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2017 Presidents Day WDT

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Feb 17, 2017.

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  1. wexton

    wexton
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    Not just hungry, but hungry hungry.
     
  2. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Yes, mosquitos are the number one killer and hippos number 2.
     
  3. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Did you know “polygamist ninjas” is a thing? Neither did I. Luckily, our hero owned a sword and was able to defeat them.
     
  4. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    I'm more curious about the "screwdriver machete."

    I want one. I wanna know what it is first, but then I want one.

    *edit* sorry it said screwdriver matches. I still want a screwdriver machete, whatever that is. And now I wanna know what a screwdriver match is, and what the hell a match would have to do with killing a person.
     
  5. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    For getting rid of the body of course.

    For someone that knows all the possible motivations of a public masturbator, I'm surprised you don't already know this.
     
  6. JWags

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    So its not a guitar but actually a Hippo roar at the beginning of Kickstart My Heart?

     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Hungry Hungry Battleship!
     
  8. shimmered

    shimmered
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    You sunk my Simon!!
     
  9. toddamus

    toddamus
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    His name is Simon?
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I think Simon wanted to play BopIt!...
     
  11. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    I think he likes to do drawings
     
  12. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Yesterday, Jungle Julia and I stopped at a gas station, and I found a cheap cell phone in the parking lot. I opened it, and found that it still had service. JJ decided to go through it, and found out a few things:

    1) It was last used the night before, at 11:20 PM, by some guy named Jesse, and he was involved in some kind of shady transaction there.
    2) He has a relationship with a woman named Rosa, which is currently on the rocks.

    So Jungle Julia took a picture of the crease in her elbow, and sent it to Rosa (making it look like an ass-crack), and said "This is where Jesse was last night."

    JJ pretended to be Jesse's other woman (and apparently Rosa had been suspecting this for some time), and she kept this up for awhile in text.
    Eventually her ruse was discovered when she said that Jesse was right there with her, and Rosa said that he was, in fact, with her.

    I don't even know what JJ did with that phone.

    Anyway, if you will excuse me, I'm going to head out to do acid with Jungle Julia tonight/this morning.

    Y'all have fun, now.
     
  13. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Drawrings
     
  14. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Tonight while my wife was in the middle of an orgasm, she somehow backhanded the dildo out from between her lady bits and the hard plastic battery compartment hit me square in the mouth. Bled for a solid few minutes despite pressure, but from the horribly loud *crack!* it made we're just glad I didn't chip any teeth. That would have been an exceptionally embarrassing story.

    It's normally.... uhm, hard, to kill the mood for me, but that did it.

    Not only am I getting sex again tomorrow, but we also agreed I have a freebie prank on her now where she can't do shit back. Should be fun. Especially since now that she's preggo she wets herself when I scare her.
     
  15. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    So... you try to give a vibrator a blow job and end up with free sex out of it?

    Nice job!
     
  16. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Careful when you say that my man, sex is never "free." You're either paying for it by making a nice dinner instead of ordering pizza or you're being extra nice and cleaning up your "damn tools" from around the house.

    At least with prostitutes the transaction is straightforward.

    Or so I've heard.
     
  17. toddamus

    toddamus
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    What did South Park say about hookers? You're not paying them to stay you're paying them to leave?
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    South Park? I'm pretty sure that's from friggen Plato.
     
  19. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    IT'S FROM TUCKER MAX GAWR!!
     
  20. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Tucker Max? Isn't that the short guy who tried to make a shitty movie about picking up sluts at the bar that flopped horribly?
     
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