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4/8/16 WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Apr 8, 2016.

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  1. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    So last night at like 8:30 there's a knock on the door. It's some lady with the US census Bureau. Yes I got the huge envelope, no I have not filled it out and I don't want to, whatever. Then I really look at the lady standing in my doorway. She's old, like not me old, like old old. Anyway, as she adjusts her stance she almost tripped. Then I notice her cane leaning against the stoop. Then I notice her huge knee brace. I ask her if she wants to step into the house on more level ground (?). She does. It was abnormally hot yesterday so I offer her a glass of water. I felt bad for her. As she leaves I had to physically help her off of my porch and through my gate.

    The whole thing left me feeling really fucking weirded out. I called the Bureau and verified that yes she is legit. I told the rep that I did not want this little broken old lady back on my property as she is a liability. If she had fallen it'd be my fault.

    So I guess I can be fined if I do not participate in the census? I had no idea.

    I have no focus. I do however, have a headache.

    Share any weird door knocker stories I guess and/or post boobies.
     
  2. dixiebandit69

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    Are you serious, shegirl? I could understand her suing you if there was a puddle of water on your doorstep, or if there was a bad step leading there, or something like that. But suing you just for being old and falling down? Really?

    Whatever you say, shegirl. Nothing like some MILF tits to brighten up the day.

    Tits - MILF - SELFIE_N323.jpg
     
  3. CanisDirus

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    There's a very friendly but very autistic guy who lives with his mother in my neighborhood. He is tall and gangly with a face that seems too big and is often seen wearing a cowboy hat as he walks around, often murmuring to himself and self-reassuring by bobbing his head or rubbing his arms. Sometimes he knocks on my door as we're doing something in the yard or he just walks up and starts chatting. It's alright, but he often panics whoever else I'm around as this is meth-head country and if you didn't know better you'd think he was on drugs. He has yet to introduce himself to me by name and I've lived here two years now. I just call him The Hat.

    He did "save" my parent's dogs this 4th of July by getting them put back in the yard after they got out while my parents were at my house.
     
    #3 CanisDirus, Apr 8, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2016
  4. Juice

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    I bet there is.
     
  5. CanisDirus

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    I can get camera evidence if you need it, O Juice.
     
  6. Nettdata

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    Selfies aren't allowed.
     
  7. shegirl

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    Yes. It would be my fault as the homeowner and a claim would be made against my homeowners insurance. You may think that her health insurance would take care of it. Yes they may initially but they would then subrogate against my insurance policy. Especially since she was working at the time. Never mind the fact she was working as a subcontractor for the feds. Yes, yes and yes. I am serious.

    It does not matter if there was a puddle, hose or dog that caused the trip and fall either.
     
  8. CanisDirus

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    I guess I just have to set up a trail camera in my lilac bushes and smear some peanut butter there.
     
  9. Angel_1756

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. Nettdata

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    Oh, Internets... you have EVERYTHING...

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Now Slappy

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    So many questions…but "why" being the most important.
     
  12. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Je. Sus.
     
  13. CanisDirus

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    [​IMG]

    but

    [​IMG]
     
  14. CanisDirus

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    Is it dead? A live coon would just rip your sweetmeats off. Also, holy fuck, what the fuck and why.
     
  15. shegirl

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    It was brought to my attention that the direction of my post took on a meanie theme rather than feeling sympathetic to her plight. My point was really both folds which is why I mentioned I'd let her in my house and given her water.

    I am absolutely paranoid too. I am an insurance agent after all, and a new homeowner.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    And was it a female raccoon or are we looking at gay zoorotica?
     
  17. Rush-O-Matic

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    Knockers, boobies - same thing. I know y'all are all into raccoon hummers, but here's something a little more towards shegirl's request. Also, can someone opine: is this a feather or a leaf?
    ekaterina.jpg
     
  18. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Maybe his buddy suggested it was about time he jam his dick in a beaver and he misunderstood. Several things.

    Eta: While this
    is true. I am curious. What exactly gets typed into the search engine box that returns that?
     
  19. CanisDirus

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    "1,400 customer power outage. Someome fucked up hard." - My lineman friend's text just now. South Carolina, sorry, someone fucked up hard.
     
    #19 CanisDirus, Apr 8, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2016
  20. Nettdata

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    CanisDickus was talking about smearing peanut butter on his front porch bushes or some shit so I figured he was trying to lure in a date which led to the inevitable "he wants to fuck a raccoon" line of thinking which led to the Google Image search term of "fucking raccoon" which then popped that up as the third image... because Google knows me too well.
     
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