Today is: National Boston Cream Pie Day-I'd take pie over cake any day. This seems to be somewhere in between. National TV Talk Show Host Day-I pick Ellen. National IPOD Day-*blinkblink* huh? National Mole Day-The vermin kind, not the skin kind. We are hanging pumpkin lights and carving pumpkins this weekend. Considering I'm not a big fan of kids in general, I am oddly excited about this. Probably because it's the first "real" holiday since buying the house. What are your Halloween traditions?
I had my own American Horror story this morning. I was working in the basement of a warehouse in Brooklyn and desperately needed to take a leak. I found a disused men's room, cobwebs hanging from the ceiling like draperies, insects scuttling around, layers of dust. As I was peeing, I there were at least 3 spiders poised in webs, in the urinal, above my dick, considering wether to pounce. I bravely micturated onward, and survived unbitten, but I still get chills thinking about it. Also, last night - Hammerschlagen and flaming Hammerschlagen. Four nails are driving into a block of wood, stump, etc. Four people then take turns trying to drive the nail into the wood with the blade of a hatchet, 1 stroke each turn. Hatchet has to start on the wood as pictured, the quickly brought up and down, smooth stroke, no raising then aiming, no stuttering, etc. The person who drives in the nail with the hatchet in the fewest strokes wins. For variety, wrap a rag socked in a flammable liquid around the head of the hatchet, light it, and proceed as described without getting burned.
Ahem, I believe you meant Natl Mole Day as in Avogadro's number (6.02 x 10^23). Duh. No big Halloween traditions per se. Usually dress up in Goth Slutty ____ costume, drink and make cookies. I watch Hocus Pocus and listen to shitty campy Halloween music. The gayborhood has a block party. I love that shit. Last year we got married on Halloween weekend so I kinda skipped everything I usually do.
My tradition is getting drunk and carving pumpkins with my siblings. It's fun. I won't be in town for trick or treating this year but was kind of looking forward to that and having my "lion" help out. Tonight I'm going on one of those Pedal Pub things again and to make things even better, it's raining today. Great. Wet and cold and surrounded by busy traffic is a great combo. I know you're supposed to just bring beer on them but I'm afraid we'll need liquor for tonight.
I realize that Starbucks is the perfect place for a housewife to hang out and post memes on Facebook explaining why their job is the hardest in the world. For the love of Christ can you people realize that not everyone's time is as unvaluable as yours? I work in a building where I cant have a coffee pot or tea kettle to heat water up. Apparently it's a fire hazard. So I have to go to the fricking Starbucks to get my afternoon cup of joe. My time is valuable. PICK OUT WHAT SCONE YOU WANT BEFORE YOU GET TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. I'm not sure how you have 20 minutes to discuss all of the flavors with the barista, and I'm not sure why she has enough time to indulge you. There are 10 other people in line. Pick one, and get back on your god damn computer so you can bitch more about how your husband doesn't like half the quinoia recipes you find that look so delicious on pintrest. Some of us have better things to do like go back to work and complain on the internet about you. I would kill to have my hardest task of the day be making sure I'm sober enough to walk the kids home from the bus stop. Some day.
Woo, this is your last year to dress up as Goth Slutty Cop before the baby is born! Don't forget to post pictures in the Halloween thread. Or, just PM them to me. Either one.
HOLY SHIT! They caught a Highlander! http://www.wtva.com/news/Seven_arrested_in_Lowndes_County_drug_busts.html
That article failed to mention that Dismuke was out on parole after serving two consecutive life sentences.
While I am missing fall festivities, I just got done eating an andouillette crepe in Paris. Soooo... woe is me? Andouillete is that thing Bourdain eats all the time. It's intestines stuffed in intestines, stuffed inside intestines until it looks like a sausage. It's basically a stuffed butthole. Man, it is f'n good. No weird flavor, tasted like a spicy sausage. This creperie by my hotel is insane. Had bottle of cider, butthole crepes, tomato and ham crepe, then the owner was so happy with us he demanded to choose the dessert crepe. He brings one out with roasted apples that spread like butter, fresh whipped creme, vanilla ice cream, and homemade caramel. I'm losing my mind here. There are just too many good places to eat and not enough time. Fuck Notre Dame, find me potted meats and year old cheese. I can't get this at home. Last night, had a bottle of Bordeaux wine, goose pate, escargots, steak au poivre, roast chicken with morrels (I think I saw god tasting this), then a tarte tartin. The Americans behind us ordered lasagana. Also made my reservation for Bistro Paul Bert for Tuesday. I can't fucking wait.
I think you're underestimating how difficult this is. Particularly with an open bottle of vodka and fresh tonic calling your name.
Here's a live stream of Hurricane Patricia as it makes landfall in Mexico. (If you haven't heard yet, this is the most powerful storm on record....200MPH sustained winds and an estimated 40ft tide surge.) EDIT: Here's a live stream from Puerto Vallarta: (It's hit and miss right now, either due to the weather or number of users.)
Since I dress up in wacky costumes 15-20 weekends a year already, Halloween is just a pain in the ass most of the time. Every single group or organization I am a part of tries to be cute with dressing up and it's endlessly annoying. I'm part of a professional networking group and they want us all to dress up for our networking meeting. At 7:30 in the morning on a Thursday. Yeah, fuck that. The hot chicks in skimpy outfits at parties is pretty good though, but aside from that, it's a pretty meh holiday for me.
Can't we do anything anymore without someone being fucking upset? University Says Using the Term “Politically Correct” is a Politically Incorrect “Microaggression” http://www.infowars.com/university-...t-is-a-politically-incorrect-microaggression/ FUCK. I'm glad I'm old and will die soon. The rest of y'all will get to deal with this bullshit.
I should probably mention my breakfast right now is an unpasteurized cheese of indeterminate origin, salmon spread and crackers, fresh figs that are unlike anything, and a bottle of Haut Medoc Bordeaux. All this stuff was like $14 American. It could be shit by Parisian standards, but it's great to me. That whole spiel about European food quality is all true. American grocery stores are fucking us all in the anuswhole.
You cite Fox News a lot. You're not allowed to cite Alex Jones. He's a psychopath. But mostly a fucktard. We could work hard to build a wonderful country and world in which the next generation can live. He does the opposite. I have no clue as to how you work so hard and live your life being a fucking dumbass.