I tweaked my back this morning...putting on my jacket. Now every time I breathe or, well move really, I feel like someone is sticking their finger all the way though my back. The last time this happened I was reaching for a bra out of my drawer. Getting old sucks. FOCUS: What was the last thing you did that made you stop and remember you're aging forward and not backward? Use prune juice as mixer? Notice a gray hair in your pubes while attempting to shave TiB in there? PS Starbucks has a new drink, frozen strawberry lemonade. I highly recommend it if you're not a big coffee drinker.
Starbucks used to have "energy packets" they'd add to their strawberry lemonade (which was a drink back in like 07-09 maybe they're bringing it back?) so you could be caffeinated AND drinking deliciousness. The energy packets were basically straight caffeine they'd add in. My brother came home from Iraq and ordered one with four packets. The manager came out and was like uh. bro. This may not be a good idea. It could give you some issues. "I've been being shot at for the past 9 months, living on Red Bull and Vienna sausages. I'll take my fucking chances." It was delicious heart palpitating goodness. I feel old shopping. I don't know where to shop anymore. I'm not dowdy enough for the women's section but my booty is too juicy for the edgier section or the juniors section. Also, drinking. Hangovers hurt more.
That's your takeaway? I think what you should've learned is to stop wearing bras. This morning. I walked out to my truck to grab my gym bag, which was behind the driver's seat. I opened the passenger side door, started to lean in and reach across to grab it. But, then I realized I would probably strain something, so I set aside my annoyance of having to close the door and walk all the way around to the other side and access it more easily. Getting old sucks, but there is no substitute for experience. #oldpeople
I think the craziest thing I've experienced about getting older (I'm 41) is that things hurt for no apparent reason. Cuts and bruises take longer to heal. I also apparently sunburn easier than I used to.
I am not that old but I have a worse spine that most 65 year old women. I know because I look at medical records all day. The first time I freaked out over the signs of aging was when I found my first grey hair at 19. I cried all day. I am now 28 and have about a dozen of them that I know of. They are more silvery than grey. Hopefully I will have a swoosh of silver accent on the front like my mom did when she started going noticeably grey. It looked awesome.
Focus: The last time I went to a college bar. I'm still young, hangovers last only one and not two days, but damn. Also complaining over bars being too loud or sitting too close to speakers at receptions, I feel like my dad whenever I want to move away to where it is quieter. We've been taking care of both my brother's hound dog and a neighbor's dopey old cocker spaniel this week and the house has reduced into a fuzzy madhouse, I love it.
Focus: Went to a college bar two weeks ago. Fuck me. I knew they sucked when I was in college, but the age difference was hard to ignore.
The two day hangovers are the constant reminder and I'm doing a pub crawl tomorrow. Last year tailgating a couple of young girls randomly started playing beer pong with us and hung out at the game. We asked them to stop at a bar with us after. They didn't have IDs since it turned out they were 19 and left to find a frat party that would serve them. That experience made me feel old. The first few semesters before you found a reliable party house. That's like first month in college shit.
Focus: Jesus, where would I even begin? Other than the the weird medical issues, things hurting just because, having attractive young women call me "sir", and friends and family dying? The most disconcerting recent development is my memory. Never great, I'm recently finding it harder to remember names, or when a particular event occurred. The other day I was talking with my friend about not being able to make it over to his house last week, and couldn't remember why for the life of me. Somehow I failed to remember that I had taken my daughter and a friend to a concert at Madison Square Garden - a high point in her young life and significant for me for a number of reasons. Completely slipped my mind.
Anyone fly discount airlines like Spirit? Out of boredom really I looked up some fares, the sit looks busch and their travel times just tell me they're second rate.
Former students becoming your coworkers. That's happened to me a few times. And I'm not even old, but fuck does that make me feel like it.
I'm kind of waiting for someone to say when your friends kid graduates high school and/or or earlier, becomes pregnant.
Seeing how old my parents are getting. They aren't that old, but they aren't young anymore. Most 20 year olds don't worry about early signs of cognitive decline. Also...being in a bar or restaurant where the music is blaring. Just having the thought that it's too loud makes me think of my mom. And I'll be damned if I ask someone to turn it down or bitch about it. Nope.
How about telling your stepson (who is 32) to get on the stick, get married and get his mom some grandkids so she will quit bitching. That about what you were looking for? Fuck it, I am going to take a nap.
While driving home from work I was at least a good ten minutes from the closest thing resembling a restroom and I thought my insides were going to come out my butt hole. I finally got to a McDonald's. I was clinching so hard that I was sweating. Thank heavens the stall was clear. I let out what can only be described as a nuke surrounded by napalm. It would have easily been a 9/10 on www.ratemypoo.com. The fact that I'm not paying to have my car detailed tomorrow makes me want to attend church on Sunday. I thank Jesus that I didn't have to pick my son up from day care with poopier britches than he has. Anyway, I assume old people regularly lose control of their bowles. Fuck being getting old sucks.
One of my old coworkers said he started to feel old when he kids of his friends we legally aloud to drink.
Who cares if they're second rate? Flying is as boring as it gets anyway. I always just look for the cheapest flight. Paying an extra $300 or $500 or whatever to get to the same place on the same day isn't going to make any bit of difference. I guess it does if you want to move all the way up to first class, but that's an even bigger waste of money. Never worth it unless the company is paying. I'm 29 and I haven't felt any of the effects of age. The only thing that makes me feel old is having friends with kids, but as for feeling physically old, there's really nothing. I pity all of you going geriatric before you even hit 30.
Interviewed someone today born in '98. I had to do some math before realizing we were legally allowed to hire her. Does that count?
My roommate had an existential crisis when he hit on a girl at a bar, dropped a Chapelle's Show reference, and she had no idea what that was. Not like "oh, I never really got into that show" but "who is Dave Chapelle?"