Inspired by Reddit, what is the best horror story you can come up with in 2 sentences? Some examples:
This tastes like shit "Blech, this is the worst leftover meatloaf I have ever tasted." "Honey, have you seen that bread pan full of horse manure for the garden, that I was keeping in the fridge?"
I forget where I've seen this before, but it always stuck with me. "The last surviving human on earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the door."
This winter has been so long and cold, it's kind of nice to finally be warm again. But I still wish someone would come along and pull me out of this burning car.
The dog came in with a bloody piece of tattered clothing in his mouth, his eyes wild and smears of blood all over his coat. It wasn't until I got him cleaned up and calmed down that I realized the cloth was the sleeper I'd put on the baby an hour ago.
The group of them were just standing in the yard, soaking in the rain, smiling up at me in the window. They had nothing to be happy about, not after seeing what I did to their parents.
Good one. I thought to myself "THANK GOD the music in this bar is so loud, nobody can possibly hear me farting." Then I realized my Ipod was still on. After a life of hedonism, Johnny couldn't believe he had wound up in heaven once he strode through the pearly gates and was greeted by hordes of gorgeous, naked women. Suddenly his thoughts started to change once he noticed they all had Adams apples, and his penis was missing. The third date was going perfect- my roommates had left the house for the night so I could make a nice dinner for her in peace and finally score. After we finished off the chocolate cake I'd baked earlier, I spotted an empty box of chocolate laxatives in the trash.
Here's an honest-to-God-true one-sentence horror story. A funeral director in Mississippi got a bit of a shock this week when a man, brought to him in a body bag, kicked to get out just before he was to be embalmed.
Timmy felt the wind rush on his face, the weightlessness as he seemed to fly, felt his stomach flip as his new swing arced so high off the ground. He was surprised grandma had intestines so long. And if we're doing a real one: "I had to call 911. My daddy ate my eyes."
I like this sort of thing. The fishing trip with dad was going great, so far I have pulled him up 3 times and bagged over 8 lobsters. Mum said Billy would be 9 now, if he wasn't Jewish and I didn't need both his kidneys. Conveniently, after his wife was brutally raped and murdered right in front of him Michael had nothing left to live for. Marys scream died in her throat and her bladder released. Finding your sisters skinned body was one thing, having your only escape path blocked by something wearing her wrinkled skin was something else entirely. We were woken up again by the baby screaming to be fed. We don't have a baby. Teddy knew he had won the pillow fight with his annoying little sister as he lifted it off her small dead face.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... he counted again. Strange, he could have sworn he killed six campers. You know that crazy story you told the cops all those years ago that got you put in this asylum; the one about how I killed, dismembered and ate your whole family before replacing them with pod people? It's true. What goes in hard and fast, and comes out bloody and slow? If you guessed my 'dick' or my 'knife', either way, you're about to be right. Despite my best efforts to make Jessica love me, torture only seemed to make things worse. Maybe if I try again she'll finally understand.
Dear Dad. I'm gay. This morning I woke up with a hangover and my wallet was full of singles. When I went into work, everyone was laughing at me. There's a difference between torture and masturbation. She learned.