2020

2019 kicked my ass. Three surgeries, a cross country move after The Husband’s medical retirement, four months in MIL’s house watching The Husband and MIL just go at one another, dealing with mental health fallout everyone is suffering from all of this, trying to hold everyone and everything together...yeah.
If 2020 could maybe not be so aggressive that’d be great.
Honestly, I’d love 2020 to bring The Husband a new job, and to have my job actually root and grow here.

we don’t go crazy anymore. Traffic is crazy and we both really enjoy sleep.
This year a good friend of mine is coming to visit so we plan on seeing how their vibe is. She’s pregnant with their rainbow baby so I don’t know how they’ll want to do.

I’m not a resolution person. I know I won’t keep them so I don’t set myself up for failure.

 

You could just make sure no one wants to hang around that long. As everyone comes in, point them to the bowl where they should "write your name for the partner swap drawing later" and show them the selection of anal lube where they can "choose your favorite flavor." As they stare at you blankly, say "the Everclear and Jagermeister is in the kitchen." If they don't leave - hey, new fun friends! It's a win-win.

 

Just disconnect the TV, serve carrot juice, hire a mime for entertainment, take any booze anyone brings and put it in the cupboard and set up a card table to play Yahtzee. They'll leave. But then you'll be stuck with a mime who's trapped in a box you can't see.I guess you could just shoot him, after all who's going to complain about mime death?

 

2019 has been has been one for the books, personally and professionally.

Around this time last year (first week in January or so) I had my last alcoholic drink, and shortly thereafter discovered the emerging market of non-alcoholic microbrews which is a complete game changer because I loved the taste of beer but didn’t like what alcohol did to me. Right now I’m having some NA whiskey in my coffee.

Started going to the gym regularly around April for the first time in my life. Another game changer. Had to buy literally all new clothes but it was a price I was happy to pay.

Somewhere around there my wife’s grandfather died, whom I was really close to and named one of our children after. That sucked. And then my step father was diagnosed with cancer and it didn’t look good either, but fortunately MD Anderson in Houston is awesome and he’s now cancer free. Unfortunately my grandfather died toward the end of last year, whom I was especially close with. Dementia is a bitch.

Finished setting up my workshop, getting better at striking that work/life balance people talk about, and then my wife and I recently got promoted into positions that pay a lot more than we need for our lifestyle. I still keep in touch with my friends from law school and it’s crazy to see the difference. They’re having to work like crazy and the stress is wreaking havoc on their marriages. Meanwhile I’m at a 40-50 hr week, making more than them, and my wife and I couldn’t be happier with each other. I made the right decision.

Both my boys — 5 and 2 — have taken an active interest in what I do with tools, woodworking, hunting, fishing. It’s cool to see and they’re getting very helpful. Because of what I do I’m able to bring my oldest to work with my sometimes and he’s really matured a lot that way. We set him up a desk next to mine in my home office.

nye focus: we live on a ranch, so fireworks and a big party. Just people we know, good food and about half a grand combined of celebratory explosives. After I go to the gym today I’m avoiding the roads at all costs. Fuck going out.

 

Time to pull the ol' humble brag pants on.

2019 was the year of financial freedom for us. When we got married in 2015, we both became huge Dave Ramsey fans. Since then, we've paid off all our debt (minus the house) built up the 6 months emergency fund and are putting 12% of our income away for retirement (2020 goal is that last 3%). Being a car guy, it sucks at times when I'm climbing into my older truck and my buddy is getting into his new Silverado but then I remember his $750 a month payment for seven years and FUUUUUUCK that noise.

Shops are doing well, wife's job and side hustles are doing great, kitchen remodel is done, the Nova actually started and drove. My only complaint might be that getting older sucks. I've reached the age where beer/wine are starting to affect my waist line. I can no longer drink whenever & whatever I want and not put some flab on. When the light hits my hair just right, you can start to see some grays creeping in around my temples and the small print is getting a little blurrier every year. I'm guessing I'll need reading glasses in ~5 years.

2020 goals are to make it a continuation of 2019.

And something ROTN mentioned; I talk to the guy who took my old management job at the large collision center and I'm pretty sure he'll have a heart attack in time. I make almost what I made there but with 1/10 the stress which makes me a better boss and more importantly, a better husband. Our marriage hit some rough patches in 2017. I was so stressed that any little thing would set me off. Just an irritable prick to be around. No thanks.

NYE plans: Good friend of mine is British and there is a British style pub near us so we'll ring in the British New Year this afternoon and then see if our old asses can make it to midnight back at the house.

 

2019 saw some pretty big changes for us, almost all for the better.

Moved back to our house that flooded in 2016 (and sold the one we were living in during the rebuild - just as big a deal)
My son moving back to the states from Taiwan (he was living with his mom and step-father there)
My son living on his own for @7 months in his own apartment (moved back with mom and step-father when they moved back to the states, back to Houston)
We both upgraded our 13 and 14 year old cars.
The wife took a much less stressful job that pays the same but less crazy.
My job is passing on to me more and more tasks that are supervisor related, so I guess that's good.

For 2020 there's only a couple of things we know are coming:
The step-son is getting married in January and at some point we'll go visit the step-daughter that relocated to Montana.

For NYE celebration we used to get together at my wife's cousin's house for bonfire and fireworks but they moved recently and the new location does not allow either nor is there the space to do it. This year we're going to SIL house for a smaller get-together that will be mostly about food and small fireworks.*


*The wife's side of the family and especially my wife are all about getting together to do something for the nieces and nephews to spend time with each other and the aunts and uncles. Most of the parties are focused on that which I think is really cool.

 

2019 was neither here nor there, first half was ludicrously busy with work and I was burnt out before my trip to Bali, second half of the year has had some great work stuff and overseas trips but in amongst that the mental health has been a it all over the place. Got more qualifications, drank less this year than I have since I started drinking, joined the State Emergency Service, paid off credit card and personal loan and managed to save some money for the first time in my lifewhile managing to fill a complete leg with tattoos. Overall not horrible and to be expected as I deal with my issues constructively instead of burying them under beer and rum and I have my first psychiatrist session in a few days.

As far as celebrating goes I had a sixpack at a friends house and we played Mario Cart, Smash Bros and a dice game called Heckmeck and I'm about to go out on a job to clear a tree off someones property. The future isn't all bad Idiots, enjoy your evening.

 

2019 was definitely a strange year for me. I seem to be doing less of many things I enjoyed- fishing, posting here, going to “my” bar are some examples- but if you were to ask what I’m doing with that spare time I’m not sure I could tell you. It’s kind of an odd feeling, like I’m losing time somehow.

A couple of very close friends have been laid low health wise ( cancer, massive heart attack) but seem to be doing okay .

As for work, that has been even stranger. By my standards I’ve had one of my worst years in recent memory- so as a result I’ve had a glowing job review, a decent raise, a substantial bonus for the first time ever, and an invite to a corporate meeting at a resort in CA. It’s like I’m in Opposite Land. The first half of the year at least was insanely busy (probably accounting for some of that lost time I mentioned) on a project for one of our largest corporate clients- hence the bonus. So paradoxically I’ve brought in less new business than I have in 20 years, but have gotten a career bump when I least expected it.

One of the best things about 2019 was the half dozen or so concerts/ shows I went to, including several with my daughter. The littlest Missanthropic is 16 now, and we have a great relationship. We’ve been to a couple of pop punk shows in the last few months, just her and I, and had a blast.

Alt focus: We’ll be going to a neighborhood party tonight, like we’ve done the last several years. Our neighbors are an awesome group of people - fun as hell, supportive of each other through serious illness and accidents- and tonight will include plenty of food, laughter, bourbon and cards.

 

2019 started well and ended with a series of friends dying of natural causes. I have reached the age that my friends are wearing out and passing away. Just as bad in three hours I am going to be putting down my 15 + year old cat. Again it is the right decision, he is worn out and looked at me last night with an expression of "Hey why are you hanging on to me. I am done".

2020, I just want to get control of my health and make some decisions on how much longer I want to work and how best to transition to retirement. It is not as easy as it sounds.

I wish all you TIBERS and TIBETTES the best in the New Year.

 

2019 was.......a pretty busy year for me.

I got married back in March, followed that up with a job change in July, and then my wife and I went on our (delayed) honeymoon to Japan last month.

Married life is good so far. Her family drives me (and her) a bit nuts. But my wife has been getting better and better about setting boundaries which does wonders for our mental well being. A lot of drama is caused by my wife's brother and his dream crusher of a wife. But instead of trying to change anything or expecting her parents to grow and pair and do anything about them, we're just removing ourselves from the equation for the most part. One of the main reasons we took our honeymoon in November was to avoid having to deal with them for Thanksgiving, which we heard was a colossal shitshow. And I think we'll be planning on doing some sort of trip during during major holiday and then just rotate the remaining ones between our families.

The work move.......was interesting. It was probably the shortest work stint I've had - five months ish. When my wife and I were on our honeymoon, I probably spent the first few days and the last few days of the trip fighting back stress and anxiety. And it just wasn't worth it for what amounted to a not huge pay bump. When I got back from my honeymoon, I wound up getting in touch with my previous job and asked if I could come back. It's a boring, mindless gig. But I get paid well for what is basically a 40 hour a week job. And I think I would rather have a low stress gig that allows me live my life without any huge hassle. Plus, my wife and I, as she likes to put it, are going to "stop not trying" and may have a kiddo in the near future. And I'd rather have a lower stress, more flexible gig if that happens.

So yeah. Hoping for a less hectic year for sure. No real resolutions. The long term plan is to start doubling down and saving up more for a house in the next couple of years. And try to prepare ourselves for potentially adding a smaller version of ourselves in the next year or so.

Alt Focus: My wife and I don't really bar/club hop for NYE. We go out for dinner and then usually hit up a house party. We adjusted our plans this year based on something our friends do. They go out to dinner NYE, but go to a super duper fancy place to end the year on a high note. So that's what my wife and I are doing. There's this Michelin starred restaurant a few blocks from our apartment. So, we're going to have dinner there and then meet up some friends for a house party later.

 

2019 was a hellish year for no good reason.

I lost 33 pounds. Got my pmp. Bought a new car for the first time in my life. Made more money than I know what to do with. Paid off student loans. Went abroad for the first time in 5 years. Had a few interesting relationships develop and blossom. Celebrated 10 years sober.

And yet, 5 out of 7 days, I had suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts of various natures, and 3 days a week I would be in tears for no reason at all. I finally started therapy for depression and keeping track of this was the first step in solving it.

In 2020, I'm looking forward to continuing those changes and momentum.

Thus far, I've lost 6 of the 10 pounds I gained visiting family in SC. My big thing for 2020 is keeping boundaries, so that I'm not sucked into SC drama 500 miles away. Also, just doing SC for Christmas this year.
Doing my change management certification, because why not? Set some serious financial goals for myself because I spent money over the holidays like it going to go bad if I didn't. Trying to branch out fitness-wise, so I'm taking a yoga class, doing BJJ again, and I'm even going to attempt a 5k.

It's hard, climbing out of this hole. I hate depression, and at 35 I feel like I have to fix it now, or it will follow me for ever.

Also, maybe I should try getting laid more.

 

A 5k isn't difficult if you just decide in your head you're gonna do it. First, register for an organized one to give you no backing out. There are tons of great training programs out there, my suggestion would be to pick one then alter it to suit your individual needs. One size doesn't fit all, but they're great as a general guide. Make sure to stretch on your rest days, and invest in a good pair of shoes (or two, to alternate).

Running is amazing for depression. It worked for me as good or better than any meds and therapy I tried. Plus, it was free. Anyone who wants to loose weight and feel better in 2020 needs to train for a 5k. I've done the longer distances, 15-20 miles, and doing a quick 5k makes me feel just as good.

 

No, the 5k won't be hard, I just detest running. All I really want to do is run it in less than 30 minutes.

I'm usually doing 3000 steps in about 40 minutes in the gym, and a 3000 meter row in 15, so the cardio doesn't scare me. The mental elements of "right foot, left foot" for 30 minutes bugs me.

 

2019 wasn’t the greatest- lost the brokerage I was contracted to after 13 years of partnering up and fought with my blood pressure reading constantly to get them healthy.

First week of 2020 I have my bp 20% lower than a month ago and I’m going to meet with a brokerage tomorrow.

2020 is going to be the year of positivity. I’m exercising daily, focusing on a positive attitude, and living everyday to its fullest.

The most important thing I’ve learned this year, that I’ve heard before but never really resonated with me til now- happiness is a choice. Professional success isn’t required for happiness.

 

Aren't you in the DC area? Join a running club and cross off both. I recommend any of the Pacers Running store clubs, but there are numerous others and many have more women members than men.

There's damn near a 5k every weekend around here...you have plenty of options.

 

https://www.parkrun.us/
Check out if one of these is in your area. They're all over the world, free 5km runs and volunteer run. A really friendly atmosphere and a good way to meet new people. I've not done many lately but you get free shirts for different milestones and depending on the event organisers they do dress ups for things like Christmas.