I also have that question. We all do. At this point it appears that our goal (at first I thought it was just me, but my other siblings -- I'm one of 6 -- have teamed up with the common goal) is just to make her life a living hell. The prevention of the show being made is a foregone conclusion.
If the first time you appear on camera it's not wearing an eye patch holding a fork with a cork on the end of it, I will be disappointed.
I overestimated the professionalism of the film crew. They were idiots, and ended up drinking with us. We all played the long game and successfully convinced them that us as a family were the real story rather than my sister. Except when it comes time to fill out those contracts for photography and videotaping, none of us will sign. Some of the film crew does want to go fishing and hog hunting with me though, so that should be fun, especially with their drone. All was not lost.
Dude. YOU are the reality show and YOU are being conned. Your sister knows you would never agree, used herself as bait, you buddy up with the film crew. They film with their drone, oh, and " just a couple handhelds because I've never been hog hunting." And then they show you the "awesome" footage. And, "oh, hey, we could use this for something, you'll make easy money, sign here." I'm sure they've already talked about how awesome you think those fail compilation videos are.
You forgot... "here, have a beer... what? nah, just have one... that won't hurt..." The next thing you hear is the sound of him falling off the wagon, and fade in to him waking up in his sister's underwear, spooning a possum.
While all that would be fun in reality, there is exactly zero chance this will happen. After talking with the crew (whom I liberally fed beer throughout when my sister and their producer wasn’t looking), I found out that they were merely filming a “teaser” and that they then take it to market with everyone and their brother with a GoPro and let studios bid on it. They were all from Austin, where I was in film school for a year (shut up) before my brain tumor. Tonight was a blast for me just making friends and hearing interesting stories, but those fuckers had no clue what they were doing. Amateur hour. Meanwhile, an atomic bomb is about to go off amongst the family after I pulled the strings and cackled to myself. My wife has said on many occasions that I am the most psycopathic manipulative person she knows and she’s glad I’m on her side. Tonight, I did it in front of the cameras. And now I sit back in front of a good fire with a Cuban cigar and a Shiner Cheers and laugh to myself and the vast wilderness that surrounds me. Cheers, you crazy fuckers.
Dude. You're on "Intervention." Just wait and see. In other news....Crazy is in another battle with another neighbor. Supposedly there have been death threats made and police reports filed. He's going to file a civil suit and restraining order. And the world continues spinning. Three years plus of living here and I still have yet to have any encounter with all these angry neighbors we're supposedly surrounded by.
I guess to add some context, my sister runs a boutique baby nursery thing. She did Jessica Simpson’s baby nursery was the biggest I think. Jessica Alba if I remember correctly. A bunch of celebrities. She was in People magazine for a hot second for that and I’m sure someone can google it with enough time, I don’t care. The boutique baby nursery deal was a trend, that’s on its last breath. This was her effort to breath more life into the business. And yes, for the like two women on the board, Jessica Simpson really is the entitled bitch you think she is.
She tried that too. Even pitched it without my knowing (and tried to get me committed a few years back). I wish I was joking. Damn fame whore. Turns out all I needed was some counseling, then realizing I had a pair and acting like it. Sorry to side track, but mental illness is horrible and it sucks and I’ve seen the depths. But at a certain point too, you gotta be like “this is just in my head,” then sack up and get over it. The world doesn’t care. Move on with your life.
You’re going to regret being Ebenezer with your rent when they all join together to burn down the house with you inside. Will your face ever be red.
Strangely, nothing ever happens when I'm here. It's like it happens in an alternate universe or something.
I’m shocked he didn’t come back. My favorite exit from the board was when everyone was on a paleo kick and there was a guy that quit because happyfunball told him it was ok for her kids to eat cake sometimes. He took offense to that.
Todamus told me he was still gonna be around but lurking. I genuinely feel bad. His twin has the same type brain tumor I had, in the same place, but I guess there are degrees of “ok” and he was on the lower degree whereas I lucked out. Dude has a lot of shit to deal with. He’ll mature. Just acted in a real immature way when Nett gave him a dose of the real world vs your opinions.
One of my friends at work today was complaining that she'd broken out in itchy hives and that they seemed to be multiplying. I informed her that she probably had skin worms. About two hours later she smacked me in the head. After searching the internet for a couple hours she figured out there's no such thing as skin worms.
Ring worms are no joke though. It’s a nightmare come to life. I escaped them but a few members of my family didn’t. That’s what they get for petting wild pigs.