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10 Reasons Not To Get Married

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by iczorro, Feb 12, 2010.

  1. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Marriage (when it ends) ruins families, and the self esteem of the children involved. I think most of us can speak from experience.
     
  2. Dcc001

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    Am I the only one who thinks that marriage is actually a good thing?

    WITH THIS CAVEAT: Never get married before the age of 27/28. That seems to be the age where you shed the last vestiges of being a kid, and truly grow up. Once you get over that hurdle, if all goes well, you know who you are as a person.

    People who get married at a young age are nuts. Or mislead. Damn few people are lucky enough to find a person at the age of 20 who will actually be a good choice by the time the age of 30 rolls around.
     
  3. iczorro

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    My Grandparents got married at 20/19... loved each other for 20 years, hated each other for 20 years (old school Catholic, no divorce), have loved each other for another 15 years. It can happen, even when it doesn't always happen.

    If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. Da da daaah dahhh. (that's a song, right?).
     
  4. BL1Y

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    Every single marriage ends in either death or divorce.

    There are no alternatives.

    And I agree that getting married at a young age isn't a great idea. If you're leaving home, going to college, graduating, moving, starting your first real career, etc...you're going through a lot of changes. You will change as a person, as well you should. It's foolish to think that the people you and your loved one change into will be right for each other. You may change in only good ways, but that doesn't mean you'll remain compatible.
     
  5. iczorro

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    I would say that any marriage started in a time of emotional upheaval is doomed to fail. But that would be saying that every Baby Boomer parent is divorced, and that's only like... 90%?
     
  6. Natty

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    Number one reason to get married: seriously man, who the fuck else is going to deal with your bullshit?
     
  7. iczorro

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    Me, and not have to deal with their bullshit.
     
  8. shegirl

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    After marriage normally comes kids. They may be little but they still scare me. And often their nose is snotty.
     
  9. Ogee

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    And they smell. I hate baby-stank.

    FOCUS: Marriage means kissing 50% of your shit goodbye (in the inevitable divorce).
     
  10. Kratos

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    No, but I've never been married so I can't say from experience. I think it can be a very good thing, from what I've observed, if people actually know who the fuck they are and what they want before they get into it. Like you said, wait until after 28 before even thinking about it. I heard a statistic (and it is probably false but I still use it) that 75% of marriages before the age of 24 will eventually end in divorce.

    It also seems that most people here are anti-kids if they don't have them. I don't have any but defintiely do want some, someday. I know I'm not financially or psychologically stable enough for small humans yet. I would hope I will be though when I find the right person.
     
  11. Pink Candy

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    Boy, can I relate to marriage means you'll never get laid again. Love how that list implies it's just the men that don't get fucked.

    Says the woman that hasn't been laid in two weeks, following a two month dry spell. Even if there is a medical explanation for why on the man's end (and there is in this situation), it still fucking sucks.
     
  12. abneretta

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    I got married at 19, my husband was 23. We started dating my senior year of high school and I moved in with him when I graduated. For the most part we're happily married but I think things have been a lot harder because we married so young.

    Herein lies a good portion of our problems, when we got married we both figured we'd start trying for a baby in a few years. In the 3 1/2 years we've been married my stance on this has changed, and by changed I mean taken a 180. My husband wants kids yesterday, I'm not even sure if I want them at all anymore. I'm more than content with the nieces and nephews that I can send home when I'm done. Obviously this is a big obstacle, one I don't know how or if we can overcome.

    Marriage is a huge commitment and, as the article said, full of compromise. At 19, I don't think I fully understood this. I thought I did and I didn't listen to the people who tried to tell me. I love my husband and I'm happy with our marriage, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
     
  13. tweetybird

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    Who are you marrying, smartass? My fiance and I have a mutual agreement to not do this, and to kindly nudge/assist the other if it looks like it's going to happen. If you are marrying someone who thinks that the ring is a get out of jail free card for never seeing the inside of a gym again, that is your problem bucko.

    Sexually, yes, if your marriage is not open. I give you this.

    No. Marriage is not expensive. The WEDDING can be expensive if you want it to be. The STUFF you buy can be expensive if you want it to be. The MARRIAGE doesn't cost you anything.

    I guess you could see it this way, you giant curmudgeon. Ok, we'll call a draw on this one.

    See my response to number 1. I mean, my fiance and I are in the regular habit of getting up and going somewhere just cause we feel like it. It's one of the great joys of our relationship. We're both committed to keeping it that way.

    Yep. Can't argue there. Something about needing to be a mature adult that has already been covered in other comments...

    Again, really? Who are you marrying? Have you talked about this? It doesn't have to be this way, barring medical issues like those mentioned by Pink Candy.

    Yep, if you're an idiot and marry someone who thinks marriage is about letting yourself go, ending spontenaity, and no more sex.

    Who are you marrying why haven't you talked about it you are an idiot I feel like a broken record.

    That, friends, would be the whole point of the exercise. A partner. A person to be a witness to your life.

    I don't know, I guess I'm probably pretty sensitive on this because I'm about to get married, at a very appropriate age of 28, and it really sucks the joy out of life to have every third person who finds this out but doesn't really know me tell me that it is going to suck. My fiance and I have hashed out a lot of issues and planned for the big stuff to come, including the biggies of sex and kids. We're going in eyes wide open, determined to make it awesome for ourselves and each other. We're not looking for a fairytale, we're creating a real life with all of the ups and downs that go along with it.

    In sum: don't blame me and my impending marriage for the fact that you and your spouse are idiots and your marriage sucks. It's not about the institution, it's about the people involved.
     
  14. SaintBastard

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    Why enter into something where success means watching the other one die? Standing over your loved one's lifeless corpse while shaking hands with strangers and bawling your eyes out? Congratulations! You won the marriage game!
     
  15. Sam N

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    I see a lot of talk about a fiance, but none about an actual marriage. Do you not think every engaged couple has this idealized and hopeful version of what the future marriage will bring? Sad fact is, a marriage that maintains any semblance of spontaneity or excitement for more than five years is the rare exception.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    Boy, single/unmarried people out there keep talking about marriage like they actually KNOW something about it. Like the moment she says "I do" leathery wings sprout out of her back and she bites the priest on the face.

    Do you know what actually happens when you get married? NOTHING. Nothing changes whatsoever. Some overpriced jewelry, some overpriced rentals, a vacation and its back to the same old relationship shit. Anybody who tells you things change when you get married is either a total pussy or a two-faced liar. It's a simple and brave commitment, nothing else. It is NOT a big deal. People talk about it like it's similar to dying from heart disease, and from my observation use logic like:

    "Well, I cheat on him/her constantly, but when we're MARRIED all that's over. There such commitment to marriage!"

    a) why would you cheat on somebody you might marry?
    b) If you're cheating, what's stopping you later that's not stopping you now?
    c) If you're worried about God or something, don't be because he doesn't give a shit about ANYTHING at all.

    Congrats, yourself! You're teaching a class you're yet to take! Practically everyone is going to see their parents die, so deal with THAT. If you're up to spending your life alone and dying that way too, be my guest. Success isn't watching the other die, it's making it work while you're still alive. Watching your partner die or vice-versa? Sorry, but that's life. Fucking deal with it, and take comfort in knowing your never had a choice. You're not going to be macking bitches when you're 75 and single, you're going to pray that your nurse pillows you in your sleep. Why? Because you have nothing.

    You don't HAVE to have kids (or HAVE to do anything) when you're married, that's your choice. Maybe you and your partner should agree on that before you take any responsible steps in life. Oh, and having a kid is AWESOME so fuck every single one of you that disagree with that (by the way, anyone on here who has children doesn't).

    A lot of you brag on here that you'll never get married, and about 33% of you are probably right. My wife was adamant about never getting married, then she did exactly that....with me. That's saying something. Marriage doesn't suck, divorce sucks. If you marry stupid, then you're going to get put through an expensive, nightmarish, brow-beating inquisition that makes no sense and will leave you praying for death and hating everyone in the world.


    ...or maybe I'm just a fucking retard. Now, where's my propeller hat?
     
  17. MoreCowbell

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    This proves a point that I've always thought. It actually can serve as a brilliant commitment device.

    I think there is a sizable number of people who stay together, because they're married, that end up much happier because of it. It, to some degree, prevents people from breaking up happy relationships over petty bullshit, and allows people the time/resolution to fix things that they might otherwise walk away from.

    Now is that greater than the number of people who stay in unhappy relationships too long? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But it is something.
     
  18. Crown Royal

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    Many many people (like my poor sister-in-law) stay in unhappy relationships for much longer than they should go on, but usually that can be blamed on low self-esteem and/or a fear of being alone.
     
  19. Fernanthonies

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    I've seen a bunch of high school friends get married because I think they all buy into the idea that that is what you are supposed to do. College: Done. Got a Job: Good. Whats next? Marry someone.

    I think that's the worst way to think about it and is the main reason why most marriages fail (but like someone else said, I've never been married so I pretty much don't know what I'm talking about.)

    I'm 26 and don't plan on being married for a long time. If I do get married its not going to be because that's what people expect once I've dated a girl for awhile. If I get married it will be because I've been with the girl for a couple years, I love her, and I can't imagine not being with her for the rest of my life. At least I assume that's what will happen, as sappy and fucked up as that sounds.

    And as of right now, I'm pretty sure I never want kids. From the looks of the pet thread, most of you would agree with me when I say if you want a kid stop, think about it, and then get a fucking dog. Dog's are like kids that don't start talking, will never stop loving you, and you can teach them to shit in the yard.
     
  20. MoreCowbell

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    Well yes, but I'm willing to admit that marriage probably exacerbates that to some extent.