Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

52 years an imbecile with a pension

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Angel_1756, Mar 24, 2016.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,909
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    From a 1881 London census requesting job titles:
    FB_IMG_1458813704506.jpg
    God I hope the cow-banger and the knocker-up of workpeople were married.

    Focus: Describe your job, and/or what you do during the day, as though you were filling out this census. For example, I would consider myself a Writer of Unread Papers and Wiper of Fluids.
     
    #1 Angel_1756, Mar 24, 2016
    CanisDirus likes this.
  2. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,414
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,635
    Location:
    Boston
    I would like to know what a "beef twister" does.

    I would probably describe my self as "Master Craftsmen of Spreadsheets and Babysitter.

    bump.
     
    #2 Juice, Mar 24, 2016
  3. downndirty

    downndirty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    492
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,485
    Crop-Duster or Drop-Cruster

    Spreadsheet Molester

    Director of Titty Twisting, aspiring Vice President of Nipple Flicking

    The Dick That Un-Fucks
     
    #3 downndirty, Mar 24, 2016
  4. Puffman

    Puffman
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    148
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,471
    Location:
    Central California
    Shuffler of paper

    Librarian of Porn
     
    #4 Puffman, Mar 24, 2016
  5. D26

    D26
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    110
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,305
    Purveyor of information to interned adolescents

    Master lecturer to walls

    Interpreter of modern languages and dialects

    Supervisor of emotional herds of overly hormonal mammals
     
    #5 D26, Mar 24, 2016
  6. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    171
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,673
    Minder of Other People's Business
     
    #6 Currer Bell, Mar 24, 2016
  7. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    I call myself a Sales and Marketing Slave, or as the company go-to person on RFP's the Really Fucked Person.

    In my home workshop, I am a Maker of Gun Porn.
     
    #7 katokoch, Mar 24, 2016
  8. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    401
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,974
    At least nobody is a Night Soil Collector

    There is a wonderful book by Peter Ackroyd, "London Underground." The entirety of London is built upon layers of human waste, a literal poop cake, and the people who died in tsunamis of poop. Disgusting and informative; many clever job titles, much euphemism.

    I myself am an Auto-Financial Curiosity Interventionist and Procurer of Masturbatory Idylls.
     
    #8 CharlesJohnson, Mar 24, 2016
  9. TX.

    TX.
    Expand Collapse
    The Mad Pooper

    Reputation:
    421
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,724
    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    Cheerleader of Those Who Circle The Drain

    Chaser of Rabbits
     
    #9 TX., Mar 24, 2016
  10. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    145
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,950
    Location:
    CT
    Herder of cats

    Feeder of cat

    Tin can soldier

    Insanity dodger

    Growth provocateur

    Masturbator
     
    #10 effinshenanigans, Mar 24, 2016
  11. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    1,268
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    11,072
    Shaker of Butt

    Bringer of Beer

    Purveyor of Cheap Wines
     
    #11 bewildered, Mar 24, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2016
  12. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    844
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    4,282
    Location:
    The asshole of Texas
    Care-taker of abused and neglected vehicles.

    Professional cynic.
     
    #12 dixiebandit69, Mar 25, 2016
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    964
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    22,876
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Setter Of Machines That Cut Steel That Cuts Steel That Cuts Steel

    Operator Of Scary Tools

    Slicer Of Flesh

    Dealer Of People Who Don't Operate Scary Tools Very Well

    Guinness Book Of World Records Facepalm Holder
     
    #13 Crown Royal, Mar 25, 2016
  14. jdoogie

    jdoogie
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    424
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,077
    Location:
    Columbus Ohio
    At my actual work job I'm known as

    Finder of Lost Documents

    Issue Archiver Extraordinaire

    On my weekend job I'm simply known as:

    Smoker of All the Meats
     
    #14 jdoogie, Mar 25, 2016
  15. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,062
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,176
    My official job title is nebulous at best. When people look at me with a quizzical look my canned answer is "it's basically a way for the company to monetize my ADD."

    They call me "Santa" at work and someone actually put a "Santa's Workshop" sign above my office door. Broken toys come in, perfect toys come out. Sometimes I make stuff that's better than what is in the stores. If a teacher wants something, I just tell them to bring me a picture of it and I'll figure out a way to build it if it's within reason. This was never part of my job description, but it is an increasingly large part of my daily duties.

    I'm also the unofficial Unclogger of P-traps, Jumpstarter of Vehicles, Changer of Tires, and Wrangler of Potentially Dangerous Animals Who Sometimes Bite. (I've caught so many vermin and snakes I stopped using sticks and shovels and now just keep a pair of leather gloves in my office to grab them; quicker that way.)
     
    #15 Revengeofthenerds, Mar 26, 2016
  16. mazian

    mazian
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    26
    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    131
    Location:
    Germany
    Sandman

    Inspector of mouths

    Preventer of basic fuck-uppery

    Unofficial herder of butchers
     
    #16 mazian, Mar 27, 2016
  17. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    418
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,307
    Justifier of Nebulous Decisions
    Head Rationalizer
    The Compensator
     
    #17 Misanthropic, Mar 27, 2016
  18. TJMax

    TJMax
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    52
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    471
    Location:
    North Las Vegas
    Leecher of public funds
     
    #18 TJMax, Mar 27, 2016
  19. tweetybird

    tweetybird
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    30
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    244
    Location:
    SF
    Disposal Agent of All That Stupid Shit You Bought
     
    #19 tweetybird, Mar 28, 2016
  20. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    143
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    1,104
    Location:
    Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
    Captain of Leaving Old Women Reassured.

    Leader of Fruitless Warehouse Visits.

    Finder of Lost Packages.

    Wiring Champion.

    Box-Man.

    Real title is of course "Electrical Apprentice".
     
    #20 CanisDirus, Mar 28, 2016
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2