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2019 HOLIDAY WDT [NSFW]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bewildered, Dec 14, 2019.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Happy holidays you idiots. It's Friday the 13th and we are reaching terminal velocity towards Hanukkah, Festivus, Christmas, and New Year's. You can't escape! It's coming for you. The year is about finished and then we'll be in 2020. I give it til about April to stop accidentally writing 2019 on documents.

    [​IMG]
    Sexy Mrs Claus

    At my house this year it's functional Christmas, and el hubs is getting a snow blower and some clothes. We'll be having a nice quiet day to ourselves. After all the travel and family at Thanksgiving I am looking forward to no responsibilities, noise, or expectations.

    Focus: All things holiday season. Got a gift you are pumped to watch your loved one open? Have a fun tradition you are psyched about? Share your favorite holiday recipe.

    Alt focus: Your most awkward holiday memory. Did you walk in on mom and dad celebrating early on Christmas morning? Get a really weird gift from grandma? Bring that repressed memory to the surface. We're here for you.

    Alt alt focus: Caption this:
    [​IMG]

    Alt alt alt focus: New Year's resolutions.

    Happy Holidays y'all. I've had a great year and hope you have too.
     
  2. Juice

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    There was a period where my godmother, who I really like, would gift me girls shit for some reason. The first CD I ever owned was Spiceworld and that was because of her. The following Christmas she got me a sweatshirt from Limited Too. Totally not awkward for an 11-12 year old boy.

    The most awkward Christmas was when I was 6 and exposed myself to an entire party my parents had taken us to. They were absolutely mortified.
     
  3. Crown Royal

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    “A Chris Everett-Lloyd Christmas”.
     
  4. shimmered

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    My fave holiday recipe is Miss Ida’s Eggnog, but with wayyyyy more booze. I use white rum and Jack Daniels honey and whipped vodka.
     
  5. walt

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    Focus: We'll make our usual rounds, and I'm trying to have everything wrapped by Friday so that it's jus a laid back, enjoyable time. We have a family party next weekend, I'm looking forward to that since we don't all get together for the holidays like we used to when we were kids.

    Christmas Day I'm looking forward to seeing my Dad's face when he sees the Taylor guitar my Mom snuck out and bought for him. He's spent his retirement learning new instruments and re-learning guitar, using my old bedroom as his "music room". He was drooling over this guitar and despite the price Mom figured "fuck it", you only live once.

    Alt. focus: The only thing that comes to mind is the year my grandmother bought our younger son a shirt that was obviously made for little girls to wear. We laughed amongst ourselves and played it off like it was a good gift. But it was also when we realized Grandma was slipping.

    Alt Alt focus: "There were two sets of blue balls the day our uncle played Santa."
     
  6. shimmered

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    I’m pooping for the first time since Tuesday.

    this is awful.
     
  7. scotchcrotch

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    I got some Damascus steel knives for my birthday. They’re gorgeous.

    These bad boys will never see a dishwasher.
     
  8. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    My wife and I just got a set of sonos speakers, sub and sound bar for the living room as our joint xmas gift. However, I felt she needed something to open that day. So I did what any rational husband with a sense of humor would do and got her a 60 inch wide tortilla blanket, and an 80 inch wide pizza blanket. She loves blankets and I figured that would be a great way to give her something useful, but also ridiculous.
     
  9. NatCH

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    My wife loves blankets. No matter how many you buy it’s always an appreciated gift.

    Well, we moved out of Nashville and to Nebraska at the beginning of November. Because of the expense we’re not gonna have a big Christmas for each other - just stockings and small stuff like gift cards.
    I left a ten-year career and took a huge pay cut, but my attitude and energy are so much better - I didn’t realize how much my job had taken over my life and was stressing me out. I now work in “E-commerce fulfillment” for a well known clothing store - which is a big way of saying “in a warehouse sorting clothes and picking orders.” But I’m home with my wife every night and I’m off on Sundays. And my success isn’t dependent on making other people care as much as I do. And I get time-and-a-half overtime during the weeks before Christmas.
    I also pack my lunch instead of going out and stress-eating at fast food places. I’ve lost ten pounds since we moved because of that alone.

    Merry Christmas, you idiots.
     
  10. Revengeofthenerds

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    Yeah that's part of the joke. My wife is obsessed. She can bundle up with a good blanket and watch lifetime movies for days. Those blankets are fleece-lined and apparently super comfy. Getting her an awesome blanket would be a perfect gift. But she's also super anal about what we display around the house for guest who never come over. She has a million and one throw pillows. So now she's gonna be in the conundrum of loving those blankets, but also they're an incredibly realistic pizza and tortilla and that's not quite something you display.

    The best gag gifts are ones that are so useful you can't help but have them out, but they're also fucking stupid. Like this penis bottle opener we're getting for my step-dad.

    Congrats on moving and de-stressing by the way. When I decided to quit law-school and return to my career in preschool admin about 6-7 years ago, it was for the exact reasons you stated: less pay, but more time with my family, weekends off and I genuinely love my job and my co-workers (I hated law but I was good at it and it paid well). At the end of the day, as long as the bills are paid, then money is nice but your mental and physical well-being is most important. Taking a pay cut to do what I love was one of the smartest decisions I've ever made.
     
  11. NatCH

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    Yeah, I think this is a great decision for us. My wife and I had good jobs in Nashville, but our schedules were always out of sync. And my job at the music store - I loved it, and I have nothing but great things to say about the company, but it was just time for a change. Add the fact that all of our friends moved out of town within the last few years, and Nashville is growing into a sprawling mess - we didn’t want to settle down there.

    So now I work a Monday-Friday job (working Saturdays only during the holidays), we live closer to my in-laws, which cuts out half of each year’s vacation expenses, and I get to eat dinner at home with the wife and do things with her on weekends. This will also be the first time in 12 years that I spend Christmas with any type of family.

    Another plus is with the free evenings/weekends, this year I’m going to get back into music for myself. Working at the store, I had no energy to do anything music-related because I was around it all the time.
    My ultimate goal is to start my own band - maybe even multiple bands. Set up a wedding/party band that can cater to different needs, with a whole cast of available players. A light jazz trio or a blues band, to a soul band with horns.

    Anyways...

    Focus: Every year on Christmas Eve, I listen to Dylan Thomas reading his “Child’s Christmas in Wales.” My parents would always play the record each year, so I continue the tradition. I even found a mint copy of the record on Discogs, so I can spin it myself.

    Alt Focus:
    The year I found out there wasn’t a Santa Claus, I went downstairs because I couldn’t sleep. Before I could get to the living room, my mom stopped me and told me I had to go back upstairs. When I asked why, her explanation was “I’m...I’m dancing naked in the living room for your dad.”
    When I came down an hour later, the presents were under the tree.
     
  12. dixiebandit69

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    Heh... I remember when Li'l Bandit walked in on me and his mom getting it on when he was about four years old...
    We told him that we were wrestling, naked, and it's something that all parents do.

    A couple of years later, we told him what was really happening back then...
     
  13. Revengeofthenerds

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    I want this guy to voice every xmas song and then I'll be okay with it.

     
  14. walt

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    Got a snow day just days before we're off for a two week holiday break. I should have become a school bus driver a long time ago, this shit's alright.
     
  15. Crown Royal

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    Have you ever seen the movie “The Sweet Hereafter”?
     
  16. walt

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    No, and after reason the synopsis I don't think I will. Geezus.
     
  17. shimmered

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    Today was pre-k Christmas party at kid’s school.
    The teachers told the kids to sit down so the parents could walk. One kid yelled “I don’t have parents!”

    The class ate their snowman parts at the snowman station, and had a problem dispensing glue at another station.

    preschool is bananas.
     
  18. Revengeofthenerds

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    Why do people wait until the last possible moment to christmas shop?

    Last night my wife and I finished wrapping the last of our xmas gifts for everyone, and then at work no less than half a dozen people complained they hadn't even started buying gifts and they aren't looking forward to the crowds. What the fuck?! I think we finished about a week or two ago, with all the sales and shit going on between black friday and cyber monday and the week or so after that. I get it if you're waiting on a paycheck or bonus or something, but if you're just procrastinating to procrastinate? And now with a lot of items online most places (even amazon) can't guarantee delivery buy xmas so you're extra fucked.
     
  19. NatCH

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    This year is especially bad because thanksgiving was so late in the month. People are used to four weeks between the holidays but when the calendar makes it only three, it creeps up on you.
    Today was our cut-off for regular shipping but the next three days are gonna be a shitload of overnight and two-day orders.

    And thank God I’m not on a sales floor anymore.
     
  20. JoeCanada

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    I just pooped for the first time since Tuesday too, but like Tuesday as in earlier today. Went with the grande burrito yesterday so today was a twofer. Merry Christmas to all!
     
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