I find this idea to be fairly silly... You agreed to do something based on a certain scenario. In this case, it was that you were helping people out and they wouldn't be dicks about it. They have since become dicks, so I see nothing wrong with deciding to just step away from the thing now. Contexts can change. It's not like you made a death-bed promise to a loved one that you would stop drinking or something... you offered to officiate a wedding between two people who you've now come to know much better as a result of this shower. I mean, let's take it to an absurd level to illustrate the point. What if the groom called your wife a cunt and punched her in the face, knocking her the fuck out... would you continue to officiate their wedding because "your word is your word?" I would expect not. If you did, then I go back to my original statement of "you're a fucking idiot". Again, the warning signs are there, you're the one pointing them out to us, but you're not acting on them... so don't be surprised if it turns into a shit show and fills your life with unnecessary drama. Now, that being said, go right ahead... I think most of us will find it fucking hilarious (because "not us"), but I felt at least some obligation to point out the foolishness of your ways at least once.
I completely agree with you on every point. Including the part where you said that I'm an idiot. This is the idiot board, after all. So I'm in the right place. I intend to officiate their wedding, which will be a shit show, and I'll share with everyone here for y'alls amusement, and then I'm done. Regarding your hypothetical if he punched my wife... well, I have the microphone. Fucker would have a little surprise in the middle of his ceremony. As it stands, I do intend to slip in a little snide remark during the ceremony. Something only the bride and groom and my wife, FIL and MIL will get. Because fuck them. I'm doing this all for free. If they want something professional, they can pay for it. But they won't so they got me. Unless they wanna pay me, in which case they can't afford it.
And in case you were wondering, there it is right there... the pin being pulled from the drama grenade.
You have now gone from making this all about them on "their day" to this being all about you, on their day. Nothing good will come of it... so don't be surprised.
Yeah I imagine reeling this statement back once I get less pissed. I still have 2 months and I imagine a lot will happen between now and then. Forgive, don't forget.
I still don’t get it. You threw them a party. They didn’t like it and left. It was their party. I feel like that’s their right. As was said above, it’s their wedding, not your wedding. You can be pissed. You can decide not to officiate, but don’t make their wedding all about you and your grudge. Be the bigger man.
As I a understanding it he contributed a whole lot of time and money to put on the party for them that they, ungratefully to his contribution, left. Not understanding why you don't see why he'd be upset?
Totally get why he's upset, pissed, etc, and that's totally legit. I just don't see why he doesn't pull back and remove himself moving forward... or else he's just in it for more of the same.
True, but also a lot easier said than done. That’s like getting advice online to just divorce your spouse when things are rocky. Easy advice to give when youre not dealing with the direct fallout.
I’m still in it because of my mother and father in law. They’ve always had my back and as much as I joke about them and talk shit, I adore them and they’re the first people to do anything for us. If me officiating their son’s wedding makes them happy, then I’m happy. I’ll deal with the use and abuse for that.
Yep, if I were you I'd remove myself from the situation completely and without a lot of fanfare. Anyone who knows the situation should understand and those that dont, fuck 'em. Barring that and you insist on officiating, leave any snide remarks out of it. Be the better person.
Yeah that’s honestly what I plan to do. I know I can MC well. I’ll give them a great wedding, then leave that at that. Anything else they want in the future, well, fool me once....
In response to a rep... just to clarify: My brother-in-law, the groom, our first son has his middle name (my choice actually) and it's visibly tattooed on my forearm. Great guy. We'd still be friends even if something happened between his sister and I. Just his fiance is fucking horrible. We all wanted to say "we told you so," but of course we can't. She runs the thing in the marriage, she was the instigator in the shit show last night, and he hasn't found his balls yet to where he can say no to her. Hence the bet between me and my father in law.
The only reason the guy is excited is because it will make money to help pay for all that goofy shit they bought for the wedding. And it’s an excuse to get REALLY drunk. But lots of guys will still have bachelor parties too. Besides, if a woman doesn’t want her fiancée to have a bachelor party, he should probably leave her or vice-versa. They already don’t like each other. Personally I think a wedding/bridal shower is fucking dumb. You’re already getting gifts WHEN you get married. Baby shower? Yeah that makes more sense. You’re getting useful clean-up supplies for the shit machine that will soon be permanently installed in your home/life.
In fairness, about a year after the brain tumor I learned I had permanent, short-term memory loss. Sucks sometimes, but makes for a great excuse when my wife asks me to do something I don't wanna do and I "forgot." ..... On a more serious note, I do have another MRI scheduled because of pressure behind one of my eyes. Hopefully the tumor isn't coming back, but if it is (which I'm legit scared about, bc pressure behind my eye was my main symptom prior), at least I have a road map for how to deal with it.