3/21/14 NATIONAL PUPPY DAY WDT (still NSFW, weird)

So you notice a quantifiable difference in hair laying around the bathroom when you don't shave as opposed to when you do?

I don't mind pubes but I am rather intrigued by the thought if you let me shave them. I'll be gentle, I swear.

 

Pubes tend to fall out when they get longer. They probably still fall out when they are short but you just don't see them as obviously.

And no.

 

Spoilsport.

You act like it's a sensitive area or something and that I will be applying an extremely sharp cutting opbect to it.

In keeping with the theme, I am now sad:

 

The thought of letting a second party take a sharp blade to our only reason to continue living? No. I won't allow it, no guy would allow it and if he does he's even a bigger freak than the girl who wants to do it.

And NO PUGS!!!!! We want dogs, not bags that dogs used to be kept in. And they have no knees.

 

Sigh. Your answers are disappointing me.

You deserve this:

 

Pshht. Spoilers. Its the drunk thread, here's a coconut crab that's the size of a boogie-board:

 

When it gets long enough that I consider using shampoo rather than soap, it's time for me to trim.

Never shave; beard trimmer on #3 works fine. Less and it's itchy, longer and it doesn't look like you've accomplished enough. I'll never trust a razor around "the stuff" though. Even when I nick it with the trimmer it hurts like crazy, and any blood around there is a minor medical emergency. Maybe I'm over-protective?

 

I am trying to compensate for staying in and writing reports on a Saturday night by drinking hot pepper infused vodka (I used a combination of jalapenos, habaneros, thai chilis, and something unidentifiable but evil-looking). That way I am both old and lame, but I am also young and adventurous and bad at making life choices (or good at making bad life choices?).

Also, in regards to manscaping, it is very much appreciated. Don't shave it bald, though, that looks weird. $0.02.

 

Hmm. Clearly this theory must be tested. I shall do so and report back after the field test. Excelsior!

 

I guess there truly is no movie that can break my mind. I just cozied up with some popcorn and watched A Serbian Film.

This movie officially steals the title from Cannibal Holocaust as the most upsetting movie ever made. Not even the Taliban could have thought up sexual violence like the last ten minutes of this film, I have to go hug my kid now.

If you haven't seen it, you probably are better off taking a rain check. It is the ne plus ultra of sickening awfulness. The title should pretty much be a red flag on fire in the first place.

 

I was drunkenly giggling in anticipation of being absolutely horrified, only to find out I've already seen that one.

That reminds me, someone posted a link recently on FB about shock sites and I realized I hadn't seen half of them. Gonna go see the other half now. Drunk is the best time to see these sorts of things, youknow.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/cplu/13-nsfw-shock-sites-are-now-charming-sfw-cartoons" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.buzzfeed.com/cplu/13-nsfw-sh ... w-cartoons</a>

 

Okay, I just realized why half of those sites I'd never seen. It is because they are LAME. I don't want to go to a link and be told about it. I want to see it immediately, to be punched right in the face with it, to choke on my inability to avoid the horror of it.

 

I'll let you shave my pubes any day of the week.

(My new pick up line)

In any event, yes there is a dramatic difference in hair I have to pick up when I don't keep myself maintained. I'm a very hair man (see the Tibber thread for proof) so I always have to pick up hair from both the floor and ensure I wash the bathtub after I take a shower/bath. Getting an unexpected blowjob has nothing to do with why I do maintenance. The only woman to ever complain about the hair was my most recent ex and only because she always had to change the sheets because I shed so much.

 

I just don't love body hair. I'm not one of those hypocrites that wants every girl to be shaved but won't bother with myself, I'm more than fine with admitting my own manscaping. I just feel cleaner. I use trimmers to get it shorter and clean, occasionally a razor for certain spots. Ive been doing it for years and only nicked myself minorly once or twice, so when people act like you're taking a kitana to your nutsack, I just chalk it up to laziness. Girls appreciate it and I feel better myself, win win.

Now where I take it a step farther, during the spring/summer, I take a trimmer under my arms too. Deodorant works much better and I sweat alot less.

 

The greatest of all characters' episode is on right now.

...did he have a single line that wasn't awesome?

 

On one of the other message boards that I read, someone ran a 64 episode tournament bracket for the greatest episode of The Simpsons. That episode defeated "Cape Feare" in the finals.

 

The only one I like better is Homer's Barbershop Quartet. Non-stop hilarious. I loved the halcyon days of that show.

 

That other board was fundamentally WRONG. "I shall send you to heaven... before I send you to HELL." I also nominate Lisa's vegetarian episode.

To me the turning point in the Simpsons was when non-flammable things would explode like Milhouse in a shopping cart. In fact, that was a turning point in modern TV comedy. That moment begat South Park and Family Guy. I stand by this thesis 100%

The show now is more of a variety show for celebrities to advertise themselves. Get famous, get on The Simpsons. It has nothing to do with being funny anymore. It's just there. The irreverence is completely gone.

 

I think of the regulars, Wiggum and Moe are the best. Wiggum is the ultimate caricature of every dislikable aspect of American police, while Moe is the ultimate loser.

Wiggum:

or

Moe: