I think you mean, everyone wants a masturbatory injury. The paperwork alone in the ER would be comedy GOLD.
Sheesh. No one wants to see my balls anymore. The lady at the taco stand screamed "Nein!" at me. Either she was a Nazi or maybe she was screaming "Nine!"...which makes no sense what so ever. Either way, it was abundantly clear she didn't want to see my balls.
I had a shitting injury once. At work. The fun began when I had to explain to HR how I injured myself shitting. At work.
I think I'm going metric. Measuring my knitting by centimeters is so much more precise than measuring by inches. Also, I always think that knitting has made me better at being able to eyeball measurements, but apparently I still don't know what an inch is without the aid of a tape measure.
Just a guess here, but I'll bet if 22 year old abneretta read that post, she'd punch herself in the throat and pray for a quick death.
Hey, haven't you heard? Knitting is cool again. Also, you're probably right. 22 year old abneretta was much cooler than 29 year old abneretta. A lot more stupid too.
No, but 4 cm is easier to measure than 1.5748" (yes, I googled that so that I could make a point. Sue me.) Thank you for making the joke I couldn't quite grasp a second ago. (ba dum tss)
Knitting was never cool. Not even in 1877 when they had nothing better to do other then knit or smack themselves in the tits with a hammer. Tit hammering was the new fad about that time. You can google it if you don't believe me.
Knitting was cool when people were knitting for soldiers in WW2 (and WW1 for that matter, but this was my favorite image that I found upon a quick search.)
Not sure how we're jumping from attending each other's weddings to getting each other pregnant but there's only a .1% chance I'm breeding with any board member thankyouverymuch.
Mrs. Eff is too pure of heart to ever stoop so low as to hang around here. They're the only people I know who I want to have a baby, though, just so I can see what it looks like for a baby to emerge from the womb with a full beard.
I witnessed a girl FaceTiming with a guy who was fully naked and masturbating while walking to my office yesterday. Just standing there, waiting for the crosswalk signal to change. She, with her phone held high in the air in front of her, screen brightness set to maximum to compete with the morning sun as she documented her trek to wherever. He, with his dong right up in the camera, casually whacking it. Neither seemed to think that this was violating any element of social norms. Now that I think about it, the real irony would've been if she was also walking her dog and made it a point to stop to pick up it's shit.