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52 years an imbecile with a pension

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Angel_1756, Mar 24, 2016.

  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    From a 1881 London census requesting job titles:
    FB_IMG_1458813704506.jpg
    God I hope the cow-banger and the knocker-up of workpeople were married.

    Focus: Describe your job, and/or what you do during the day, as though you were filling out this census. For example, I would consider myself a Writer of Unread Papers and Wiper of Fluids.
     
    CanisDirus likes this.
  2. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I would like to know what a "beef twister" does.

    I would probably describe my self as "Master Craftsmen of Spreadsheets and Babysitter.

    bump.
     
  3. downndirty

    downndirty
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    Crop-Duster or Drop-Cruster

    Spreadsheet Molester

    Director of Titty Twisting, aspiring Vice President of Nipple Flicking

    The Dick That Un-Fucks
     
  4. Puffman

    Puffman
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Shuffler of paper

    Librarian of Porn
     
  5. D26

    D26
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    Purveyor of information to interned adolescents

    Master lecturer to walls

    Interpreter of modern languages and dialects

    Supervisor of emotional herds of overly hormonal mammals
     
  6. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
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    Minder of Other People's Business
     
  7. katokoch

    katokoch
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    I call myself a Sales and Marketing Slave, or as the company go-to person on RFP's the Really Fucked Person.

    In my home workshop, I am a Maker of Gun Porn.
     
  8. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    At least nobody is a Night Soil Collector

    There is a wonderful book by Peter Ackroyd, "London Underground." The entirety of London is built upon layers of human waste, a literal poop cake, and the people who died in tsunamis of poop. Disgusting and informative; many clever job titles, much euphemism.

    I myself am an Auto-Financial Curiosity Interventionist and Procurer of Masturbatory Idylls.
     
  9. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Cheerleader of Those Who Circle The Drain

    Chaser of Rabbits
     
  10. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Herder of cats

    Feeder of cat

    Tin can soldier

    Insanity dodger

    Growth provocateur

    Masturbator
     
  11. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Shaker of Butt

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    #11 bewildered, Mar 24, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2016
  12. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Care-taker of abused and neglected vehicles.

    Professional cynic.
     
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Setter Of Machines That Cut Steel That Cuts Steel That Cuts Steel

    Operator Of Scary Tools

    Slicer Of Flesh

    Dealer Of People Who Don't Operate Scary Tools Very Well

    Guinness Book Of World Records Facepalm Holder
     
  14. jdoogie

    jdoogie
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    At my actual work job I'm known as

    Finder of Lost Documents

    Issue Archiver Extraordinaire

    On my weekend job I'm simply known as:

    Smoker of All the Meats
     
  15. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    My official job title is nebulous at best. When people look at me with a quizzical look my canned answer is "it's basically a way for the company to monetize my ADD."

    They call me "Santa" at work and someone actually put a "Santa's Workshop" sign above my office door. Broken toys come in, perfect toys come out. Sometimes I make stuff that's better than what is in the stores. If a teacher wants something, I just tell them to bring me a picture of it and I'll figure out a way to build it if it's within reason. This was never part of my job description, but it is an increasingly large part of my daily duties.

    I'm also the unofficial Unclogger of P-traps, Jumpstarter of Vehicles, Changer of Tires, and Wrangler of Potentially Dangerous Animals Who Sometimes Bite. (I've caught so many vermin and snakes I stopped using sticks and shovels and now just keep a pair of leather gloves in my office to grab them; quicker that way.)
     
  16. mazian

    mazian
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    Sandman

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    Preventer of basic fuck-uppery

    Unofficial herder of butchers
     
  17. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    Justifier of Nebulous Decisions
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    The Compensator
     
  18. TJMax

    TJMax
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    Disturbed

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    Leecher of public funds
     
  19. tweetybird

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    Disposal Agent of All That Stupid Shit You Bought
     
  20. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    Captain of Leaving Old Women Reassured.

    Leader of Fruitless Warehouse Visits.

    Finder of Lost Packages.

    Wiring Champion.

    Box-Man.

    Real title is of course "Electrical Apprentice".