Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

2014 CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,382
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,397
    Location:
    Boston
    My cat threw up on my bed this morning. That's the last time I give him salmon and whipped cream for dinner.
     
  2. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,909
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    Get a dog. They have stronger constitutions. The only times our retriever ever threw up were 1) the time he ate an entire chocolate bundt cake, 2) the time he ate an entire bag of friendship bread dough that had been proofing - bag and all, and 3) the time he found all the chocolate easter eggs before we did.
     
  3. shimmered

    shimmered
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    351
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Messages:
    4,469
    Bullshit dogs have proper constitutions. Dogs vomit over something as simple as changing the brand of their food.


    Granted, it could be because they're bored in boarding and spend time licking the walls, but...whatever.
     
  4. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    171
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,673
    When I read the first sentence I thought the second sentence would be "They will eat the cat's puke." Because that is what my dog does sometimes. We've always had a habit, whenever the cats puke, of covering it with a box until it dries enough to be more easily picked up. We've done that a couple of times since getting our dog, until we noticed that she somehow manages to levitate the box away from it. As in, I'd come downstairs in the morning and the box wouldn't be knocked over, it would just be sitting next to where the puke had been.
     
  5. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    My lab found a pheasant wing in my parents garage over the weekend (for hunting training), ate the whole thing, and accordingly puked it up right outside his kennel too. My mom freaked out and thought he ate a pile of nails. He was fine.

    On the other hand, my roommate and a friend came home from a bar absolutely shitfaced last night and his friend puked all over his bed right after they got back to our place. I woke up to the entire apartment smelling like Jack Daniels mixed with sour milk. Fun fun.
     
  6. shimmered

    shimmered
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    351
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Messages:
    4,469
    Brillo pads. My two idiots ate a box of brillo pads.
    Gave them hydrogen peroxide, they vomited that back up.
    They ate bacon wrapped dates. With toothpicks in them.
    They didn't vomit, and they didn't have any blockages. So that's a win.
     
  7. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out
    Cross country is cool and all, but I had so many coaches use long distance running as punishment that it's hard to get out of that mindset.
     
  8. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    143
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    1,104
    Location:
    Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
    My dogs have eaten raw deer, elk and moose carcasses as well as pig organs, cattle pieces, dead goats after my parent's last stupid goats died (I cut out the heart and kidneys to eat from the two goats, the dogs got everything else), yesterday they killed and ate a snowshoe hare, and often do they kill and eat voles, deer mice and house mice around my house. I find most cats vomit because they just greedily inhaled their food and that made them puke. Dogs are sterner stuff. And some dumb kitties never get that hardly chewing and just inhaling their kibble leads to just puking everywhere.
     
  9. shimmered

    shimmered
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    351
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Messages:
    4,469
    ^^^^ that. My basketball coach made it a requirement that to play the next year, you had to run three miles a day at the end of basketball season until summer started, then three weeks before school started, you had to be back at school running 3 miles a day again in prep for basketball season.

    No thank you.
    Between that sadist and the army, I fucking haaaaate long distance running. I've always loved sprinting, but that LSD (or even LFD) shit is for the birds.


    Canis - city vermin like rabbits and squirrels are more likely to carry diseases I don't want my dogs to have than animals from the woods/wild.
     
  10. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    I played basketball. Luckily we never had to run or else not sure I would have made it.

    I was in a dispute with my daughter's gym teacher recently. He makes his class wear heart monitors and they have to maintain an 80% heart rate for 20 minutes to get an A. They are currently playing 3 on 3 half court basketball. She swims 8-10,000 yards a day and swims the mile--66 fucking laps--in a AA time. Do you really think she is going to get her heart rate up playing half court basketball? For 20 minutes straight? The thing that pisses me off is that if they don't get that 80% and want a better grade, she has to either go to the gym and run the treadmill after school, or she can take a heart monitor home and do it then. So after swimming for 2 hours, more treadmill running. I asked if he had a waterproof monitor so she could just wear it during practice since that's what the soccer player and cross country runners do. I was just being a smartass as I knew they didn't. She seriously had a 50% in gym. How is that even possible? 100% participation, 20% heart monitor grade. I just told her to suck it up and get through the year. I wouldn't even care about the gym grade so much but she's shooting for a swim scholarship and a bad grade in gym would be odd. Plus she's an awful runner. Does about an 8 minute mile, but weirdest looking run I've ever seen. Swings her arms weird. I've never said anything to her about it, but it's funny.

    One of my friends said to tell him it's a HIPAA violation him knowing her heart rate. Not a bad idea. Wonder if it would work.
     
  11. shimmered

    shimmered
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    351
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Messages:
    4,469
    Why don't her athletics count for her PE credit?
     
  12. Clutch

    Clutch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    542
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,783
    Sounds more like the numbers he's using are wrong.
     
  13. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    Big argument about that. We wish it would but it doesn't in our school district. With this teacher if she misses a class she has to make it up. The other gym teacher is easy peasy.

    Exactly. That was the point I was trying to make. Different conditioning for each student. He's had swimmers before so I don't understand why he was confused. During basketball she was jogging in place when she didn't have the ball to try to keep her heart rate up. I never did that and I played the game. Insane. I think she brought her grade up to a B by taking home the monitor and running. But it ended up only being at 80% for 15 minutes so she didn't even get full credit. That's the best part too. They don't know how they are doing until they hand it in. So they can't even track it.
     
  14. xrayvision

    xrayvision
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    509
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    6,323
    Location:
    Hyewston
    Does she have a male friend she can loan it to while he...does cardio?
     
  15. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    Good thinking! I'll have her ask around! I'm sure tons of guys do...cardio...for 20 minutes.
     
  16. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,307
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,102
    Extra Gravy

    Soup and salad or KFC? KFC, of course! I try not to eat there very often, because it'll kill me. Not the food - the fact that I want to blow my brains out, because of this exact conversation I have every time I go there.

    Me: Yeah, I'd like the 3 piece tender $5 Fill Up with mashed potatoes, and an UNsweetened tea. (Every time I go to this KFC, they think I say "sweet tea," so I emphasized the "un.")

    KFC: Okay, that's the tenders with sweet tea. Would you like any sauce?

    Me: No, UN . . . sweetened tea. No sauce.

    KFC: Say again?

    Me: UN . . . sweetened tea. I know that's not even really correct and that y'all don't actually sweeten the tea and then remove the sugar. So, just tea.

    KFC: 5.35, drive forward, please.

    (R-o-M drives to the window)

    KFC: (handing food) 5.35. Any sauce?

    Me: No thank you. But, I would like two packs of Sweet N Low.

    KFC: Did you have unsweet tea?

    Me: No, stupid, unsweet isn't even a fucking word. But, if I just ordered "tea," you'd have given me sweet tea, which is why I distinctly said several times quite clearly that I wanted UNSWEETENED tea.

    Okay, I didn't say that last part. But, I wanted to.
     
  17. silway

    silway
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    76
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,052
    Give it to her boyfriend and tell him that he needs to up his stamina so she can get a good grade. Win-win for everyone involved.
     
  18. gamecocks

    gamecocks
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    132
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,422
    Re: Extra Gravy

    You're in the South. Tea is Sweet tea by default. Especially at bbq or fried chicken places.
     
  19. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,307
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,102
    Re: Extra Gravy

    Oh, yes, I am aware of that. I grew up in the South. So, that's why I made it a point to say very clearly and loudly, UNsweetened tea. Stupidity or being hard of hearing is the default, too, I guess. I mean, I didn't think she was working at KFC to put herself through medical school or anything, but still.
     
  20. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    Step 1: get her a boyfriend.

    This is going splendidly. I knew I could count on you guys!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.