Thanks to my parents, I have been exposed to two wildly divergent threads on marriage. My dad has been married seven times. Seven. He's working on number eight right now and has already asked me to be the best man. I don't think he's ever been introduced to the idea of dating long term. It might have saved him a fortune in divorce costs and the stuff he's had to give to his ex-wives. He gets married because he thinks that it's the right thing to do. He was raised Episcopalian so while he doesn't believe in living in sin, he's not a big enough believer in the whole 'til death do us part thing. My mom has been married three times. My dad left her after a marathon marriage of four years. He also left her with me and my brother, no job prospects, and a rudimentary grasp of the English language. All of this led her marriage number two, to a guy that had his own construction business. It soured after she found out he was gambling like Charles Barkley on a bender. After moving to Hawaii, she went through guy after guy, dumping them because they either wouldn't or couldn't provide her with the financial security she wanted for her and my brother and me. That made my teenage years slightly awkward. She finally settled down with a guy who was retired Army with a big pension and family that had money. She stays with him despite the fact that every time I visit, they're fighting about something. Thanks to them, my brother and I bounced between the both of them while we were growing up. I transferred schools so many times that the count reached double digits. This is why, if I ever decide I want to get married, it's forever. I'm never going to force my future kids to deal with the shit I had to go through because my parents relationship didn't work. I'm fine with the idea that I may never marry and have kids of my own. Would I prefer it? Absolutely.
Hey. Was married for 7 years, now divorced, amicably. Anyone on the old board probably ran across a few of the mental health issues that the ex-wife had, and in the end the real reason we got divorced was because she didn't want me to be the one to find her body. Nuff said. And I loved being married, and don't think it never works. I'm just trying to get the point across that it's something that takes some work in order for it to be good... it just doesn't happen on its own. Don't get married because it's the next thing on the social "to-do" list, do it because you both want to, and understand what that commitment means.
Are we still doing this thread? Thought it would be closed by now. Marriage is a trap. Or, in 1/20, a great, great thing. When it works, it works, and there's simply no predicting what will happen if you aren't personally acquainted with the people involved.
In my experience, no. I have spoken with several married friends about it as well, and not one of them claims they have more sex after getting married than prior. Even with the same girl. Well, not really sure. The problem (and go ahead and make fun) is that when you're not getting laid regularly, your stamina, shall we say, takes a hit. So on the rare occasions that I get laid, it's not particularly great. I certainly don't blame my wife for that, it's just if I'm not getting relatively regularly it tends to be over pretty fast. No, I don't think I'm a better man for getting married. I also don't think I'm a worse man, I just haven't really seen the benefit of marriage making me a better man, yet. It very well may down the road, so I'll see.
Having spoken with an engaged friend last week, another con is that "the bitch stopped giving a fuck about what she eats and became a whale - lets go to [strip club], dude" So a con is, I suppose, that a person who is predisposed to laziness will let go of any pretensions that they gave a fuck in the first place.
No marital experience for me, but I want to point out something. Specifically, this is what it says: This is saying married men vs. single men. It leaves no room for people in a relationship, of any kind. I'd be willing to bet that people in a sexually active boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (meaning, one isn't "saving themselves") get more sex on average than people that are married. With a marriage, the person you (theoretically) want to fuck and that wants to fuck you is there. When you're single, there's work involved. So no shit married men get it on more than (most) single men. Never mind that some single men are actually celibate by choice (whereas married men have nothing to "save" themselves for), so that further fucks it up. Again, I have no personal experience in this area, which is what you were asking for as a prerequisite. But before people started commenting on your question, I felt the clarification was worth making.
I call bullshit on #8. It's a good reason to get married so you can breed? Almost every man wants to be a father? Give me a fucking break. Anyway. In my experience, the marriage sex was different than dating sex. Swing from the chandelier while calling me a naughty whore...that's dating sex. Married sex is "Well, I can't say that to her. She's my wife. So it's going to be plain ol' missionary sex with the appropriate moaning here and there." Yeah. I married a man with a Madonna-whore complex. Problem is, this kind of thing didn't start until the ring was on the finger.
On sex and marriage: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html</a> (for what it's worth, this website is more for laughing at than actually paying attention to) For what it's worth, sex with my girlfriend changed for the worse ever since she first used the L-word on me. Damn.
After 11 years of Marriage I can honestly say that I get as much if not more sex than before we were married. I still get it on an at least once a day average with 3-4 blowjobs a week.
I would say so: if you get married you will be disappointed and if you do not you will be disappointed anyway. But no matter what you have to try. I am married.
Of that list, 1 and 2 might be valid reasons to get married. Fundamentally, what we're seeing from all of you people bitching about marriage is that if you're a moron who forms relationships with whores, marriage can be a trap. If on the other hand you have a good relationship with a good person - marriage is fucking awesome. If the 1 marriage in 20 being awesome figure holds water with this audience, it's because 19 out of 20 of you are morons who shack up with whores. Blaming your own faults on Marriage is stupid.
You will still have dry spells, married or not. Factor in work and kids, sometimes you're just too damn tired for a romp in the hay. Kids are a serious libido killer. That having been said, I do believe for the most part the sex is better. There is a level of comfort with your partner that makes it more relaxed and enjoyable. As for #6 I believe it was, about making you more attractive, from personal experience there is definitely something to that, although I'm not sure why. Whether it's self confidence, hormones, pheremones or "I wonder if I can get him to cheat", I'd say it's mostly true. It can be work, it can be frustrating, but in the end, it beats my single days. I can rely on and trust my wife when other's come and go in life. You can't beat that.