So I spent this morning the same way I spend most mornings- watching "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" and coloring, when a certain innocence-destroying thought came to me. Spoilered for those who don't want their childhoods ruined: Spoiler There are Pirates all over Neverland. Evil, bloodthirsty Pirates. And what do Pirates do? They drink, plunder, and rape. What else is on the island? Mermaids, pixies, and Lost Boys. Mermaids have only mouths, which have teeth. Plus they can just stay underwater forever. Pixies are friggin' tiny. ... Those Lost Boys were probably raped to shit. ... No wonder Tootles lost his marbles... Izzy better watch her back is all I'm sayin'. Anywho, who's up for some drunken non-political discussions involving random personal soliloquies as they stay as far away from the Martin-Zimmerman thread as their monitors allow? Ooooo, I know I am!
I'm half in the bag. I'm not going to lie. I have 2 more hours until this day is done and I'm happy. Pub culture and lunch beers for the mu'fuckin win.
Wait, you went there for pancakes? I mean if you're going to fuck your shit up at least go the respectable route and get a sausage and cheese biscuit.
Fucking Tapatalk isn't working for the TiB, stuck at work making no money, this day sucks. Beers later though, many many beers.
I haven't been out in a while - I told my friends in honor of Friday the 13th, I'm going to drink until I look like this tonight.
Going out to the bars tonight, the girlfriends brother is coming up from Dallas, so I talked her into going to a bar I've always liked that we never go to. They remodeled recently and doubled the size of the place, so it's pretty nice now. The kicker? Girlfriends brother that is coming from Dallas is staying at our place tonight, and he is bringing his new boyfriend. Yep, this will be interesting. You better believe I'll be getting good and drunk.
Yet you will feel a tinge of sadness when the boyfriend doesn't come on to you anyway, and feel you aren't up to par.
I know she's stupid and nigh unintelligible in real life, but I can't stop listening to this song: Yeah.
Going to a sex toy party this weekend. These types of parties always sound so devious, but it's really just a lot of drunk women sitting around, giggling about blowjobs. I'm supposed to be throwing one of these parties next month as a bachlorette thing, and I've realized how serious these women get about these parties. Just a warning, if you get invited to one of these parties buy something. The girl showing all this stuff gets really pushy.
That's all wonderful and good, but here's Emma Watson's legs: Spoiler We've covered ass, boobs, hairy vaginas, up-to-the-elbow fisting, lesbians, and guys making out. I don't think we've had a leg theme on the WDT.
Hey - if you see any good vibrating nipple clamps, hook me up. I'll hit you an EMT. My clamps are pathetic.
Agreed. They get super pushy. I went to a sex toy party last summer and the presenter was this really awkward lady who had a disorder that made her shake uncontrollably. I couldn't tell if the toy was vibrating or if it was just her. She was short and fat and kept hitching her shorts up all night. She also kept talking about how much her and her fiance enjoyed this toy and that toy. It really grossed me out.
I'm just thrilled she has hair again, even if it is a wig. That pixie cut nonsense did not work for her.