2011: A bad year for evil

This year started out as one of the lowest in recent memory. I had a lot of my dreams crushed about a 9-5 office job: I hated it, I hated the people, the money was awful and the stress was unreal over a job that paid less than teaching. No friends, living in an uber-Christian, shit hole, wasting my time. Throughout my education, I was taught this was the sought-after life: a job, benefits, salary, settling down, home ownership, etc. I realize now how unhappy I was and how my education failed to prepare me for anything else. Fuck the Office Space lifestyle, in short.

Then I moved to Bali.

The job is much more comfortable, I meet literally a dozen interesting people each week, with money tied to my performance and not to the smallest amount they can convince someone to take. The scenery is amazing, I have no cause to be bored, because there's always something else I can learn to do. I decided on a grad school, and I have a few more options for my next step, which is more than I could say this time last year. I'm an uncle, which has been wonderful for my family. My sister has went from a generally worthless human being to a surprisingly natural mother, taking her responsibilities seriously and not dumping her daughter off on my mom. A few of my relationships have improved thanks to the distance, a few have suffered, but for the first time in a lot of years, I am happy with the people I'm with, my surroundings and I have no concerns over job security or "What the hell do I do now?".

Nothing's perfect, but for now, I'm much happier than I was 12 months ago, with some legit life experiences under my belt, not at all tied to building a resume.

 

2011 was kind of so-so.

I passed my first state exam with a pretty good score in spring.
This means my chances of fucking this up went down significantly and now I get to learn about the more interesting things.
I finally started to learn a marital art, which I wanted to do for a long time, and I fucking love it.
On the personal side, things didn't go so well.

A good friend of mine and I hooked up while drunk and since then things somehow went south pretty fast.
We both contributed to this and it sucks that it happened.
I had an argument with another friend of mine a few weeks ago and after all the head-butting and fights we had in the past, I decided that I didn't want to continue the friendship.
Never had to part ways with a friend like this and certainly not looking forward to doing it again.

So, to sum it up, things concerning my education were pretty much ok, but on the personal side there were definitely better years than 2011.

 

The year had its ups and downs. I lost a friend to an alcohol/K2 overdose, and another is sitting in county jail awaiting trial for shooting his ex while he was drunk. My wife was told she was being laid off at the end of January back in August, then told in November they revised the head count and she wasn't being laid off, but it still made for an interesting 3 months (especially since they gave her the layoff news the day before her hysterectomy).

On the positive side, I never lost my shit through any of it.

I'm looking forward to 2012. Last semester of school, getting back in the workforce on a completely different career path, having my oldest go away to college in the fall (not saying I'm looking forward to getting her out of the house, but she really needs to get out and start experiencing life and learning how to live on her own). It's really going to be a whole new chapter.

 

2011 wasnt too bad, spent alot of time in the lakes around here, drank alot of booze. 2012 can only get better, until the world ends that is, the summer should be fun though. Bud Bash will be the shit.

 

Man, what a fucking year:

Struggling to come to grips with the fact that I`m going to be a doctor in six months. Breaking up with my girlfriend (whom I lived with for 2 years), trying to get back together, getting rejected. Having sex with several pretty ladies (and some not so pretty) to dull the emotional pain. Visiting my brother and his wife in Houston, traveling with my two best friends to New Orleans, San Francisco and Las Vegas. Generally being unproductive, fucking around while lectures and work make me zip through the days at lightning speed, lacking any sense of direction or momentum.

Here`s to 2012 being a year where I finally find purpose, and passion, again.

 

It's hard to judge 2011 since it's largely been a transition year.

2012 will be the year that I finally (Hopefully!) am able to move out to Chicago and actually try branching out in the world. I can't say for certain it'll be better, but it sure as shit can't be worse.

 

2011 was a big year, for better and worse. I spent the summer in Hong Kong with school and it was the best 2.5 months of my life. When people talk about life changing experiences, this summer was mine. I spent a lot of time improving myself from the inside out- trying to understand why the people on top of the food chain are where they are and making small changes to build a mental foundation of my own to improve and apply as I mature. I presented to corporate executives, CEOs and manufacturing tycoons while I was there but more importantly, I also learned a lot about team work and playing nice in the sandbox. Being right is only half the battle- getting others on board and convincing them of the same without creating a rift is the bigger challenge.

I'm learning to talk less. People will tell you everything you need to know with and without words. My father understands this- I'm learning to. This is a huge fundamental social change for me. Listening more, biting back the pride and ego and calling dad when I don't understand why something isn't going the way it should. There is no shame in asking for help or advice- there is in messing up because my ego got in the way.

I've learned to constantly challenge myself. Complacency and procrastination bring the best people down- I have to be more disciplined in 2012; in my school work, on the rugby pitch, in the gym and socially. When I get bored, I stop trying. Sometimes this is a good thing but other times it signals a lack of discipline. I need to be better here.

Some relationships need to be strengthened, others cut loose. This speaks for itself. I need to accept less bullshit and be more direct when confronting it. I need to police my own bullshit and understand when I'm at fault (even if I won't admit it publicly) and I also need to be able to accept criticism without the need to defend everything.

I've been dating a girl for the last two years. If I were 30 and looking to settle down, she's marriage material. But I'm not there yet and I'm finding myself wondering if it's time to call things off. She's an amazing girl, someone guys line up for a chance with but part of early 2012 is deciding if it's right for me. Either way, I need to follow through with my head and my heart completely in it.

I will be graduating and entering the job market in June. I'm cautiously optimistic and working to find alternatives if I can't find an immediate job in my field of study to pay the bills. Discipline in my studies my freshman and sophomore years could have kept me nearly debt free out of college. I was too shortsighted then and went for the partying and the girls. It wasn't drop out of school excessive, but my mind was in the wrong place and I'll pay for it in the coming years in the form of student loans. Lesson learned. Don't take on unnecessary debt to fuel fun.

I need to be more direct and less afraid to hurt feelings. This ties back to teamwork but there's no room to be passive-aggressive. Think less, act more. When I look back on times when I've been successful, I didn't over-analyze, I acted. This crosses over all aspects of life and I need to be better about applying the lesson.

Last but not least- enjoying my last 6 months of college. I have a lot of work ahead and a lot of years working but 6 months left in school. College has been everything I expected and more. I love my field and wholeheartedly believe I have the skills to be successful in life but what's the point if I didn't have fun doing it?

This is a long post but it also isn't specific to 2011 or 2012. Life's an adventure and I'm beginning to appreciate that. We will be losing a couple family members to terminal illness this year but we also dodged some bullets with others. I find myself enjoying the small things, time with family when it's available, the conversations and the life lessons. Instead of aiming for a predetermined set of milestones (graduate high school, get into college, graduate college, get a job, make money, etc), I'm aiming for who I spend my time with, consistent personal improvement and when in doubt, the pursuit of happiness.

I'm looking forward to 2012. I've got lots of work to do but I think I'm on the right path, starting with cleaning my room today.

 

I would like to sum up 2011 as such:

And ye whilst I sat pant-less upon a perfectly ergonomic cloud made from the wings of angels, I didst receive a toothless blowjob from Salma Hayek 5 times a day to coincide with the calls for prayer, oops did I say "prayer" I meant "pizza".

It was aight.

 

2011 was alright. I graduated college, started law school in a different state, broke up with a long time on-again/off-again girlfriend, made a new best friend, dated and broke up with a fellow law student and neighbor (I know, what a stupid idea), worked for my dad and had a minor falling out then mended the relationship. I found out what real work was last semester but know I can correct mistakes and improve this semester.

 

Not a bad year for me, passed another exam, the GF moved down from Boston full time, this is a big improvement in sex life, things have been great with my family (not that they were bad before, more like things remained smooth) and I was able to stockpile some money in my savings account.

Socially it was kind of meh though. I didn't see my friends back home too much and my friends here all have family in the area and work way too hard so I didn't see them much. My saving grace is having a cousin and his family a town over.

Also, I lost about 10-15 pounds near year end, can't complain there.

 

Just awful.

I spent the first six months in Spokane with my sister who treated me like an abused husband, almost got dicked out of graduating college by my dad, lost two nearly decade-long friendships because "If you don't want to have a relationship with D, then there's no reason for us to be speaking," I had to give away my dog, my graduate program that I was going to enter next year got cancelled out of the blue, my sister decided unless I kiss her ass then she's going to prevent me from ever seeing my niece, and my two best friends moved to the UK and Australia, making it much harder to keep in touch.

I've started 2012 with the mentality that if my Plan B: Get into other grad programs doesn't work out, then Plan C: Travel around like a vagabond adventurer is at least very feasible at this point.

Edit: And now that I think about it, I am pretty sure I only had sex once the entire year. Family problems are the goddamn worst.

 

Does anyone else read about hot young people not having sex for a year and just start mentally screaming "but your days of generating shock and awe with your naked body are numbered! You have your whole life ahead of you to accomplish meaningful things, but all too soon gravity and a slowing metabolism will inflict their terrible injuries on you. In the immortal words of the sadly non-immortal Janis Joplin, get it while you can!" No? Just me? Well, this is awkward.

Ahem. 2011 was good. It saw the end of an 8 year friends with benefits relationship that was in danger of becoming ethically problematic, and ushered in some interesting dates with interesting people. The worst thing that happened (and I am eternally grateful that this is the worst thing that happened), is that my two closest friends (a married couple) moved away. I miss them fiercely, especially as the wife functioned as both my conscience and my emotional support. Not having that outlet has made me a little colder, a little less open than I was, but that's not inherently a bad thing. The job remained an inconvenience that neither inspired me with passion nor filled me with dread, which is a win in my book. My home life was sweet, two awesome housemates and a nice pad. My social life was fucking exceptional, just an endless blur of parties, drinking nights, benders, and chaos. Good times.

Once again, though, by far the highlight of the year was the traveling. I've done more ambitious trips in the past, but damn if spending a couple of months in the US, Vietnam, and Laos didn't totally restore my faith in human nature. I was just feeling like a privileged whiny middle class asshole at the start of the year, and somehow, without looking for it, just travelling around and spending time with backpackers put me in a much better place, mentally.

*edit: oh, I should add. 2011 saw me start a health kick for the first time in my life. I'm still drinking, snorting, and eating more than I should, but I'm dropping weight and gradually building some athleticism. Why the change? Well, see below:

I'm pretty fucking excited for 2012. I can't really afford it, but fuck it: I'm going on a 2 month South American adventure and life is going to be glorious. I purchased a bunch of leave (work amortizes the weeks off over the rest of the year, so you get a smaller weekly paycheck but you get paid while you're away), so I'm going to have to buy less bullshit and put my coin towards what actually makes me happy: travelling. I am ridiculously excited. If any TiBber is tossing the idea of travel around, fuck all the bullshit off and just make it happen. First round of beers in Brazil is on me.