Women. Men. FOCUS: Discuss the lists, the differences in them and/or add yours. They don't call us opposites merely based on our plumbing.
By far the worst thing, for me anyway, was when the girl was so boring and silent. We went to starbucks before heading to a bar and she just sat back and listened to everything I said with very little engagement. I drove her home after the coffee and went to the bar with some friends instead. Another thing that bothers me a lot is when they don't show any interest at all. I get being coy and playful but I recently found out a female friend of mine, who I chased for a good length of time, wanted me to make the first move months ago. When a girl doesn't give off any friggin' signals, it's kind of hard to make the first move, no? Oh, and when asked about the general things (Movies, Music, Bars etc..) they are aloof and don't offer an opinion. You could be the hottest girl at the bar/party but I'll just leave if I find out you're an airhead. edit: To second Chater: Take an effin compliment. If we say "you look good tonight" say thanks, don't tense up and say "no I don't have you seen my hair/shoes/nails". Turn-off.
Building on this, a lack of punctuality after taking too long to decide what to wear. I'm a pretty punctual person and it always bothers me when someone is overly late. If you know it's going to take you a while to get dressed before the date, plan ahead and don't leave me sitting somewhere for half an hour wondering if I've been stood up or not. To me, that's always revealed a lack of respect that, "I'm sorry, I couldn't decide what to put on" doesn't fix.
When someone insists on making trivial conversation about the general things, and can't decipher that my lack of interest in the conversation is a sign that they are boring and instead chalks it up to it being something wrong with everyone else. More so than anything else though, the need to constantly bitch about the things everyone goes through. My girlfriend can't seem to get through her day if she doesn't take 30 - 45 minutes after each and every work day to fill me in on every annoying detail of her job. I understand that this can be common for the fairer sex, and love her enough to put up with it, but some days having to hear the same rant about Susie at the desk next to her for the 1,000th time makes it really hard to want to be close to her in anyway.
For men, I have to agree with the confidence thing. A lack of confidence drives me crazy. It manifests in one of two ways: the guy having very low self-esteem and making jokes/statements/whatever about how undesireable he is, or by being overly-boastful and obnoxious. A quiet confidence where you know who you are and WHY you are that way is so rare and attractive. For both sexes, being shy or self-conscious with your partner in bed. Yes, EVERYBODY has body issues. The time to be thinking about them or hung up on them is in the gym, when you're cooking or when you're shopping for clothes. Whatever physical characteristics you do or do not possess, if you've come to the point where you're with someone who's willing to get naked with you and have sex then that is the time to relax and enjoy the other person. Not snap off all the lights and keep your t-shirt on.
When a woman has pepper spray, rape whistle, &/or is a really fast runner. Nothing kills a hard-on faster than getting sprayed in the face with pepper spray other than the shrill cry of a rape whistle which seems to be tuned to the same frequency of a screaming child. The running thing is simply scientific as the blood has to leave my cock to deliver oxygen to my leg muscles while I chase her.
The biggest turn-off in the world in insecurity. Women hate it in men ("Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?"). Guys FUCKING HATE it in women ("I'm so fat.","I'm ugly.","I'm the most unnattractive woman in the history of the universe.","My calves feel swollen and look worse","My other boyfriend only drives a Porsche", etc). If you're insecure, keep it to yourself like you should. Spreading it around to others, especially those that have potential to date/fuck/whatever is just poisoning the well, and why bother to ruin other people's day just because you shake your own self-hatred? Just leave a suicide note at the end to make everyone feel bad and maybe Blink 182 will write an overplayed, less-than-mediocre song about you.
I will also say that biggest turn off for me would be low self-confidence. It just makes a guy seem weak and like a girlfriend rather than a potential boyfriend. Another thing that sort of goes along with this is over-analyzing everything. My husband and I have a really close guy friend who is the NICEST guy. He is also extremely shy. He never gets girls, because he is always stuck in his own head. I talk to him on the phone all the time and he asks "Well, this girl was sitting about 2 feet away from me on a bench and then she turned her head to the side and smiled a little and then scooted a little closer. What do you think this means?" He overthinks everything so much that he never makes a move. He's actually an attractive guy and will be a great catch for someone eventually.
Passive-agressive women. If there's something on your mind, just say it. Don't give the silent treatment, or make snippy, cryptic, semi-quiet comments.
Not telling me what you want, when you want it. I can't stand it when a woman acts slightly...off all night, and I can tell something is bothering her, but she's just cold and distant. Then the next day, or a week later, I hear "I really wish you had/hadn't..." I show you the courtesy of being up front and direct, please do the same. It can be agony trying to figure out what you've done wrong when you really care about the other person. Also balls.
In Women: A lack of knowledge. It's hard to make meaningful conversation when you don't know shit about what's going on in the world. At least glance at the headlines on cnn.com
Talking about cats. This is worse than talking about marriage. Wedding talk I can handle - if a woman brings up cats she can get right fucked. I think that having a skewed self-perception or embracing negative personal traits as a source of pride is a turn off as well. I have come across too many women who think that degree = smart or that bitchy = strong & independent or who talk about completely boring shit all the time that they think is utterly fascinating because it involves them.
This is two fold. Let he/her ask you questions. If he/she is interested in you he/she will. Rather than offering up a bunch of information that isn't necessary, throw just enough out there to make him/her take some interest and ask more because of it. It is not only boring to hear a bunch of shit, anything quality you may share goes on one ear and right out the other because you've already lost their interest. He's thinking about the game he's missing and she'll be thinking about what shoes to wear to the office the next day.
Men: -Calling yourself a "Nice Guy". This might not be fair, but I've had my fair share of losers with an entitlement complex whine to me about how "....girls just like assholes, they never like the Nice Guy (oh and I'm the epitome of a Nice Guy, by the way!)" to automatically render that term a big red flag. If you're truly a good man, you won't have to sing your own praises for me to see it. -Agree with whoever mentioned the talking too much thing. Conversation is a natural give-and-take activity--if you're taking up too much of the conversation, you're not giving me any opportunity to share things about myself that you might find relevant (like the fact that your verbal masturbation at our dinner table has given me an irrepressable urge to bury my pointy-toed stiletto in your nutsack later tonight). Women: -I will totally concede the point that a LOT of women act stupid because they think men find it cutesy. It's not, and it's a truly sad waste of brain space. But enough men positively respond to it to make it a decent strategy. If, like I, you think this is bullshit then I have a solution that everyone can help with: Make it abundantly clear every time you meet one of these women that you do NOT find this behavior attractive. Abstain from flattering her good looks, don't pander to her intellectual absence...just make it very, very clear that you are only interested in what is between her ears. If enough men do this, I swear women world-over would change this. Promise.
I put this on the old board. Any time a girl/guy tells me "I don't deserve you," s/he's probably right. The insecurity and lack of confidence issues have been discussed at length already, but this is kind of a ninja. At first you think, man I'm so great and my significant other really thinks the world of me. Then, you inevitably fail to live up to this person's unreasonable expectation of you as their personal savior. My advice, stick to someone that knows they deserve you, and someone you know you deserve.
Totally depends on what you're after. A cutesy and ditzy chick with a nice rack appears to be an easy score for a fuck-session. I'm guilty of falling for that, but consider the "relationship" disposable and short-term. If I'm looking for something more substantial and long-term, the ditziness is an immediate turn-off, or causes a "reclassification" to a quick score. Either way, it gets old fast, and I've yet to see someone transition from the "ditz" to the long-term-potential categories. It's kind of like the female equivalent of The Friend Zone.
I dated the same type of girl a bit ago ... except she weighed 105 and was 5'5. She was an off and on model that was always self conscious about her weight. She would always mention that she should get back to her former weight of 95lbs. I can't stand that. Another thing that I can't stand are girls that talk so much shit behind their friends back. And that's one of the things they want men to listen to! They want us to listen to how shitty there day is going because they got in another fight with their friends, and that they can't stand them. "That all they ever do is talk shit and gossip." That's not too bad if it happens sporadically but if it's once a week ... WELL FIND NEW FRIENDS! Oh and I hate it when girls say they don't have any girlfriends because they can't get along with them. So they hang out with mostly guys. That just makes me think that's something up. Like she is a whore.
I completely agree with you. But if for some chance one of these doorknobs finds your friend whom has never dated a girl and is a virgin, he more than likely won't care. And then they will get married together in another state; where non of his friends were told about the wedding because they all tried to warn him that he is fucking up. The only words she says are: "what does that mean?", "I don't get it", "you guys are weird", "huh?" She is like a puppy. My friend married a fucking puppy.