First I'd buy a Publix or any Food Store so I could get free food for the rest of my life. Then I go around stores buying supid shit like all te gum and mint they have to load me up on fresh breath. Buy some stuff online, like cracked.com and thechive.com and other junk. Then with the remaning money, I'd spend on a one hour long commercial of just me and my friends screaming obscenities on a kids network. Either that or pay the Pac Man to street fight with Mayweather. Like Rocky 5, but only with people watching.
On a side note, depending on scheduling - 15 million (burning man only lasts a week) to take a bunch of friends and myself to Burning Man? My pupils are dilating just thinking about it.
I would hire several of my favorite porn stars to do the most awful shit in public, on film. And then post bail when they inevitably got caught. Things like fucking a donkey at Jerry Falwells church. Or pooping on Al Sharpton. Or even fucking each other in a High School gym during an assembly. The legal costs ALONE would use most of the money.
I would rent a vast amount of acreage in the country. Then I'd build a town in the fashion of Deadwood and hire a bunch of actors to pretend they are pioneers from the 19th century, and others to be Indians, furnishing them with all their supplies. I would buy a bunch of wild game and fill up the surrounding woods. Then I would spend my remaining time hunting down all the animals and pretending to be an outlaw. On the very last day I would stage a bank robbery that would result in everything being set on fire, thus leaving me with no assets. Hurray!
I wonder how much blow I could hide in the shittiest parts of major cities, place a city wide announcement that it's in "X" spots and then watch the carnage ensue. Better than any cage fight or Coliseum event. Ever.
I would remake Star Wars Episode I, and have it not suck. Budget would go over $30 million, but I'm guessing I can get a lot of free labor by saying "hey, I'm remaking Episode I in a way that won't suck"
I'd rent out Tao in Vegas for a night, and host a Roman-style orgy.With a lineup of pornstars to come and about ten mil in coke it should be pretty fun.
Given what most of you are putting up, I'd be keeping aside a fair chunk of money in a fat retainer for a high-priced lawyer as you'll end up in jail pretty quick. I wonder if the cool million to Bubba to persuade him not to row up your shit creek with his paddle would be considered charity? As for the lawyer, I wouldn't bother with Ballsack. With the amount of blow going around, I suspect he'd be beside you in the dock. I'd more do things like: 1. Hire 5,000 (or other arbitrary figure) unemployed to scrub the gulf coastline for a month. Because I'm eco-conscious; 2. Build fake whales that explode when hit by Japanese harpoons; 3. Run a bunch of (animal) vs (animal) fights to see who is truly the stronger. Eat the winner and gain their strength; 4. Marry a gold-digger and get it annulled. Watch the bitch take me for half; 5. Have an iceberg towed to my nearest beach. I demand ice for my drink, dammit; or 6. Pay PETA hardliners to eat meat, upping the dollars until they cave. Laugh at their crumbling morals.
I wonder how much it costs to rent one of these... I just realized that renting all of the guns in the world that I wanted and a massive pile of ammunition (a trip to the Lake City Arsenal would be in order) and renting out some military testing grounds would be ridiculously fun and easy way to burn up a whole bunch of money.
For 15 mill, I'm fairly certain you could just host your own Burning man. Everything for free; if you show up and you're capable of not killing hundreds of people in a drug and alcohol induced rage, then you're allowed to party until the money stops. You could hire a bunch of people to act as security and keep people safe; hell, pay them like 10 grand each for the entire event. Have a giant money counter sign on a tower, so, when the money runs out from all the partying, it just blows up in the biggest, most spectacular fireworks show known to mankind. In fact, just buy giants tents and shit and at the end of the burning man, get some bulldozers and have them push everything into a giant pile; including bulldozers; and let it all burn. Have some extra money left over for carbon tax on burning a fuck-tonne of stuff and write a letter to the entire planet for putting a new hole in the ozone.
I'm pretty sure you could set up a trust that can only spend the money on you, but which you have no legal right to control, and thus you would not have any of the money at the end of the month. But, in the movie he wins $300 million if he can spend the 30, so he wouldn't really need the 30, and it'd be dumb to risk a judge interpreting the trust against you. So, first thing I'd do is max out my limit on donations/gifts and pay off the student loans of all my friends who went to law school. After setting aside enough money to have some fun and eat a bunch of crazy food and have orgies with high end escorts, I'd block out a ton of time on TV channels and let PhilaLawyer talk about whatever he wants.
I think it would be more fun to create a conference that would entice all the members of congress and the senate to attend. Then lock them in the lecture hall, and have Phila yell at them until his voice is gone. Broadcast that shit during prime time and watch it stoned, drunk and tripping balls.
African safari, followed by deep sea fishing trip, followed by fly fishing in Alaska, followed by fly fishing in Colorado, followed by firearm drinking games off a rented yacht anchored in South Beach. The entire time, I will be fed a constant stream of the finest gin available, poured into my mouth directly from the chilled bottle by my naked wife and an equally-naked prostitute of my choosing. If I choose to wash it down, it will be with Stone's Smoked Porter, poured into my mouth in similar style as the gin. At my disposal at any and all times is a plethora of shot guns, illegal fireworks, manual skeet thrower, rock crawler vehicles and at least one super-charged lawn mower for my racing pleasure. They will be loaded into my private jet for transportation by the naked prostitutes of my choosing. I will also donate the maximum charitable amount allowed to the Children's Brain Tumor Foundation. It'd take me less than 30 days.
The difficult thing is the "no assets at the end" part. Here's some ideas, though: -Buy a private jet, and trick it out. Hire strippers and butlers for the flights. Overpay them. There's a solid 6-8 million to get the ball rolling. Now, it's time for the Month of Ultimate Partying. Take your jet and fly to a different major world city with your buddies (now known as an "entourage") every night. Buy an obscenely expensive car, and either give it to a random stranger or wreck it when you leave. But in the meantime, hit the clubs. Buy shots for the whole bar. Pick out a small army of girls, and dial up the bottle service. Become a bathroom orgy connoisseur. Spend astronomically on gifts and drinks for these girls every night. Then jet off to another city the next day and repeat. -Pay Morgan Freeman $300,000 to narrate my life for one day. Also, pay the London Symphony to follow me around for a week playing theme music to my life. -Go to my ex-girlfriend's house, hold up enough cash to successfully get her out of debt, light it on fire, laugh, and walk away. -Pay someone to spend the 30 days following around Brett Favre with a boombox blasting Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City" with the volume cranked up. All day, every day. -Purchase a Super Bowl ad slot where, for 30 seconds, the world will watch me be serviced by the three most attractive models we can find. -Buy the production rights to Jersey Shore, and end the second season with a battle royale to the death.
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.sportscardigest.com/the-30-million-dollar-ferrari-250-gto/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.sportscardigest.com/the-30-m ... i-250-gto/</a> I'm done. Give me my 300 mil and leave me the fuck alone.
Are you allowed to do practical stuff, like pay off all your debt? If so, I would do that. Then, I would buy a house. I would pay someone an obscene amount of money to make sure it was in perfect order within the 30 days. OK, I would take a group of people to the most expensive restaurant I could find and order one of everything on the menu, because I've always wanted to say "Give me one of everything!" Then, I would buy everyone in the restaurant a bottle of champagne. After that, I would go to Ireland. From there, I would hire a driver and an entourage (yes, I would BUY the entourage) and go sight seeing. If there was time left, I would go to other places in Europe. Also, I would buy one or two pieces of art and sell them once the 30 days were up, so that I would still have some money after the 30 days.
Free cocaine for anyone that wants it, 30 days only. I'm pretty sure within a couple weeks that money is spent.