The TiB Career Series: Ask a Functional Alcoholic.

1) How did it start? At what point did you sort of start to think "I'm an alcoholic".

2) Again, how do you deal with the hangovers?! I'd love to drink a shit load every night, but if I get drunk one night, the crushing hangover stops me from doing anything the next day.

3) How did you get a 100k job? I presume being an alcoholic would have made getting qualifications hard. I know my drinking has impaired my college results somewhat, and I don't do much more than the average student.

4) Do you drink whilst you work? In the morning? What's the regime?

5) Whats your favourate drink.


And congrats I suppose, I guess you're somewhat living the dream.

 

Do you have any concerns for your health long term? As you stated above you're overweight and drinking that much is probably doing some serious damage to your liver.

 

Reading this, all I could think of is "Why don't you just go to rehab?" Or have you tried rehab before?

 

Do you want to quit drinking? If so, what have you tried?

What "life" do you think you're missing out on?

Do you use alcohol to avoid using something else? Is alcohol your only problem?

What good do you see from drinking?

I ask because I'm approaching a year sober, and I'm trying to help one of my buddies shake off a booze problem. At this point, it's about support and changing perspectives then changing behaviors. But, I can only share what worked for me, and I wouldn't say I had an alcohol problem.

 

Do you know anyone that drinks more than you?

Has anyone ever tried to give you an intervention?

 

Interesting answers and I'm sorry that I forgot to mention it in my first post but thanks for your honesty and taking the time to do this, it's really interesting.

The whole genetics thing raises a lot of questions for me though, like do you really believe that? Is there serious Science behind it, or perhaps it's propaganda from the religious lobby who use it to say to you "If you ever have a drink and you're genetically at risk, you'll become an alcoholic?"

Are you ever able to just have a few drinks and then stop? I know personally I struggle some times with that, but luckily I don't have the money to become an alcoholic. Which leads me to my next question, what advice do you have for someone with a history of alcoholism in their family who doesn't want to go down the same road, but at the same time, really enjoys going out and getting blitzed or even drinking solo occasionally.

 

I've always heard that the first step is admitting that you have a problem.* Sounds like you admitted that a long time ago. Is posting all this here the next step? Are there other places / people where you talk about your problem? Do you see a day in the future where you will try living sober?

*I might be wrong there, as I don't have much experience with this. Maybe you can clarify: I guess you admit that you're an alcoholic, but since you're functional, you may not be admitting that it's a problem. You've confessed that there have been consequences and damages, but not that you want them to stop.

My post and questions sound judgmental, and I'm not intending them to - just curious.

 

You say that boredom is a big factor. Is there something that you enjoy doing that doesn't involve drinking (that isn't sex)?

What's your end game here? You say that you're slowly committing suicide, but that you would also like to be able to curb your habit and moderate it. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

 

Do you have a life outside of working and going home and drinking? Is it possible to have a life outside drinking and work as an alcoholic?

 

As a 2 tour combat vet I started getting crippling anxiety attacks (I went to the hospital during my first one thinking I was having a heart attack) I tried self medicating to help with the anxiety and self loathing. Have you tried medication like Zoloft and Lorazipam? I take both, however I do slip on occasianal weekend binges. I don't have an alcohol problem per se, however it is in my family history and I do use it to cope. So I guess I can see where you are comming from. I guess my question is this, have you tried therepy and medication?

 

Alcoholism is like blowing your brains out with a bb gun. Eventually, it'll get the job done. It's a progressive disease that, untreated, always gets worse and never better.

Temporarily. I too drank (and drugged) to escape, but after the buzz wore off, life was still there staring me in the face, so I'd drink/drug again, perpetuating the vicious cycle. I was just self-medicating a symptom and not addressing my real issues, and in the process, the disease progressed.

These two statements lead me to my questions: Given this contradiction you are living, do you honestly believe it's a matter of not wanting to stop? Have you ever considered that it may be fear of having to face life without alcohol? And this is asked with sincerity, not judgement. And as a follow-up, if someone offered you a way out of this contradiction, would you accept it?

 

The question I've always wanted to ask alcoholics concerns hydration. Sometimes I get blackout drunk too. Sometimes I have a bad hangover, sometimes none at all. Regardless, the next day I feel dehydrated as all hell. It takes me basically the entire next day to feel like I have enough water in my system. This is referring to me, who probably gets drunk on about a 1/3 or a 1/4 of what you need to get drunk. You drink so much more, and so must get even more dehydrated right? How in gods name do you manage to drink enough water to not die of dehydration every day??

 

I drank daily from age 26 to 39 and have been sober for 17 months. I have a couple of questions.

The last 8 years I drank my world got really small, all there was for me was my booze, job, and apartment. All I cared about was making money to drink and then having a place to pass out after drinking. Has this happened to you ?

I stopped hanging out with my friends because they got in the way of my drinking. It was much easier to be by myself because I could drink as much as I wanted to without anyone judging me. Are you experiencing this as well ?

Do you know anyone that you can talk to in recovery who has been successful staying sober ? Does this interest you at all or do you feel that there is no way out from under your alcoholism ?

I don't know your specific situation but I know about alcoholism. Speaking up and answering questions on an internet forum is a good start but talking to other alcoholics can be very helpful.

I wish you well.

 

You mentioned a son. How old is he and how often do you have him with you? (I'm assuming that you are either divorced or were never married and are no longer in the relationship that spawned your son). How does your drinking affect him and your relationship with him? What about your relationship with his mother? Is she aware/concerned of the time he is with you (if she is still around)?

Do you always do your drinking at home on your own or do you go out to bars/restaurants?

Are your friends aware of your drinking problem? (I know you alluded to the fact that your co-workers are not)

How often do you make your alcohol purchases? Do you stop on the way home everyday or do you hit up Sam's Club with a flat bed cart on the weekends?

Very interesting topic. Thanks for taking the time.

 

My alcoholism reached peak 5 years ago when I was waking up at 5am so I could get a 2 bottle of wine headstart on the day before leaving for work at 7am. So I guess look on the brightside you aren't doing that yet. But priorities in life changed with circumstance and my drinking took a backseat. I now have my own twisted version of AA where I take it one day at a time.

In my version that simply means I allocate certain days to drinking. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are drinking days while the others are sober days. I work my life schedule around this. To Whoreswithnoname what can I say, I unfortunately don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. My only advice is to try and have off days.

An interesting tidbit for others, wine is the hallmark of a functioning alcoholic. If you have a friend who likes to drink wine, drinks it fast and can consume large amounts without being visibly drunk he is possibly a functioning drunk. Wine is strong enough to give a buzz yet weak enough not to put you under the table while also being easy to drink very quickly.

 

Forgive me if this is inelegantly phrased.

I've known a few alcoholics over the years. They were mainly relatives of friends of mine. Are you at the point where you need a drink to sober up, and look drunk when you're sober? I've always had some fascination for how that works and how it feels.

 

Are you related to Bender?

Focus: Seriously dude, you need to get some help. My brother in law is 40 and he is on the liver transplant list because he drank himself to liver failure. He was just like you, functional. Raised a family, director of IT for a company, got his job done well and so on. But when he got home he would pour a drink. Then another one. And another one, and then would be done with a bottle of vodka. Then would do to bed. It started out as a 750mL, then turned into a 1.75l

Eventually his liver was not able to process alcohol as fast, and he would be drunk longer and longer thanks to the scarring.

Now for liver transplants the best results come from someone bigger than you. He is 6'6 and 340 lbs. They are going to be hard pressed to find someone who can fit the criteria.

So try your best not to end up like him.

 

When you do leave your house, do you hang out with enablers that share your lifestyle?

What does your family think?

 

This whole thread is a cry for help. You clearly recognize that something isn't right. If it's gotten to the point that you're opening up about this stuff to strangers for lack of a better outlet, it's time to seek serious, professional assistance. This voyeuristic nonsense is not a viable substitute.

Cut the shit. Get help.