Eh man, its all good. Carry on, hell of a set huh?" So either you are all unflinchingly nice and polite, or swingers. Either way, good on ya.
Net, fill that sucker with maple serp. It's a celebration. I'm going to go eat pork, drink beer, then have some champagne with my lesbian friends.
Then my guess is you'll masturbate while crying yourself to sleep. Despite what porn says, I'm guessing this situation doesn't end up with you in a threesome. I'm thankful Canada gave us hockey. I'll never forgive Canada for giving us Nickleback (some sins are never forgotten, and old joke sure but seriously)
We also gave you guys NAFTA, NBA and the Expos. After all that, I'd expect a little more gratitude. But I guess its true, Canadians think the know more than everyone else.... Also remember, the NHL is really an American product anymore, so let that sink in for a bit.
Please don't let Nettdata speak for all of us. I, like most good Canadians, pray to the South every sun rise and sun set, giving thanks for the Three Pillars of Excellence and Prosperity (NAFTA, the NBA, and the Expos, obviously).
39 fucking °C when I got home from work... and you know what was waiting for me? A freezer full of ice, a blender, and a motherfucking pool. BRING IT, weekend.