Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

2013 Christmas/New Years Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Dec 7, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 128 of 130
  1. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    20
    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Messages:
    1,031
    Location:
    Earth, The Universe
    #2541 lostalldoubt86, Jan 13, 2013
  2. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,909
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    Things I know from experience: Sometimes you will have people staying at your house. And sometimes, after they leave, your nipple clamps will also be gone. And, because they are coworkers, you will just avoid the awkwardness and buy yourself new nipple clamps because WHO THE FUCK STEALS NIPPLE CLAMPS FROM A COWORKER?
     
    #2542 Angel_1756, Jan 13, 2013
  3. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    That is quite possibly the best all text post in the history of this board.
     
    #2543 McSmallstuff, Jan 13, 2013
  4. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    So there I am getting the kids ready for nap time. I told Kenny to go to the bathroom. This little punk ass, pale faced, my food eatin, four year old, Sum-a-mum bitch told me "wait." Little jack ass didn't even bother to look up.

    That Aryan bastards lucky I didn't throw him through a wall. "Wait!" My father would still be beating my ass if it had ever even crossed my mind to tell him "wait." That's his fucking moms family right there. My family has the good sense to fear our parents like you're supposed to.

    "Wait?" Bet you he'd be pissed off if I told his useless non football playing ass to wait on some food!
     
    #2544 McSmallstuff, Jan 13, 2013
  5. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    776
    Location:
    Oregonia
    I just watched some kid do nothing but dumbell curls in a squat rack. If this is you go kill yourself please.
     
    #2545 PewPewPow, Jan 13, 2013
  6. jdoogie

    jdoogie
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    414
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,039
    Location:
    Columbus Ohio
    C'mon man, why you gotta be hatin' on Sunday Gun-day? Squats are for sissies. Every bro knows curls get the girls!
     
    #2546 jdoogie, Jan 13, 2013
  7. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    Hannah Davis is the name of the girl from the direct tv genie commercial. You're welcome.
     
    #2547 McSmallstuff, Jan 13, 2013
  8. ssycko

    ssycko
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    1,550
    Location:
    Being not a hipster
    I almost blew a gasket last time I went to squat. I was in a bit of a hurry and EVERY squat rack was being used for curling. THEY HAVE BARS 20 FEET AWAY DESIGNED TO BE USED FOR CURLING YOU LIMP DICK MOTHERFUCK WHO IS DOING BARELY MORE THAN THE BAR FFFFFF

    In other news, watching audreymonroe drink the entirety of a random girl's drink without the girl noticing and then watching said girl show her friends the empty glass in confusion was pretty great.
     
    #2548 ssycko, Jan 13, 2013
  9. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298

    Fuck maybe if you guys weren't judgmental pricks you'd offer some advice to these guys on how to properly work out. Fucking GAAAHHWLLLLLL.
     
    #2549 Kubla Kahn, Jan 13, 2013
  10. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out
    What did you expect would happen when you started working for kink.com?
     
    #2550 Nom Chompsky, Jan 13, 2013
  11. caseykasem

    caseykasem
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    May 6, 2010
    Messages:
    614
    I don't know that there's a worse end to winter break than reading federal taxation statutes in preparation for the first class of the semester. This shit is fucking painful.
     
    #2551 caseykasem, Jan 13, 2013
  12. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Maybe stumbling on the harsh realization that you're probably not going to get a high paying job as a lawyer and even if you do you will hate it?
     
    #2552 Frank, Jan 13, 2013
  13. Flat_Rate

    Flat_Rate
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    132
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,488

    Your doing that willingly? Sounds like torture

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]



    That help?
     
    #2553 Flat_Rate, Jan 13, 2013
  14. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out

    On the bright side, you might end up semi-accepted on a moderately popular messageboard with a couple fond years of Juco basketball to look back on.
     
    #2554 Nom Chompsky, Jan 13, 2013
  15. Binary

    Binary
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    388
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,080
    I don't know, it sounds like win/win to me.

    If you have any shame whatsoever, you won't say anything to a coworker about it, and hey, free nipple clamps.

    And if you are the type of person to say something, there's probably a better-than-average chance they can get you to join in.
     
    #2555 Binary, Jan 13, 2013
  16. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    401
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,974
    Would anyone fuck Glenn Close? Are lesbians even turned on by Glenn Close? I imagine when she takes her clothes off she's got a huge clit and two balls dangling off her vagina lips. She has the plumbing of both sexes and 4 different species, one of them unknown to science.

    Is power even sexy to men? I can't think of a guy that'd fuck a woman because she has 6 Oscar noms and a ton of cash and clout. Some dude would sugar mama it, yeah, but never heard of a guy that's sitting there biting his lip, waxing his carrot to Glenn Close or Janet Reno or Hillary Clinton. "Gonna tap that ass Miss Reno, going to make you Secretary of salad tossin' you yeti looking fox."

    What I'm getting at is, when I was a kid, when I thought there was a monster under my bed, it was probably Glenn Close waiting to strip the flesh from my legs when I stepped onto the floor.
     
    #2556 CharlesJohnson, Jan 13, 2013
  17. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,391
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,434
    Location:
    Boston
    Why so harsh on Glenn Close? Have a guilty jerk off sesh you want to confess?

    Janet Reno would be terrible in bed. Her and maybe Linda Tripp in a threesome.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Can you imagine the moaning? The deep, guttural moaning?
     
    #2557 Juice, Jan 13, 2013
  18. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    No but it sounds like you can. Is there something that you would like to confess?

    And here's what should have been a feel good video but didn't quite work out that way:
     
    #2558 happyfunball, Jan 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  19. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    [​IMG]
     
    #2559 Frank, Jan 13, 2013
  20. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    14
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,185
    How did you get my emails to Janet? This is so embarrassing.
     
    #2560 MoreCowbell, Jan 13, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 128 of 130
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.