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2017 Rise of Jesus WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Apr 14, 2017.

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  1. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    May all you heathens be saved.
     
  2. jdoogie

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    As I like to remind people every year; here's your handy chart for any undead creatures you may encounter this weekend.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. TX.

    TX.
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    Gawd, my patience is at an all-time low. I'm so sick of neurotic, high maintainence bitches. Or people who feel entitled to touch me, give unsolicited advice or tell me that they deserve to be the first to know about x,y,z. Back the fuck off, assholes. The cherry on top is going to my mother-in-law's for dinner tomorrow. She will do and be all of the above. I'm a hair away from curb stomping a cunt.

    My replacement for alcohol is chugging water and shoving food in my face. If my mouth is full I can't talk and say something bitchy.
     
  4. JWags

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    Well that not factual. You don't have to believe he was the son of God, but Jesus was a real historical figure. He's not King Arthur.
     
  5. Misanthropic

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    He sure isn't. King Arthur had a sword, a wizard and a bunch of knights at his back. Jesus had lepers and a bunch of lame ass dudes following him around.

    Arthur for the win.
     
  6. toytoy88

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    Good Friday indeed. My boss called me at 1PM and told me to go home, the rest of the day was paid.

    Cool.

    I get home and the two crazies were screaming at each other in the driveway in front of God and the neighbors. Yay.

    "I'll fucking kill you!"

    Well, that's a pleasant sentiment, at least it wasn't directed at me. Then I might have had to get excited or something.. As much as I want to move, I'm morbidly curious which crazy snaps first.
     
    #6 toytoy88, Apr 14, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  7. Kampf Trinker

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    Why does your mother-in-law insist on touching you? The fuck? Well, that does sound awkward.

    In my own family drama my sister is getting married next Saturday. It's been planned for a year and she hasn't done jack fucking shit, pretty much just asking everybody else to do all the work because she's 'so busy'. Bitch, you've had a year. You haven't been working 24/7 for a fucking year. Bullshit.

    She's also demanded all sorts of things that are basically wasting money just because. For example, she insisted on having a private band play for 45 minutes for $5k. She needs a special necklace for every bridesmaid that costs a few hundred each. I get it, you (hopefully) only have one wedding, but stuff like that is just ridiculous. I'm somewhat shocked she got my mom to agree to cover as much of it as she did.

    Other than her usual insanity and bitchiness I'm quite happy for her though. The groom is a really good guy. Sadly, he's a huge fucking pussy and I can already see him slowly being ground into a shell of a human. My sister is kind of a bitch.
     
  8. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    And, Arthur had Guenivere; Jesus had a skanky ho. Arthur had a round table; Jesus had to build a table.

    Although, they both got a Monty Python homage, so that's a tie.
     
  9. toytoy88

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    Did y'all hire the Rolling Stones?

    45 minutes for $5K?

    We barely made that for a month, then again we sucked. But not that bad.
     
  10. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Yeah, but Jesus does have a couple of holidays and Arthur has...um....let me count them...none.

    Advantage Jesus.
     
  11. Kampf Trinker

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    I don't know who the fuck it is. I've just had to listen to various family members bitch about it. I'm guessing she just flipped through whatever webpages and picked the most expensive band available with that classic 'more money is more gooder' logic.
     
  12. Nettdata

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    If it's Steel Panther, it's worth it.
     
  13. toytoy88

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    Poontang Boomerang is a traditional wedding song isn't it?

     
  14. Misanthropic

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    If they don't dance the first dance to Bukkake Tears the wedding is a failure.
     
  15. Puffman

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    It will be at my next wedding.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    Oh dear God. I googled that...it is real.

    Capture.PNG

    I need to up the game with my lyrics.
     
  17. Misanthropic

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    That is a genuinely great song. I'm a big Steel Panther fan, you idiots hit on a topic right in my wheelhouse
     
  18. Yukon Cornelius

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    Although, the argument could be put forth that Jesus was a wizard and therefore didn't need one in his posse. The whole "water into wine" thing and all.
     
  19. silway

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    Pregnant?

    I will say, the most annoying thing about pregnancy, and then actual fatherhood, from the guy's perspective is definitely other people. We don't get people groping our stomachs randomly, but we also get the endless unsolicited advice, intrusive questions, and every tired cliched joke imaginable. And everyone, EVERYONE, seems to think our baby showed up unannounced suddenly one day and we're scrambling to figure out what's going on, instead of having been planned and researched for. So I get really stupid basic advice that everyone knows. Guess what, random childless spinster, I too have access to Google and TV.

    I do a lot of smiling and nodding these days. With a token chuckle at the same "late night crying and insane wife" joke for the 93784503928409th time.
     
  20. Rush-O-Matic

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    If he were a REAL wizard, he'd have turned water into Bourbon.

    Or, if he really wanted to make that wedding into a party, he'd have turned water into Strawberry daiquiris. Is there anything in the Bible about a conga line?
     
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