From a 1881 London census requesting job titles: God I hope the cow-banger and the knocker-up of workpeople were married. Focus: Describe your job, and/or what you do during the day, as though you were filling out this census. For example, I would consider myself a Writer of Unread Papers and Wiper of Fluids.
I would like to know what a "beef twister" does. I would probably describe my self as "Master Craftsmen of Spreadsheets and Babysitter. bump.
Crop-Duster or Drop-Cruster Spreadsheet Molester Director of Titty Twisting, aspiring Vice President of Nipple Flicking The Dick That Un-Fucks
Purveyor of information to interned adolescents Master lecturer to walls Interpreter of modern languages and dialects Supervisor of emotional herds of overly hormonal mammals
I call myself a Sales and Marketing Slave, or as the company go-to person on RFP's the Really Fucked Person. In my home workshop, I am a Maker of Gun Porn.
At least nobody is a Night Soil Collector There is a wonderful book by Peter Ackroyd, "London Underground." The entirety of London is built upon layers of human waste, a literal poop cake, and the people who died in tsunamis of poop. Disgusting and informative; many clever job titles, much euphemism. I myself am an Auto-Financial Curiosity Interventionist and Procurer of Masturbatory Idylls.
Setter Of Machines That Cut Steel That Cuts Steel That Cuts Steel Operator Of Scary Tools Slicer Of Flesh Dealer Of People Who Don't Operate Scary Tools Very Well Guinness Book Of World Records Facepalm Holder
At my actual work job I'm known as Finder of Lost Documents Issue Archiver Extraordinaire On my weekend job I'm simply known as: Smoker of All the Meats
My official job title is nebulous at best. When people look at me with a quizzical look my canned answer is "it's basically a way for the company to monetize my ADD." They call me "Santa" at work and someone actually put a "Santa's Workshop" sign above my office door. Broken toys come in, perfect toys come out. Sometimes I make stuff that's better than what is in the stores. If a teacher wants something, I just tell them to bring me a picture of it and I'll figure out a way to build it if it's within reason. This was never part of my job description, but it is an increasingly large part of my daily duties. I'm also the unofficial Unclogger of P-traps, Jumpstarter of Vehicles, Changer of Tires, and Wrangler of Potentially Dangerous Animals Who Sometimes Bite. (I've caught so many vermin and snakes I stopped using sticks and shovels and now just keep a pair of leather gloves in my office to grab them; quicker that way.)
Captain of Leaving Old Women Reassured. Leader of Fruitless Warehouse Visits. Finder of Lost Packages. Wiring Champion. Box-Man. Real title is of course "Electrical Apprentice".