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2015 Holiday WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Dec 11, 2015.

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  1. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    The office Christmas party is next Friday. It's being catered by a BBQ joint. That will be the high point. No booze? For Christmas? Party? What?

    It's not appropriate for an insurance agent to drink while doing insurancey type things right?

    Air all holiday grievances here. And everything else.
     
  2. Rush-O-Matic

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    That depends. Will it make my premiums go up or down?

    Y'all have to remove party from the title, though, if there's no booze. It's just a Christmas Luncheon or Christmas Dinner at that point. If there's no chance Linda from claims is going to photocopy her butt later or Tina and Betsy aren't going to make out with Brad from accounting, you could just hand out grocery gift cards instead.
     
  3. katokoch

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    My girlfriend's work holiday party was at a private venue room in Target Field last weekend. It was awesome. My company's will be held in a small bar/bowling alley and will be awesome too, but not like ridiculous prime rib and good bourbon all night awesome. There was a hypnotist last year but unfortunately nobody did anything embarrassing or memorable like you always hope.

    Also, I want to party with this lady: Texas grandmother, 81, smashes beer mile, says she could have 'run a lot faster' drinking scotch
     
  4. CharlesJohnson

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    Last time I trusted an insurance agent they sold us an all inclusive hurricane policy that wasn't all inclusive or even include wind damage. Cue hurricane. Two of them in 4 weeks of each other.

    The only thing I'm looking forward to this season is a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape on Xmas.

    NYE will be bitchin' too. Gonna fingerbang under the mistletoe.
     
  5. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    That's not what "standing around with your thumb up your ass" means.
     
  6. Trickysista

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    Disturbed

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    My office "open house" is today. It's for attorneys and staff from 4:00-5:00 where we all stand awkwardly in a conference room and don't co-mingle. Then clients show up at 5:00 and the staff goes home. They do have a champagne fountain and hand out flutes with cranberries in them. That's about the only highlight, if you can even call it that. Woo!
     
  7. Currer Bell

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    When I worked for the feds, we reserved Captain George's in DC for 4 hours. The employees paid for their own plates and drinks. Lots of people drank, but I was a teetotaler at the time. I also didn't like seafood at the time, so current me just wants to slap past me over the head for not boozing and shrimping my ass off when I had the chance.

    I still work for the govt, but state govt now. Our floor has a pot luck during lunch break and on a different day my very small division goes out to a local (banal and yet somehow popular) pizza place for lunch. No booze and no usurping of taxpayer dollars for frivolity.
     
  8. Bundy Bear

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    Our section is having our end of year piss up this afternoon, the theme is Cowboys and Indians and it's on a party bus so I will be ridiculously drunk on free beer and dressed as Pocahontas. Tonight should be interesting.
     
  9. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Rapist.
    image.jpg

    I find mistletoe belt buckles work best.

    Our Christmas party is tomorrow. Nothing unveils who the true douchebags are at work than the office Christmas party, it's when you meet the REAL version of your co-workers.

    Only karaoke can cause you to lose the respect of those who work next to you more easily than the Christmas party. They're fucking poison.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    We had our Christmas Party today. We have a beer fridge that gets wheeled out once a month for similar parties. It was alright. There is a new girl in accounting fresh out of college that looks JUST like Gilly from game of Thrones but with huge boobs. I think Im in love.
     
  11. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Our Christmas party was Wed. night. I didn't go, which is a good thing. Apparently one of the maintenance guys got drunk, groped one of my friends, and wouldn't stop until the head of HR yelled at him.

    I would've been more subtle. I would've beat him into the hospital. So, yeah, it was good I didn't go.
     
  12. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Maybe they're just keeping the booze away from you, because they know better.
     
  13. dieformetal

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    Hurricanes Are My Bitch

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    LOOK EVERYONE! AWESOMENESS!

     
  14. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Jesus Hudson Christ you never learn do you? I can hear your gears turning from here. Do you crave awkward post-sex heatscores at work? If memory serves me you luckily and barely escaped the last nut you nutted.
     
  15. D26

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    They're having the teacher Christmas party next week. Nothing says "party" like hanging out in the school library choking back one of the crock pot meatballs that almost everyone brought.

    I'll be skipping this one. Sure, makes me look like an antisocial dick, but I AM an antisocial dick, so it's cool.

    Semi-related note: I've gone to bed drunk every night this week. The last two weeks of a semester are hell for teachers, mostly because kids who don't give a flying fuck about their grades for 4 months suddenly want all the extra credit in the world to help them pass, and proceed to have mommy and daddy call to complain when I tell them no.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    I'm the same way. They've pretty much learned at work not to even ask me. A few months ago they had an awards banquet, I was one of the one's who was supposed to receive an award. I wasn't even invited.

    I heard about it later from a co-worker, she actually complained on my behalf and was told "He wouldn't come even if we did invite him." And they were right.

    If I wasn't so good at my job they would've deep sixed my ass long ago for being so anti-social. They're still scratching their heads as to why all my clients love me.
     
  17. TX.

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    Our Christmas party is a potluck with meat provided by the cafeteria. It almost goes without saying that I don't eat the meat. Ain't nobody know where that's been. Our managers awkwardly sit next to us, and everyone tries to act like they're happy about it.
     
  18. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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  19. Crown Royal

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    I've done music for Christmas parties over the years, they are damn awkward, like Ground Zero for impulse. It's hilarious too, while employees get wasted and embarrassed themselves, their plus-ones act like angels and spend the night rolling their eyes in humiliation at the drunk idiot they came with. Why are they sober? They don't want to embarrass their date/spouse/whatever in front of their co-workers. Can you imagine if EVERYONE got shitfaced at these forced soirées?

    HIM-"Honey, this is my supervisor Mr. So- And-So.

    HER-"Oh, THIS is the guy you've been complaining about for the past year on how you want to clean out his skull with an ice cream scoop and take a shit in it?"

    HIM-"No, that would be his brother, who owns the company. Sigh."
     
  20. xrayvision

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    That's weird. It thinks I'm from New Jersey. On the plus side though, somewhere in America, a sunshower is also referred to as "the devil is beating his wife." So I will be using that from now on.
     
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